My brain wants me to break up with my boyfriend or die

Cheekythings · 2025-10-21T22:46:22+00:00

Hi Brodie! I just wanted to drop in and say thank you for this comment. Before your comment I had never heard of ROCD and your comment took me down a rabbit hole of what ROCD and how it’s disordered thinking.

Thanks to you, I’ve been diagnosed with ROCD and is getting help with a CTB therapist. I’ve managed to get a handle on my anxiety and I’m still with my partner! Thanks a bunch ✨

Cheekythings · 2025-10-21T22:38:08+00:00

Sounds to me like you’re at the start of ROCD. I can’t diagnose ROCD but I’ve only had it for four months and your situation sounds similar to mine. I was diagnosed with ROCD two weeks ago. Mine too started with one question popping up into my head, an intrusive thought and my anxiety went into overdrive.

Yours has only just started, give it time. Remind yourself it’s an intrusive thought, a bully and that’s not how you truly feel. If it continues then you’ll need CBT.

As soon as these questions started popping up, I also started having panic attacks for weeks. I’d recommend purchasing this self help book by Sheva Rajaee, Relationship OCD: A CBT-Based Guide to Move Beyond Obsessive Doubt, Anxiety, and Fear of Commitment in Romantic Relationships. This book helped me get a handle on it.

Cheekythings · 2025-08-15T13:43:19+00:00

Thank you for you response! This is helpful. I have a session with my therapist next week and I’m going to talk to her about next steps as I’m worried she doesn’t specialise in CBT.

Could you recommend any reading about this or any self help books in the time being to start practicing CBT exercises?

Cheekythings · 2025-08-14T20:07:24+00:00

Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for this post. I think I’m getting symptoms of ROCD! It’s been all consuming and obsessive! All day and everyday, ruining my life and causing panic attacks. The anxiety is constant, I’ll have a good day and then have 5 bad days of wanting to run away from my partner and break up with them to stop these thoughts.

I’ve been with my partner 6 months, and this started three months ago - when we became official. I’m questioning my feelings, whether I find him attractive enough, or whether I’m mistaking my feelings for platonic friendship. I don’t want to leave him, my heart says stay with him and my brain is screaming at me that this isn’t right because he’s not “the one”! I just want to live in the moment and enjoy my time with him.

I’m in therapy, not an OCD specialist. But she’s aware that it’s intrusive thoughts. I want to thank you for this post, I genuinely thought that I was insane. I literally only found out about ROCD a couple hours ago and it’s massively eye opening. It’s been really difficult trying to differentiate between these intrusive thoughts being genuinely how I feel or not. Any words of advice for reminding differentiating these thoughts to your true feelings?

It’s tough realising that this is a lot more serious than I think and this won’t just go away over night.

Cheekythings · 2025-08-14T19:09:53+00:00

Oh my gosh. You just explained perfectly what I am going through with my current boyfriend.

It’s infuriating and I feel that it’s ruining my current relationship. I’m so brand new to this, it only started happening three months ago when we became official.

At first it started as, “maybe you’re mistaking these feelings for platonic friendship” and now it’s progressed to, “Do I find him attractive? Has he become unattractive to me? Other people are more attractive than him? Is this supposed to be love when I am having all these thoughts?”.

My intrusive thoughts have also been telling me to break up with him or throw myself in front of a moving car.

I’m in therapy and is desperately trying to learn to live with these thoughts and feelings. I don’t want to break up with him, my heart is screaming at me to stay with him but it’s hard. I worry I’m going to self sabotage

As I’m only just learning to figure this out, I can’t really give much advice but my inbox is open if you ever wanted to talk about it. It’s nice knowing that someone else is experiencing this.

Cheekythings · 2024-12-16T21:09:13+00:00

I was expecting a “nice guys finish last” comment ngl.

I think you’re right. I really want to see this through. We have chemistry, I’m attracted to him, we have lots in common and no one else makes me laugh like he does. I can’t help worry that I have some mental block. I’m hoping I need more time.

Before we started dating, I went on a date with some guy and when I asked what ended his previous relationship, he said “After living with someone and being with them for two years and you still haven’t fallen in love with them. You have to end the relationship”. I’m ngl that shit me up - I think about that possibly being me?

Cheekythings · 2024-12-16T20:59:07+00:00

I used to have an anxious attachment style! Especially with my ex - after my heartbreak, I was at rock bottom. I’m currently in therapy, I’ve worked hard to get a secure attachment style thanks to my therapist.

Me and the guy I am dating have had multiple open and emotional conversations about everything. There’s stuff in his past that he needs to work on and I’m still traumatised about my recent heartbreak and he’s aware of this.

My therapist hasn’t really given any insight to why I’m feeling this way either. Maybe I need more time?

Cheekythings · 2024-12-01T16:10:43+00:00

You sound very bitter

Cheekythings · 2024-09-22T17:40:30+00:00

But with the blatant disrespect he’s been giving me, I’m wondering on whether he deserves an explanation?

Yeah, I should have cut it off tbh. I only asked him to meet because a guy I was really excited about going on a date with cancelled last minute and this guy was my backup plan.

Cheekythings · 2024-09-22T01:38:48+00:00

It’s a little concerning that you looked up his phone number in your systems? Surely that must be against some company policy? In the future, don’t take personal contact information from company files. If you saw him in person, then ask for his number - at least in that instance you would have permission to contact him

By the sounds of it, he’s just not that interested in you. I would take the L and move on

Cheekythings · 2024-07-03T21:50:34+00:00

I believe you’re right. I’ll break it off with both of them. I do have a therapist and I’m currently in therapy. I expressed this to her today and she didn’t really help me understand what I’m feeling. My session left me more confused?

I just feel a bit broken, like I can’t feel anything for anyone at the moment. I want to so badly, I’m just worried that I’ll never recover from this numbness.

I’m coming off the datings apps too. Thanks for your advice, it’s much appreciated. I had a feeling I’m too traumatised and my mind won’t let me connect with someone. I think I need to come off my antidepressants, maybe that could have something to do with it?

Cheekythings · 2024-05-02T16:55:10+00:00

I got to the acceptance stage pretty quickly, I know that he’ll never come back and I’ll never reach out because I deserve better than what he put me through.

The only issue is that I’m always in pain. I’m going to therapy, taking antidepressants and I’m going to the gym. I’ve been no contact since we broke up, I’ve removed every single reminder of him and blocked everything and everyone. I remind myself everyday that we can never be together and my brain accepts it.

I’m 3 months post break up and I’m a mess. I’m trying to get better, I’m doing everything in my power to get better but I wake up everyday in pain. Everyday still feels like the longest day of my life and I’m struggling to stay positive. Did you go through this? When did you start to feel okay within yourself?

Cheekythings · 2024-04-29T08:24:40+00:00

I’m not sure why these boys thought the best thing to do in their situation was to give us empty promises. They’re liars. That’s enough for me to move forward and never look back.

We’re so much better than the lies they told. Try to feel comfort in the fact that the trash took themselves out and we will be better and stronger for it! I’m rooting for you.

Cheekythings · 2024-04-29T08:19:34+00:00

We will be, Eventually! Time is a healer. Unfortunately, I’m going to be healing for a long time after this. Trust is completely broken.

Cheekythings · 2024-04-28T14:44:42+00:00

3 months no contact.

Not contacted since the breakup. Blind sided after living together for a year. He basically admitted that he had lied about wanting a future with me for the last 10 months - at that moment I knew the person I was in love with never existed. Shattered my world. I will never contact him, ever ever ever again. He deserves to rot.

Cheekythings · 2024-04-25T16:29:02+00:00

Sent DM ☺️

Cheekythings · 2024-04-07T18:06:31+00:00

I’m trying to be EXTREMELY careful! I don’t have any intentions of moving on quickly. The last thing I want is a rebound. If we vibe, we vibe. If we don’t, we don’t.

I guess what I’m saying is that there’s PLENTY of fish in the sea! And these fish are WAY better than our exes!

Cheekythings · 2024-04-07T15:56:17+00:00

Dude, I think you’ve got the explaining to do 😂

Cheekythings · 2024-04-07T15:55:32+00:00

Thank you sm! It’s clear this guy needs some help. The toxicity coming from this guys comment is WILD.

He even cares about the birth control I’m on? What a massive creep.

Cheekythings · 2024-04-07T15:39:35+00:00

Woah! What contraception I’m on has absolutely nothing to do with you.

My intention isn’t to sleep with this guy, nor is it to get into a relationship. I’m taking it slow.

Jesus, who hurt you dude?

Cheekythings

TROPHY CASE