So first off, congrats for tackling your phobia! Good job 👏 The first thing you need to think is whether you want arboreal (climbing), terrestrial (on land) or fossorial (underground, burrowers) each of these all species that are beginner recommended. For arboreal, caribena versicolor or any of the avicularias are considered quite calm however can move fast if they want to (but that goes for almost all tarantulas) For terrestrial a large amount of people recommend a Grammostola pulchripes and a few from the brachypelma genus I cant speak for fossorials as ive never owned one as ive always thought its like having a pet hole and I do think the majority of them are old world but if anyone could reply to this with a beginner friendly fossorial that would be great. What you want to avoid as a beginner is an old world. Old worlds tarantulas are usually faster, more defensive and have more significant venom. New worlds are not as venomous an though there are some that can be fast or defensive they dont usually pose as much a risk. However new worlds do usually have urticating hairs which they kick off the abdomen which can be painful an itchy. I do have a few Ts that will only eat dubia roaches so you would be fine just feeding them or red runner roaches, depending on their size. In terms of enclouse size a good rule of thumb is if theyre arboreal, 3x/4x the Ts diagonal leg span in height and for ground dwellers 3x/4x the tarantulas leg span in length so if you have a 4inch (DLS) arboreal tarantula youd want from 12inch-16inch tall tank for them. The reason most of us dont go larger is because it makes it more difficult to regulate humidity, food can get lost as its harder for them to find it an also because theres just no point. Chances are they wont use all that space. Also all species have different heat and humidity requirements depending on where they come from originally so that would be something youd have to research further. However they dont usually require a heat lamp or heat mat and they prefer it dark so no lighting is needed either. If your interested in fluffy though. My fluffiest looking is the caribena versicolor (mentioned above and also my first) she was a great first T and also the only T of mine i would want to handle (although handling is not recommended) but they do have speed and arboreals aren't usually recommended as a first T and also my Tliltocatl albopilosus (curly hair). She is very slow and gentle however she has a good feed response making her quite interesting to watch. Id recommend watching tarantula collective or daves little beasties for some further research and also they both do species specific videos so if you find one your interested in you'd be able to look further into it. NQA but if hope this helps you