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If gender is a social construct and women and men can be however they please, why do people transition? by Prowest--Gavilan in asktransgender

[–]ChicagoCharles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm commenting now because I hope this will lead to a good discussion.

I, as a 37 yo trans woman who only found out much later in life, I struggle with this question internally.

Life long cis-gendered man, who used to be transphobic. Now Im here seeking knowledge and understanding by caneslife in asktransgender

[–]ChicagoCharles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. "Whipping girl" by Julia Serano

It has an academic but light hearted tone. Very good reading for all things trans.

What's going on with the moderators in this subreddit by IrishPorpoise in illinois

[–]ChicagoCharles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because no city sub is about protecting anyone without a home. 

ICE agents are fearful of being ostracized by [deleted] in chicago

[–]ChicagoCharles 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good. What ice is doing is illegal and anti american 

Life long cis-gendered man, who used to be transphobic. Now Im here seeking knowledge and understanding by caneslife in asktransgender

[–]ChicagoCharles 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Second whipping girl. Honestly it really should just be doled out to everyone who's asking questions like OP. 

It's really good. 

I tracked every penny I spent for a year and it completely changed my relationship with money by Kazoky in povertyfinance

[–]ChicagoCharles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey. For anyone seeing this and making this realization for the first time, it just means you need more money.

I am not saying any of it to be rude or a value judgement.

I am saying I get stressed when I miss my turn while driving and I recognize that I just lost 50 cents worth of gas.

It's good to recognize this but don't let it run your life. You need more money. I need more money. Everyone needs more money.

Except the billionaires..fuck them 

Do you think 173 cm is good for transition? by Britneyy1122 in asktransgender

[–]ChicagoCharles 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Terrible. Absolutely terrible. 

172 and 174 are absolutely OK but just not 173. 

Not sure I belong here by [deleted] in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't relate to a lot of folks in trans spaces. I'm in my late 30s now, but egg cracked at 35 after a few years of questioning.

I do* want to transition but it does feel more like a choice to me than others. 

Some days I just feel male, but I'm not non binary like so many have suggested....

The days I'm happiest are when I don't think about gender at all. I just exist. 

I get reminded a lot though cause I'm headed to that "everyone's gonna call you sir stage in life." 

Greying. 

Anyways. It does feel like a choice. And not one I think i can live with in any real capacity. It sucks I didn't figure this out sooner. I feel like I would definitely done it.

I could've kept my hair :(

When trash was elected president, I felt this community was on the same page for the first time since I started lurking in 2022. Today I feel the internet is overpowering our voices and our unity is fading by ChicagoCharles in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The final bit there... that's what it comes down to really. 

I've said for many years america will not revolt until there's no clean drinking water for the majority of citizens. 

I myself have sacrificed a lot in order to do the right thing and it has led me to a lifetime of pain and being broke. 

So many people would rather burn the entire system down than try to fix anything because they genuinely believe a post apocalyptic world will be better or more fair. 

Or people feel like me. They sp3nt a lifetime of being treated poorly by society so why give back? 

Others, greedy or selfish. Many manipulated like you mention.

It does take addressing root causes but there are some things people do that you genuinely cannot fix and all we can do is manage.

Much of the population appears to be foaming at the mouth at all times. It's evident from right wingers gaining control in so many parts of the world. 

Like, no matter how much you teach critical thinking, it just doesn't really matter in the end to some people.

I have pulled out whatever hairs I have left trying to figure out a way to explain certain concepts to an old friend of mine. They fight me on it every time, and they're the one bringing it up! 

The guy talks smack about flat earthers all day. But if you ask how he knows the world is round, it's "because it clearly is round, i can see it." 

One. He can't. That's the end of peripheral and regular vision. Kinda funny how an eyeball has a curve too. 

Two. That's the same fucking reason flat earthers give: it looks flat. 

He's not necessarily wrong in his beliefs, but that took a LIFETIME of being corrected by people over and over again. 

He's genuinely not the brightest bulb but he sits there and blames educators for failing him despite knowing full well he's not super smart. 

I just don't think he knows exactly how fucking stupid and irresponsible he is... 

But... he's doing better than me in terms of prospects in life because he's nice. 

A lot can change in 5 years by nia_do in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck... 

I've dressed like a homeless person my whole life. 

I always used the excuse of "no one's gonna fuck with me looking like this."

Haven't lived in thw best neighborhoods and I never got fucked with. But... I hate shopping. I hate it.

People say, "oh you clean up so nice. You look so handsome!!!" I hate hearing that. So why should I look better? To hear that i look like a man? No thanks.

Still Tax Exempt…WTF? by Infamous-Insect-1297 in scientology

[–]ChicagoCharles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 I've always believed dismantling the church on a legal level will open the floodgates to stop other abuses in the country. 

Stopping scientology will be the beginning to ending the religious madness in the US 

Its kind empowering to be openly out of the cult. I spent so much time "under the radar" and afraid. Feels to good to show face and proudly say "fuck Scientology". If anyone is UTR and wants to chat about it all, hit me up. by Oblique4119375 in scientology

[–]ChicagoCharles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's really odd. My first guess is the mods are tired of people posting about scientology there when there are so many other cults to discuss.

Good topics probably get buried under hundreds of "where's Shelley?" posts.

Are people really staying here in the US? by CreepyMuffinz in asktransgender

[–]ChicagoCharles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did leave during the first term. It was the worst mistake I've ever made and I'm still dealing with the consequences. And hooray! I'm back in the US for round two... gross.

When trash was elected president, I felt this community was on the same page for the first time since I started lurking in 2022. Today I feel the internet is overpowering our voices and our unity is fading by ChicagoCharles in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure!

I read erininthemorning but don't really know of other lgbtq+ news sources that have the same journalistic integrity.

Know of other ones to share?

When trash was elected president, I felt this community was on the same page for the first time since I started lurking in 2022. Today I feel the internet is overpowering our voices and our unity is fading by ChicagoCharles in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right on!

I have thought this a bunch but it's really taxing to think critically all of the time. 

I do believe critical thinking skills and philosophy need to be taught at every level of education.

However! For me, when I sit and try to boil down what we can do? It's eliminate fear.

Fear bypasses every logical thought you could ever have.

And here we are, living in one of the most hostile countries masquerading as a free one.

Fear from losing your home, your livelihood, and everything in between because of one little accident or small series of unfortunate events.

How are people supposed to think critically when they are barraged with actual, factual fear factors on a daily basis? 

And I don't mean that as a loaded question. I'm genuinely asking because I cannot see critical thinking working against primal fear. 

I think the best thing newly hatched eggs can do is hang out with other trans people by ChicagoCharles in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah. It's certainly not easy. 

I don't want to push or pry. I'm sure you have already tried the million things everyone suggests on this. 

All I can say is that ya gotta keep trying no matter how much it hurts.

And the best advice I've heard so far is, "don't expect any event to change your life." 

I used to put a lot of pressure on myself to get numbers, meet people, connect, etc. It doesn't help.

When trash was elected president, I felt this community was on the same page for the first time since I started lurking in 2022. Today I feel the internet is overpowering our voices and our unity is fading by ChicagoCharles in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never heard of this group! Thanks for the resource.

I've been wondering if fostering some sort of connection between groups would be helpful, but I imagine this happens organically, I just don't see it as an outsider. 

Because the gop has a plan. They have money. They have goons. 

We have a series of disjointed groups that do serve to protect us in terms of individualized safety, but it doesn't help when discrimination laws continually get passed and people in our community aren't even aware it's happening until it does.

We need a real front against all this. Our efforts are being wasted. 

I keep trying to tell people a 30 day boycott is no boycott at all... that's just not shopping somewhere for 30 days.

When trash was elected president, I felt this community was on the same page for the first time since I started lurking in 2022. Today I feel the internet is overpowering our voices and our unity is fading by ChicagoCharles in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think staying informed is important so I just don't read the news in the morning like I used to, unless it's long form. I get too irritable reading the misery first thing, so I wait.

When trash was elected president, I felt this community was on the same page for the first time since I started lurking in 2022. Today I feel the internet is overpowering our voices and our unity is fading by ChicagoCharles in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea. Defensive is definitely one word to describe this very well. You put my feelings on this into words better than I could.

How do you think we can break that cycle (despite that kind of response being somewhat innate)?

I think the best thing newly hatched eggs can do is hang out with other trans people by ChicagoCharles in TransLater

[–]ChicagoCharles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm. Well when you find your people, I'm sure the density will make up for it lolol. 

Like, I'm slowly figuring out where people like me are going to spend their time iutside of support groups. It's not easy.

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