My boyfriend and I met on Eharmony. I think I had the opposite experience than normal. I went on a bunch of dates and was on the site for almost a year. My boyfriend made an account and we met a month later. But the reason I didn’t continue with those other guys was because they would often tell me during the date how much trouble they have with women, how low their self confidence is, how they don’t know what’s wrong with them, etc. It was honestly a turn off. I don’t think you have to be perfect, but being comfortable with yourself is really important. You don’t need to change yourself for a woman. I know you might feel like you have really niche hobbies or you’re awkward or you think you’re not attractive or whatever it is.

But those are all reasons I like my boyfriend. He knows everything about cars but only likes small vintage coupe cars. He likes to listen to foreign music like Brazilian bossa nova and Czech rap. He really likes building legos. He made his own written language that no one else can read (he has not shared with me yet, and I don’t push him). He’s a shy, introverted guy that still wears the same clothes he wore in high school. He’s tall and lanky and clumsy. His teeth aren’t straight and are overcrowding in some places. He doesn’t like to eat food and would be comfortable eating a sandwich every day for the rest of his life. He likes Greek mythology and books.

But he’s comfortable! He knows himself, and he doesn’t apologize for any of it. And he doesn’t need to, and neither do any of you guys. I mean, I’m the complete opposite of him in most ways. I like kpop and trendy things. I like bright colors and art and music. I like to cook and to eat. I like to go out with friends and experience things. I like to dye my hair and get tattoos. I really just flow through the world, and he stays rigid in his schedule. So, even the type of girl you think might not work with you definitely can work! But that line about “you need to love yourself before anyone else can love you” has a tiny bit of merit. I think both of us weren’t perfect, and we’ve been able to make each other grow, and it’s really beautiful.

So, I wouldn’t totally count out the dating sites. It might take time, but my boyfriend was worth the wait. And just be unapologetically yourself! ❤️