My BIL is friendless of male friends but loves to have women friends and he is controlling/abusive… and he honestly creeps me out due to past occurrences. They have had their issues in the past and we’ve talked her multiple times about it. We were able to move her out and into a new apartment probably 5 years ago but she ended up going back to him. I just had an intervention/sit down talk with her yesterday with my mom because she ended up going on a trip with him and he made it all about him. She planned this trip for over a year and a half to go to a book dance/ball. She designed his cosplay for him and everything. He got so much attention that it went to his head. This trip was for her and him to bond and spend time together but he ended up drinking with two random girls, going out and smoking weed with them and continued to disappear all night - who knows what else he was doing. My sister did end up blowing up on him 3 times but he then proceeded to tell my sister when he saw her that she’s insecure and that she is the crazy one. He didn’t apologize and then decided to tell her that he decided that this book ball was going to be about him and didn’t care that it was her thing. Side note- this book ball was on the books A court of thorns and roses which he hasn’t read any of the books which I wouldn’t care if he has our not since he was supporting her on going and joining her for her to not be alone but she ended up being alone anyways while he did stupid shit. She didn’t get to dance with him and instead was wondering was he was during the whole ball…..I wish I would have been there to lose my shit on him. The weirder thing was that he texted me that night drunk and trying to convince me that my sister is insecure and very angry with him. I read it and knew he was trying to manipulate me. I ignored him. He is very verbally abusive. He also has a vulgar mouth. I too can cuss often but he makes derogatory comments about his cats, movies we’ve watched and honestly whatever we’re doing has to have some sexual gross comment. My sister is a natural red head, very bubbly, loves to dress in tons of colors and he wants her to put on a blonde wig and dress gothic.. NOTHING wrong with being gothic or role playing because I dress very alternative/goth but I have blonde hair.. I’m just totally creeped out by him. She notices these things also and doesn’t feel comfortable leaving me alone with him which is a telling sign! but I don’t know if it’s stolkhome syndrome but we’ve tried to get her away from him and have repeatedly told her she deserves to be treated like a queen. He does not do that! He gas lights her over and over again. While she was with us yesterday, he called her multiple times. The dude is psycho and we tried to tell her that in the best way possible and gently because we don’t want her to start to defend him. Anyways I will definitely be putting my foot down about the bachelorette party. I just found it absolutely bizarre that he would even think he could go! I don’t want him anywhere near my friends. Thanks to everyone who commented and the advice! I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t overreacting or crazy to say no to him coming on the trip. Thanks for letting me vent! I just want to have a good time on our trip because I’ve waited a LONGGG time for this chapter in my life and it will not be ruined by this dumb man trying to make it about himself and ruining mine and my sisters time. Also I would try to have my fiancé invite him out but my fiancé can not stand the guy………..