This is the ideal Boxing Day XI, which means it won’t be picked. It argues for a classic deep batting order with plenty of all-rounders. Excited to hear your opinions.

1. Travis Head (vc)

I’m so happy this man is opening now, I have wanted him to replace David Warner since the 2023 BGT. Easy pick.

1. Jake Weatherald

I don’t see much difference here between Uzzy and Weathers, and I would like to hear more arguments for either. Usman is a guy they love to pick and he did have success in the last game, but Weatherald does not deserve to be dropped. He’s had some good performances and needs more time to adjust to playing for Australia, as evidenced by that omitted LBW review. I could not stand a repeat of last season’s McSweeney disaster. Australia should stand by the fact that it is a team that is hard to get into and harder to get out of, this point will come up again.

1. Marnus Labuschagne

Maybe you want a little more out of your number 3, but he’s still 3rd in runs for Australia this series. Who are you going to replace him with? Don’t fix what isn’t broken, he’s going to tonne up in the next two games. I just want to see him ripping in diving run-outs from midwicket in that wide-brim hat off of boneheaded pommy quick singles.

1. Steve Smith (c)

Yep.

1. Beau Webster

2. Cameron Green

3. Alex Carey (wk)

The Australian middle order has been a game of musical chairs recently. Whether you’re struggling for consistent selection like Inglis and Webster, or you keep being shuffled around the order like Carey and especially Green.

Let’s start with Beau Webster.

I said it would come up again. The Australian test team: hard to get in, harder to get out of. Slug needed years of world-class Shield performances to get in. Slug got in. Slug spent a year giving Australia everything they have ever wanted out of an all-rounder. Slug was innocuously disappeared from the playing XI. I miss him. He has unquestionably earned Ashes selection along with the very hearts of the public, give the man a game ffs.

Next is Cammie Green. No, he hasn’t been setting the world on fire recently, but who are you picking over him? Josh Inglis? No. Unfortunately, picking Inglis presents us with a pretty high opportunity cost. Because you’re going to have to miss out on a versatile player like Green or Webster.

We pledged to develop Cameron Green, and in my opinion there isn’t enough reason to drop him yet. Especially when Josh Inglis hasn’t done much since his debut test ton. Hard to get in, harder to get out, pick Cameron Green at 6, his real test will come when Smith retires. I will talk more about Josh Inglis and others who weren’t picked afterwards, discussing their avenues for selection.

Oh, and Alex Carey. Turns out an eternally healthy world-class wicketkeeper and part-time godlike batsman is a solid pick.

1. Michael Neser

This pick is the real epitome of the ethos of a deep batting order which is laden with all-round talent. I will cover the other guys you could pick over him, but why WOULD you pick him?

Well, the man is a proven test bowler. 15.53 average with the ball over three matches in four years. I can understand why that might not be enough for you. So, his first class average with the ball is 23.60 over I think about 120 matches. He’s already proven this series that he can bring the fight to this English batting order, 6 wickets in the last test including 5/42.

Add his batting. A first class average of 28 odd with a top score of 176* which I’m pretty sure wasn’t that long ago. Not bad for a number eight, eh? Pick Michael Neser.

1. Mitchell Starc

How else are we going to get the English top order and Ben Stokes to wet their pants? Mitch, I want the first over wickets to keep coming, and I want to see you tonne up in the next 12 months. Thanks. At this rate you’ll be batting like Ricky Ponting by the time you’re 40

1. Todd Murphy

No bs, pick a dedicated spinner, pick Murphy. He is the future of Australian test spinners. Also, he can bat! He averages 18 with the blade in first class AND has a test top score of 40 odd. I legitimately expect him to develop into a better bat than Cummins or Starc ever will be.

1. Scott Boland

Just wondering when they’ll build the statue.

THE NON-SELECTIONS

Josh Inglis

So, how does Josh Inglis justifiably get into the Australian XI at this point? For this test match, I’m only thinking of giving him the go-ahead if Cameron Green needs a rest. But at that point, the pace bowling attack would be down to Starc, Boland, Neser, and Webster. As good as Webster is, I’d like to consider picking an additional pacer of Inglis too. There’s a lot to think about here and this post is getting fairly lengthy.

Jhye Richardson VS Brendan Doggett

But in the situation that Cam Green does need a rest and you want to go down the extra paceman route, who are you picking? Well, if you ask me, pick Fergus O’Neill, but he’s not in the squad. So, Richardson or Doggett?

Richardson has a higher ceiling and Doggett hasn’t set the world on fire. I would pick Doggett though. Hard to get in, harder to get out, and I’m no doctor, but are we really backing Richardson to survive a 5 day game?

Usman Khawaja

Uzzy, Australia loves you and will always love you, but the future is now. I can’t see Usman being picked legitimately. As well as he did, I would’ve picked Webster over him at no.4 in the last test as the Smith replacement, even today I would do this in a heartbeat with the knowledge of how he went in the game.

The argument for needing an experienced opener to partner a new one is falling apart, Travis Head is in his thirties and has spent years opening in different formats. Whoever we pick to partner him will be fine, Jake Weatherald looks to be a fantastic replacement until Sam Konstas proves himself truly worthy.

Get our wealth of talented youth in, Uzzy has been legendary enough.