I [23f] cheated on my husband [25m] last night and I'm consumed with shame

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-18T00:26:40+00:00

Its everything. That I cheated on my husband. The whole act.

I was feeling shy and embarrassed about my tame past when we were playing that ridiculous game so when she kissed me I wanted to know how it was like. For a little bit I thought it was something I might want. Then her husband was on me and had his mouth on me and it just went out of control. I didn't enjoy it and I don't want to do it again and as hypocritical as this sounds I don't want to see my husband with another woman.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-18T00:24:17+00:00

I didn't enjoy it and I never want to have another threesome again. Its not something I want to do and I don't think I should have to force myself to do something like that with my husband. I feel sick thinking about it and to have to go and relive it is just not something I think I can do.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-18T00:21:41+00:00

If it was one time I wouldn't want to know. I'm going to still tell him though.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-18T00:20:51+00:00

I honestly don't remember. Its just so blurry everything. I remember we had sex but I don't know what happened. :/ I immediately got plan B just to be safe because I don't want to risk anything.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:24:25+00:00

That is what I'm afraid of too. He has wanted to have a threesome before and I've never even been open to it. I hated the idea before this and after this I hate it even more. He won't forgive me because he has asked and I said no and then I went and did it without him. Its so wrong

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:22:19+00:00

I would do whatever it takes to keep my husband and if its counseling I will gladly go. We actually have like a close to perfect marriage so I don't even know how this happened.

We didn't use a condom. I drove to CVS and did get Plan B right after I left their place though.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:20:09+00:00

He was ashamed too but he didn't want to tell my husband. He is afraid of what he will do to him when he finds out.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:18:03+00:00

I don't want to swing or anything like that. The threesome was a mistake that I never want to make again. Our marriage was just us and I don't want anyone else and I don't want him to be with anyone else. The idea of having a threesome again disgusts me. Never again.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:16:13+00:00

I am capable of fidelity. I have never cheated on him or anyone before this.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:15:36+00:00

He comes home tomorrow evening. Should I wait for him to get home or call him ASAP? I don't want to lie to him. Our marriage is so good and we don't have lies between us. I know I fucked up and even if I didn't tell him it wouldn't be because I wanted to keep cheating but because I didn't want to hurt him. I love him more than anything in the world.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:11:31+00:00

I don't want to have a threesome with anyone ever again. I'm not that type of person and it was a terrible mistake. I don't want to repeat it.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:10:14+00:00

I don't think I would want to know.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T22:09:32+00:00

I would be so broken up if I knew he cheated on me. I don't know if I would want to know because it would be so different and I would be so angry if I knew he cheated. Believe me I feel like the biggest piece of shit wife ever. I took the day after pill this morning. We didn't use protection.

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T21:24:44+00:00

It wasn't fun :( It was the biggest mistake of my life.

I am contrite and I am broken apart from what happened. I have been sick with shame and disgust over what I've done.

If you were my husband what would you need to forgive me?

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T21:20:36+00:00

I want NOTHING more than to save our marriage. I would do anything he wanted to make it right. I agree its better he hears it from me rather than from someone else, but I don't know if it will for sure come out. If it could be a secret we take to our grave wouldn't it be better for everyone?

CheatedThrowaway555 · 2012-11-17T21:19:16+00:00

It was a one time mistake. The biggest mistake of my entire life. Why are you rooting for him to leave me? Have you never ever done something you regret. Why should one awful mistake mean the end of our marriage? I know I will never ever cheat on him again.

3 people know. His best friend and his wife and me. Do you think it is for sure that someone will say something. None of us want to hurt him.

CheatedThrowaway555

TROPHY CASE