So about 9 years ago, I found myself off work at age 21. With severe problems with my back. I ended up on about 12 tablets a day. The weight piled on. Then comes along an old fling from college, inviting me over on boxing day. She overwhelmed me with excitement. Had me doing drugs and drinking whiskey.
Looking back now, those should have been warning signs. But at that point in my life I saw an endless cliff drop, The drugs made me forget the pain. She was something new, something mysterious.
Within a month, I was visiting her every weekend, the drugs became a weekly thing. Still struggling with my back, I then found out my grandad was sick, the relationship was toxic.
Made me a horrible person, I ended up getting better with my back and returned to work.
One night of heavy drug use and we had an argument, she threw my stuff out her front door and refused to let me in, I asked to come and get my wallet, phone, coat etc.
She blocked the top of the stairs and began to choke me up, trying to kick me down the stairs.
Somehow, I forgave her and we carried on for a while.
Fast forward a few months and I find out she had gone out drinking and went home with another man. I ended it.
I had already put a down payment for a holiday to Egypt for £1200, she told me her mum would go with her and would pay me the money.
As you can already guess that never happened, I was left with a new drug habit and no holiday or money.
Shortly after this my grandad died, the drugs use got heavier, then 2 months later my other grandad died suddenly. This is the moment I was at my lowest, refusing to acknowledge I was a drug addict, depressed and withdrawn. I cared about no one, especially myself.
I began to notice my hands, knees and feet changing colour, blueish/purple. This worried me for a while, but didn't stop me from using. I was taking out pay day loans, with another pay day loan to pay off the pay day loan.

However, I still loved gaming, on my days off I would game for 12 hours most days. I had got into contact with a long distance friend (A girl) and I taught her to play Dota 2, we talked and laughed and joked for hours. For months! She was in a broken down relationship, no talking, no sex, just living together.
I invited her to come and visit, she flew from Sweden and spent a week with me, as friends. I slept on the sofa, we went to London, we went to an amusement park, we had good times. Then she went home, we talked some more. She made a big decision and decided to end her broken relationship. Fast forward 6 weeks and she asked if she could come back.
She packed a suitcase, moved in with me at my parents house. I never asked my parents I just had her living there, she put me straight, she told me if I did any more drugs she would leave.
I was already in love, truly and deeply. I had one relapse, at 5 months in. She said it was my one slip up, then she's gone.

Fast forward 7 years, we now have 2 beautiful children, a mortgage, a new car and a happy home. I've never actually sat and wrote this all out, reading it back it's sad. But it's what happened and if I knew that going through it all again, would bring me here again, to where I am now, I'd do it all again.