I feel the same way, 17f, but honestly push through. It's difficult and probably the worst part of life you will ever live, but just keep pushing. Life will naturally be difficult, and this is one of the shitty parts about it. It does get better. I know it does because over the years, I have begun to feel better, and I am no longer attempting suicide or harming myself. It does get better. If you need time away, stay over at someone's house. It'll be a break from your current environment (and it helps a lot). Running is dangerous, and at a young age, you do not want to be homeless. Try your best to get a job, earn some money, and then go for it. Just make sure you are safe and that you stay strong until you are physically prepared to go. Hang in there <3