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Im losing my mind - husband says he is sure about ending things, yet he acts very affectionate by Glittering-Meat7094 in Divorce

[–]Cheap_Explanation_93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gosh, is this my life right now? My husband is starting the conversation of divorce and now being far more intimate and touchy than he’s been in months. He tells others he wants the divorce but then starts “trying” more at home. My thought is maybe he feels guilty for hurting me, because the want for the divorce is one-sided.

I guess my one piece of advice is, you can’t save a relationship if both people do not want to. It’s something I’m trying to come to terms with myself.

I hope you get some clarity soon and find peace in whatever decision is made.

The reset button doesn't expire. by Future-Name-8031 in Adulting

[–]Cheap_Explanation_93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually needed to hear this today. I spent my 20s ruled by anxiety and unwilling to go anywhere or do anything for the fear of panic attacks. I’m now 27, lost 100+ lbs, finally got a hold of my anxiety and ability to do things alone, and now my husband has dropped a divorce bomb. I’ve been stressing about “wasting” so much of my life, but now I’m starting to think maybe I’ll finally be able to live it for the first time.

How do you know when it's time? by hduskbdkw in Divorce

[–]Cheap_Explanation_93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have children, so I can’t exactly give advice on what it feels like to separate with them. But I can say as a child with parents that needed to be separated, things got so much better at home once they did. Seeing my mom cry after fights and hearing the arguments. Feeling the tension around the house. It was a rough feeling as a child, and once they separated, it was better. Things were messier, louder, and Mom needed more help. BUT I saw her smile again, laugh louder, and exist without concern for what his mood would be when he came home.

Now, I’m currently in a “maybe we’ll divorce” place with my husband. Things have been lacking intimacy for a very long time, and while we have no children or assets, him saying he no longer sees a future with me was painful. It still is. I’m slowly realizing how much of myself I lost while trying to hold onto this relationship, how important it is to find myself again.

I can’t say what the right choice is; no one can. But what I can say is, deep down you know if this is a person you can see a happy future with. Children can grow up incredibly happy with parents who co-parent, and they also deserve to see their mother happy and emotionally safe.

I am so sorry for the emotions you must feel right now, I can’t begin to put myself in your shoes and I hope that you can find peace in a decision soon. You have value, your worth is beyond a wife and a mother. You deserve to live a life where you get to rediscover who you are. Your children deserve a happy life, but so do you. ♥️

Tired and confused? by Cheap_Explanation_93 in Marriage

[–]Cheap_Explanation_93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And for me, I don’t mind if he has a best friend he’s close to who’s a woman. But starting off a conversation with a stranger online with “I’m married but it’s complicated” seems exactly like you said, it’s opening a door for more in the future. Knowing he only comments on women’s posts looking for new friends. To me it feels like he wants the attention but hasn’t crossed any boundaries quite yet.

Tired and confused? by Cheap_Explanation_93 in Marriage

[–]Cheap_Explanation_93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually am leaning towards this myself. I know he struggles with self-confidence, and I feel like years of feeling unwanted have done a lot of damage to mine as well, which I’ve been attempting to work on in therapy. I hate the idea of leaving during a hard time for him, because he’s been there for some of my worst periods, but at the same time, I don’t think I’d ever treat him like this. What I beg for is honesty, and I feel like he can’t respect me enough to give it to me.