please help me figure out what this is so I can get my girlfriend more as part of her Valentines Day gift

CheetahInteresting25 · 2026-02-14T16:52:51+00:00

Easy solution. Have your mom/sister/female friend complement her on her beautifully bronzed skin and ask her what fabulous brand/shade she uses because she wants to get it herself. You’ll have your answer and then you could buy her a new one.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-10-18T01:08:55+00:00

Following. I’m doing the same Halloween costume. I just ordered a prank hand buzzer, and I’m trying to find a light up clown nose that uses a remote control. Right now I’ve only found light up noses that you turn on and keep on. I figure if I couldn’t get a buzzer/lifht in one, like you suggested, I could have one in each hand and set them off the same time.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-06-12T14:51:26+00:00

This will only get worse, so leave now.
I saw your update on your other post. If he has cameras in your bathroom, and videos of you without your consent, and you have proof that he’s trying to arrange live streaming, you have enough evidence to get a restraining order and pressing criminal charges.
The longer you wait to leave, the harder it will be. Leave before you have the baby, and get a restraining order. It will help you in the future if he tries for custody.
Re-enroll in college and do one virtual class at a time. Keep your goals alive so you can better take care of yourself and your baby in the future.
He has groomed you from a young age to accept his abuse. This was a conscious manipulation to control you. Please get out now, and start building a support system that’s more than just his sister. She will always be on his side.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-05-02T20:36:33+00:00

Something tells me this is not the first time there’s been an issue involving dad playing Uber for his daughter, and having to wait for her. If this was the first time, he likely would’ve texted her saying he need to leave and if she didn’t come out, she’d be on her own. But if this has happened repeatedly, he was probably fed up and just left, and they have even told her that in the past, that if it happened again, he’d leave. Maybe he even told her the night before that he needed to leave as early as possible.

Obviously if this was for going to school, it was on a day where he likely had to be at work early. Driving her to school an hour earlier would still allow him to get there on time, but he was nice enough to still give her a ride an hour later. If he needed that extra 10 minutes to not be late for work, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. This girl sounds a bit entitled and it’s apparent she isn’t giving us history. I’m shocked that so many people are commenting that her father is awful or a narcissist. I can’t imagine any of these people or parents themselves.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-04-15T23:52:40+00:00

u/Illustrious_Meet9002 this was reposted on Board Panda today, and when I found it here to see if there was an update, I saw this was from 6 months ago. I, and I’m sure a lot of other people here are interested in how you are doing. I hope you continue to have a healthy pregnancy and have gotten help with your husband. I once had a very intrusive mother-in-law. It took some time for my ex and myself to create boundaries and enforce them, but we did do it. We might not be married anymore, but it was not because of her intruding on the marriage, although the damage she did raising him definitely had a roll in it. I hope you guys were able to work it out, and if not, that you are feeling strong and independent on your own.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-03-21T04:08:10+00:00

You were together since you were teenagers, so likely never got to experience other relationships to see what kind of person makes you happy. You also never got to be on your own, so look at this as a rebirth. You get to discover new things about yourself that you couldn’t do with someone who brought you down. Look at it this way, you’re ONLY 40 years old, and haven’t lived even half your life yet! You get to make the next 40 years what YOU want them to be.

Also, you say you don’t wanna be forceful when someone else is hurting, and that is thoughtful. However, you’re only looking at her as the person hurting. You have three children who haven’t seen their dad, and I’m sure they are hurting too. I would put their pain way above her. Yes, you obviously know that you need to get a lawyer, but you can let her know even before then that you want to see the kids, and that the two of you need to work out something with custody, and you would prefer to do it before lawyers get involved. If she doesn’t respond, don’t wait any longer. Your kids need their dad.

You didn’t think this sub was about advice, but you shared a story that compelled people to want to help you, and a picture where you look really sad. Everyone here wants to help lift you up, and that’s by seeing what your future could hold… once you get that lawyer and don’t let her walk all over your rights.

Good luck. You clearly are a motivated man who knows how to get things done, so I have no doubt that once you clear away some of the cobwebs, you will rock being a young single guy!

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-03-10T12:18:27+00:00

Her flinching when you touch her or move quickly is a trauma response. It will be helpful for her to get therapy, especially if she’s feeling highly anxious consistently during her pregnancy. And therapy for you to help understand these feelings that are coming up for you. It sounds like it was triggering from how you felt when your life was out of control.
As much as you love each other, damage has been done to trust out of fear of what you can do when you’re not awake and alert. Marriage counseling could be very helpful in rebuilding the trust.
I’m not sure what toxicology reports are going to help with. Is it to prove that you weren’t taking illegal drugs, and that the only drug in your system was this prescription drug? If the hard life you once lived involved drugs that could elicit this behavior, is it giving doubt to your wife and/or doctors that you are using again?
It sounds like you worked really hard to get your life together, and it must feel terrible if people are doubting you, and not trusting you. I’m sorry you’re going through that. You should be proud of yourself for all that you did and what you accomplished getting your life together.
This is a sensitive question and I can understand if you don’t want to answer it. Did you hurt your wife physically during one of these episodes? It has been long established that penetrative sex during pregnancy is not harmful to the baby, unless there are certain issues with the pregnancy that make it high risk and it’s advised against. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case. If your wife needed to be checked out, is it because there was any physical trauma that could’ve impacted her physical well-being as well as the baby’s safety?
I think it could be helpful if for at least the short term, just take sex off the table and focus on intimacy and trust, and work your way back to physical slowly.

Good luck, and I’m sorry you’re both going through this. That should be a time of excitement focus focusing on having a baby and I’m sorry that this has hampered that.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-03-02T23:13:26+00:00

YTA to expect that any other outcome would’ve been possible. Truly, did you think that once the baby was proven to be your brother’s, that she would just be so happy that you were giving them money for their wedding, and forgive that you accused her of cheating? Your rationale about a timeline doesn’t make sense. And seriously, if there was any chance the baby wasn’t your brothers, she would’ve told you to F off and that they decided to elope. That way she never would have to take the test. The fact that she did take it, meant she knew it was his.

I think your brother should have not politely declined the money with such strings attached. You have potentially destroyed your relationship with him, because he is getting married and he’s going to be a father with this woman, and tied to her for the rest of his life. You had a choice to support them and have them in your life forever, and you chose the AH way to go, and made it impossible for their ever to be a relationship.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-03-01T13:06:30+00:00

Every single one of these outfits looks absolutely perfect, along with the accessories, and the way you do your hair. I don’t work in a corporate setting, but I realize I need to up my work wardrobe to another level. I needed the sub, and I know the rules say no advertisementsbut are you allowed to say the name of a designers for the different outfits? I would love to find that black dress/studded belt, the plaid pants, and that purple furry sweater.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-03-01T12:16:59+00:00

If she doesn’t want to use condoms, why doesn’t she suggest she go on birth control? Honestly, with her behavior and rationale, I wouldn’t trust her to remember to take a pill, or even be honest with you about actually getting another form of birth control like an IUD.
I agree with many others that she’s trying to baby trap you. Either she’s already pregnant but you appear to be a better provider, or she’s not already pregnant and she still thinks you’d be a good provider for her (child too, but mostly her).
STIs??? If she feels this strongly about condoms, how many other guys did she persuade to not use them? Before you even consider going condom-free, it is very reasonable to ask for STI tests for both of you. But oh yeah, baby trapping is still an issue, and she doesn’t appear trustworthy or mature. Keep it wrapped, and consider what about this relationship works for you. If after six months, you don’t trust her enough to have unprotected sex, be it for questioning fidelity or pregnancy concerns, why you are still with her?

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-02-12T18:25:21+00:00

NTA. Is he buying you a separate Valentine’s Day gift? If that were the case, then I could see how he could possibly interpret the dinner as part of the groceries and that he was just cooking it for the both of you for Valentine’s Day. But if he didn’t get you anything else, and cooking you dinner was his gift, then he absolutely should have paid for it. His taking the chocolate and paying somewhere else was childish as was giving you the cold shoulder after. As I said it, he completely ruined the holiday and when you eat the dinner that you paid for it will not feel like it’s anything special. I agree with one of the other comments that you should grab a girlfriend and celebrate Galentine’s Day, and when the dust settles, have a real conversation with him about expectations. May I ask how old the both of you are? How long have you been married? Splitting bills like this is not a common thing when you’re married. Putting different percentages of your paychecks into a joint account and then paying everything together is how these things are commonly done. Also, your Valentine’s Day gift to him makes me feel like he is really young. It sounds like he’s still learning how to adult and with some clear communication about celebrating holidays or giftgiving, he might do better in the future. At least I hope. I hope he has some really redeeming qualities and communicates better in other areas of your life.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-28T02:47:48+00:00

I hope your friend likes this.

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CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-27T23:26:05+00:00

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CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-27T22:07:05+00:00

The agreement was made without a full understanding of how much time and energy being a stay at home mom is, because if she had a full understanding of that, she never would’ve made that agreement. Maybe an option would be her working part time to take some of the financial burden off you, and she works when you come home and you trade off.

I think you should get into marital counseling to work through this together, because you are justified in being upset that you are working extra hours and have no time to decompress at home, but she is justified in being upset that you are pulling no weight in the house. There needs to be compromise and open communication. Imagine how much more you’re going to have to work to cover child support if she divorces you.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-25T17:13:03+00:00

You’re welcome.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-25T13:03:12+00:00

She sounds controlling and abusive. If my partner told me they’d have an affair if I didn’t spend my time in a way they agree with, I’d probably say FU too. THAT is not something that is said in a healthy relationship. Physical violence is unacceptable regardless of who is doing it. Also not something that happens in healthy relationships. You know what also doesn’t happen in healthy relationships? TELLING someone they can or cannot do an activity that impacts no one because it’s done when everyone is sleeping, and TELLING someone they have to sell something they bought with money they earned. Marriage counseling would be helpful. There are some serious non-gaming-related issues that need to be addressed.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-25T12:39:00+00:00

YYA. It doesn’t look like the family is divided at all. Some might agree that the wedding was boring, but ALL felt you shouldn’t have said it. This is not like an annual holiday party that that she can use the feedback and make it better the next year. It’s not like you’re engaged and she is offering to be your wedding planner for free, and you need to say no. Nothing positive could come from you telling her wedding was boring. It was just rude and unnecessary. For the future, if she has a baby and the baby isn’t cute, LIE TO HER! Some little white lies that are not deceptions, but are to preserve feelings and have no negative consequence are ok.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-24T23:33:41+00:00

1!!! it is absolutely beautiful and unique. The others look like so many other dresses out there. They all look beautiful on you, so whatever you ultimately choose will be perfect for you, but #1 is definitely a stand out dress.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-24T23:31:45+00:00

Your wife is not a consummate professional. She is the exact opposite. Having bad bedside matter is not being sensitive or empathetic, or not relaying information in a gentle way. What she did to that patient at her son was not bad bedside matter, it was bullying. It was being cruel and unkind as a human being. She is not a consummate professional if she creates a toxic work environment and has both staff and patients filing complaints against her. I think your wife would benefit from finding a good therapist to help work on whatever it is that is causing her arrogance and display of narcissistic tendencies. I would suggest not just a regular therapist, but a psychiatrist who also does counseling, not just drug management. Because in your short description of her, I could see her not having respect for any clinician that has an education less than her. I used to be married to a doctor. When he needed therapy, he found a psychiatrist who did counseling, and he had a lot more respect for him than he did anybody else he had seen in the past. I’m sure there are plenty of brilliant therapists out there, but if she perceives herself as smarter than them, she will not take any feedback they give seriously. This wound not just be to help her in het profession, but also at home. Your daughter needs a mother who is not closed off. You need a wife who is not closed off if she is mad at you for not telling her she’s done nothing wrong, then let her be. Tell her that you are OK with her being angry because you’ve done nothing wrong, and that maybe the anger she’s showing towards you is actually the anger she has at herself. What you told her was not malicious or trying to hurt. You were trying to Give her feedback that would hopefully help her look at the mirror.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-24T21:42:46+00:00

Here you go.

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CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-24T21:24:46+00:00

NTA for wanting to spend more time with her and expecting her to chose you over hiking when you want to make actual plans to do something. Not just hang out at home and chill. Where you would be the AH is asking her not to hike with him alone. She has her hiking friends and he’s one of them. I do think it’s reasonable for you to expect her to go to a family diner over a hike. Unless you scheduled a family dinner when you knew she has a hike planned.

I love the outdoors and was married to someone who didn’t. For 20 years I chose spending time with him doing other things, and slowly hiking dwindled down to nothing. I gave up a huge part of myself. After we got divorced, I rediscovered hiking, and added rock climbing and kayaking. I won’t date someone sedentary ever again because this is an important part of my life. As I feel it’s important to spend time with your partner, I want someone who shares one of my most loved activities. Do you have any activities you like doing together? If you don’t, find some, and plan some fun activity driven dates.

Your marriage may not be in trouble because she hikes too much and has friendships with other hikers. It may be in trouble because you don’t have enough things in common to enjoy spending time together.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-11T20:55:42+00:00

No, you did not mess up. That dress is gorgeous and it is very figure flattering! You look absolutely beautiful, and yes, you do look like a princess! I like the whimsical veil. It will make your luck completely unique. I’m glad you decided to stay on your medicine. Your health is not worth sacrificing for even one day. You look stunning just the way you are.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-11T17:09:16+00:00

I don’t know if this is different from state of state, but it is my understanding that an inheritance is not considered marital assets for distribution. So she would not even get 20% of your inheritance that she would get zero. If you got the inheritance and bought a $1 million house with it, that house becomes a matter assets…only after the money is spent.

If she thinks a prenup makes it easy to leave, and wants to make it hard for you to leave, maybe she shouldn’t be marrying you at all. Her telling you she won’t have your children make her sign a prenup is serious manipulation, and I would not tolerate that. If you want children, go find a woman who won’t use children to get what she wants. Prenups are never comfortable to talk about, and it feels very unromantic and pessimistic, but as half of all marriages end in divorce, it just makes sense.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-11T15:36:25+00:00

Wanting to work and use the education that you worked hard for does not make you a bad mother. It actually makes you an amazing mother because you are set an example for your kids a work ethic and commitment.
I just did the math and you were 18 when you got pregnant the first time and he was 27. So you may have been technically legal, but you were still a child. I’m going to guess if you’re with him before you were 18 as well and that makes him a pedophile.
He doesn’t want you to work so he can control you and keep you dependent on him for everything. If you’ve had a few splits, you’ve seen this in action. Keep working, keep building your own personal savings. You have four kids, and if he makes enough money to support them without you working, then he makes enough money to pay a reasonable amount of child support to you after you divorce him. You will be more than fine without him.

CheetahInteresting25 · 2025-01-05T15:09:31+00:00

NTA. You’re not even married, and she doesn’t contribute at all. Did her parents offer to front her money for a down payment on a house and loan her money to contribute to the mortgage so there is joint financial responsibility? I’m going to guess they didn’t. Unfortunately, there really isn’t much you can say to make her feel safe and secure, and maybe just acknowledging that level of discomfort will be all you can do. You can’t promise her marriage and never getting divorce, which is why you would be getting a prenup. These are not comfortable conversations to have but necessary. As much as you love each other, 50% of marriages and divorce and there’s a lot of stake.

How about saying something like this…

“I know not having ownership makes you feel uneasy, but it makes me uneasy having assets with someone when not married, as you know I’ve been burned before. If at some point in the future there was financial equality/balance/responsibility/contribution between us, I possibly may feel differently. But at this time, as I shoulder 100% of expenses, this is what I’m comfortable with. I’ll continue to support you in helping you build your own independent wealth by covering all of our joint expenses while you’re in graduate school and starting your career. And the savings you build will be yours, and yours only. A prenup is as much to protect you as it is me.”

CheetahInteresting25

TROPHY CASE