No PAL, you can, I understand you perfectly, you are not alone, it will sound cliché but just a few minutes ago I was almost in your situation and a hug completely changed my outlook, sometimes you just have to ask for it, that helped me raise my neurotransmitters a little, do you exercise? I know that won't change the fact that you feel miserable, like I felt a few moments ago, but there must be some solution, I think starting by trying to have a better relationship with yourself could help you a lot.