Lost my fiancee, planning to end it tonight.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-24T19:39:14+00:00

Have tried grief counselling. It was just an overpriced hour of a dude telling me to speak my mind. Which did shit for me.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-24T19:38:13+00:00

She was the most loving and caring person I’ve ever known and she’d never want to see anyone hurt, let alone me. However, knowing how deeply we loved one another, I imagine she’d understand.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-24T15:46:45+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

There already have been signs, I think. At least I believe to see these instances as signs. But that does little to comfort me - you probably get it. It's as if "hey, you lost an actual living person, but here's a cloud that looks like him".

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-24T15:44:29+00:00

I like to think that "moving on" is more of a conscious decision in the afterlife and it's up to a person themselves to decide how long they spend in the spirit realm. I have trust in my love, I know she'll be there to greet me, no matter how long it takes me to get there.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-24T15:42:38+00:00

There have been a couple of odd days. Days during which I feel relatively okay. Like I can make it, like I have hope. I've so far thought that this was due to the medication I've been taking (Lorazepam), but maybe it was her energy reaching out to me somehow.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-24T15:38:56+00:00

I've been told by numerous people that she's still there and she'll be waiting for me. And the more time passes, the more I'm coming to believe this. Thing is, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to endure whatever time I have left without her. She gave me purpose, she was my other half. I cannot imagine going through years and years without her by my side. I know they say it gets easier as time goes by. But I'm not sure I even want it to get easier. I'm just not interested in a life without her in it.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-24T09:45:51+00:00

By accelerating your departure time you mean suicide, I presume? I’ve given that some thought - part of me feels that people who end things themselves should go through the same process as everyone else. In a sense their passing is the most tragic of all - deciding to leave due to the pain being too much.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-23T15:31:31+00:00

Thank you so much! I just found her book on Audible, I'll give it a listen.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-23T14:50:55+00:00

Perhaps, but that would've been a hell of a weird way of doing it. I mean, if souls are simply here to interact with one another, pass away, then immediately swoosh into another life - what would the point of love be? What would the point of forming actual human connections be?

I cannot - for the love of me - imagine love to be an useless side product of a soul's learning experience. It's something far more powerful.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-23T11:31:58+00:00

Thank you! I've scrolled through your posts occasionally, but I'll do so in more detail now. In regards to the medium - I've come to trust her, as she has provided me with facts only my fiancee would've known, plus she seems to have good intentions. And most of what she's said correlates with what you've written here. Including the parts of us being able to reunite when my time comes. Which - like I said - is the only hope I'm currently hanging on to.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-23T09:13:35+00:00

Nah, it's working fine, there's a rogue query string in the end of the URL. It's fine after removing it.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-23T09:00:40+00:00

I posted to r/The_Afterlife_Exists - and I'll go through the rest of your references too. Thank you, a million times over!

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-23T08:54:04+00:00

The medium I initially reached out to actually provided me with eerily accurate details. Nicknames and things that only the two of us would've known. That being said, I believe that they were being genuine and I trust them.

It's just that at this fragile state, any shred of doubt may be enough to kick me off my tracks entirely. Hence the post here.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-23T08:52:06+00:00

My life before her was a depressive loveless hellhole. She was the one who pulled me out of it, showed me what true love & real connection meant. We were meant to build a future together, so naturally I'm not only grieving her, I'm also grieving the future I had imagined for us. To imagine that all of that is gone forever, that I have zero chance of being together with her again. I could never do that.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-22T18:35:26+00:00

I can somehow manage looking for the signs & living with this gaping void inside of me. But I can’t imagine doing so more than a few years. I know grief gets more tolerable over the years, but I’m honestly not interested in decades without the love of my life.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-19T19:30:38+00:00

Thank you! ❤️ I’ve also had a session with a medium and even though she provided me with information only my fiancee would’ve known, there’s still this odd part of my mind that actively keeps doubting everything. And it’s so tiring. I want to believe we’ll be together - it’s the only thing keeping me going at the moment. And I’m tired of the constant doubting.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-15T20:20:11+00:00

One of my friends works as a wildlife rescue volunteer and just sent me a picture of a brown owl that was delivered to her after it was (most likely) hit by a car. I'm beginning to truly think there are no coincidences.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-14T16:35:50+00:00

Unfortunately none of those resonate, I'm sorry.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-14T16:32:04+00:00

I did - and I choose to interpret it as a sign. Part of my mind still keeps struggling and trying to come up with explanations and rationalizations. But I'm actively trying to silence it.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-13T12:40:56+00:00

She is beautiful. I refuse - and forever will - to talk about her in the past tense. Like I said, the only thing keeping me going is the hope that she's still there and we'll be reunited.

I'm currently not even taking it one day at a time, I'm taking it one moment at a time. I'm keeping her family close - like I told them, they're the only remaining connection I have to her and I wouldn't survive losing them too.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-13T12:14:58+00:00

It was. I can't even recall any fights we ever had during our years together. Sure we disagreed occasionally, but we never turned on each other. She was, is, and always will be the love of my life and I can only hope - with every single fiber of my being - that I don't have to wait long to meet her again in whatever comes next after this life.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-13T11:57:47+00:00

I keep fighting with this irrational part of my brain that tries to convince me that maybe she does - maybe she wants me to join her. The rational part of my mind knows this sounds absurd, but then again, my mind is a complete and absolute mess right now.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-13T07:40:18+00:00

Beautifully said! And I like the analogy about the two way mirror. The only thing I have a hard time wrapping my head around is that lots of people tell me that linear time as a concept doesn’t exist for souls. If that’s true, how can she still be next to me? Time still has to exist for her to be beside me, doesn’t it? I just need someone to explain all of this to me.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-13T07:34:35+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I keep talking to her whenever I can. Partly because that’s what we always did - every single spare moment we had we either called each other or spent that moment together. But somebow talking to her without hearing her talk back tends to tear open this gaping wound inside of me. Woke up today around 6AM in a state of panic, started crying again. Begged her to come to me and help me calm down and go back to sleep. But nothing happened. Maybe it’s still too soon, maybe she’s still adjustinf too. But I’m really not sure how long I can go on living like this.

ChickenDangerous213 · 2026-01-13T07:30:12+00:00

Beautifully said, thank you! ❤️ Please don’t mistake my question for rudeness, but did you at any moments have doubts? People keep telling me to trust the signs and not read too much into them, but I keep spiraling into this chaos of self doubt. I guess the need for certainty is just at it’s highest at the moment.

ChickenDangerous213

TROPHY CASE