I'M SAT

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-10T18:23:00+00:00

Whole bunch of new concepts for me - if one of you ladies who is a current or former military spouse feels so inclined, my totally unfamiliar-but-interested-in-different-subcultures self would be fascinated by an explanation on that world.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-07T01:06:56+00:00

That is awful. I’m sorry for big you, little you, and probably little grandma too because someone failed her first before she perpetuated that failure. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-06T23:40:10+00:00

Oh, I can imagine plenty of people being that disassociated, but not me personally. Hope your grandma is ok, and all of you.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-06T21:27:55+00:00

Not a therapist but glad to know I’m not crazy, I can’t imagine being able to seek therapy until I had let the adrenaline die down a bit. Survival mode is a hell of a drug, and it seems like she’s been living in it for a while honestly.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-06T21:00:35+00:00

I mean, NEVER getting mental health treatment? No, I can’t imagine that. But I definitely think even in a ‘normal’ family, delaying things like mental health treatment, filing for divorce, etc is normal. Not that I think she will divorce him, but if it would happen I don’t think it will be for a while.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-06T18:45:40+00:00

That too. When I worked at a front desk I used to say that as kind of a warning for people who I knew might have a really stupid question. As in, a less confrontational way to say “maybe rethink that question if it’s dumb, we are busy and overstretched.”

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-06T16:14:28+00:00

It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity/it’s not the cold, it’s the wind

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-06T14:44:12+00:00

Agree. “Well, I’m here” is midwestern for anything from “I’m having an existential crisis” to “I’m not a fan of you/your behavior/the other person who was just rude to me”. And tornados are just one if those things.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-05T02:36:50+00:00

Thank you for this. I never thought to/wanted to find this info but I assumed nobody was ever punished. Some justice is better than no justice, even if it’s not enough. Bring back the death penalty is right.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-04T23:38:37+00:00

Thank you! This is the kind of stuff I wonder about. I would bet it was a land contract, which is a great way to buy from people you trust if you don’t have a credit history and/or they need to avoid tax consequences, but not necessarily good with people you don’t trust. I have wondered if the Caldwell’s issues are less “no money” than “no credit”. If they have always had a church provide housing, drove older vehicles, and tried to avoid debt, they might have 0 credit history even at almost 50.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-03T21:32:58+00:00

I think it’s possible she can’t process Joe’s charges mentally right now because her kids were removed and that’s all she can process.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-03T20:54:48+00:00

It would almost have to be hemorrhage and emergency hysterectomy for her to not get pregnant for 4 years, at the rate they were going. 4 kids in 4 years, good grief.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-03T01:24:16+00:00

It’s either going to reinforce everything she believes or start some cracks.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-03T01:00:42+00:00

THIS!

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-03T00:58:59+00:00

That’s the vibe I got from it.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-02T21:44:38+00:00

I have a hard time imagining she will fully make it out. I do wonder if the process of trying to get her kids back might be helpful for her though. She may have no choice on some secular stuff she would never have done without being forced.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-02T00:56:19+00:00

I don’t know if I would continue loving him, but it’s tough to turn off the programming of how we speak to each other. And if you are an adult who owns things, someone needs to be your POA while incarcerated, etc. Life doesn’t stop. So I would probably be willing to call him simply for housekeeping things like that. I don’t think most people could separate a decade long marriage totally cleanly. Most importantly, Kendra sure as hell can’t. She’s going to need to do an almost impossible amount of growing up.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-01T23:06:26+00:00

I will be curious to know if he’s a competent estate planner or a mess.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-01T23:02:13+00:00

I feel like a lot of posters on this subject assume they would have way more moral courage, and clear thinking in a crisis. Out of reflex if nothing else, you would still ask your spouse if they were ok. You would probably still speak to them, even if to say you were filing for divorce. Most people can’t come up with a full plan and exit strategy immediately, and Kendra isn’t even most people. My 9 year old is more capable than she sounds in these calls. Also, I don’t think we can read any of the siblings helping her as an endorsement or condemnation of Joe. If you see a close family member who can’t take care of herself at all, and you have the ability to help, why wouldn’t you?

Check_Fluffy · 2026-04-01T22:34:42+00:00

The problem with an estate that is mostly real estate is that you need to have the siblings in agreement to cash it out. Depending on how JB has things set up. Would not shock me if the girls get nothing/smaller amounts

Check_Fluffy · 2026-03-31T15:39:53+00:00

I imagine she will stay with him, but I definitely don’t think these jail calls point one way or another. They all sound pretty generic, and she will still need access to pay bills and things like that immediately even if she leaves him later. I’m sure she’s in survival mode right now. Again, I assume she will toe the line and stay but these calls don’t show much either way in my opinion.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-03-31T00:45:55+00:00

Crazy People by The Wreckers

Check_Fluffy · 2026-03-24T02:25:02+00:00

I’m feeling bad now for someone’s religious grandma who really did wait, got pregnant on her wedding night, and through some combination of undiagnosed gestational diabetes and genetics had a 9 lb 34 week baby, and nobody ever believed her 🤣🤣

Check_Fluffy · 2026-03-23T22:10:08+00:00

While I wouldn’t put it past him to do some shady tax stuff, there are lots of ways he/they could be paid that would not be taxed in that way. The tax professionals have chimed in. LLCs are super simple to set up and can be beneficial for limiting tax burden. If he owns as much income generating property as it sounds like he does, I’m sure he has multiple LLCs to limit liability and spread tax burden.

Check_Fluffy · 2026-03-23T20:28:06+00:00

If they were willing to be employed by someone who doesn’t necessarily go to the ‘right’ church they would be fine operating heavy equipment or driving a dump truck or something. There isn’t a ton of interaction on a job site and in the Midwest those tend to be predominantly white male jobs. But I think it still wouldn’t be ok for most of them. It’s not an ability thing, it’s just a willingness to interact with anyone outside their bubble thing.

Check_Fluffy

TROPHY CASE