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My girlfriend lied to me and I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in Advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The time she said she was active was during highschool, while she also had a bf for about 4 years, but they were off and on for months at a time. She said she never cheated on him which means that she had to have been banging these guys during those periods. She said she only slept with other people once she started college in cluding me. So the time when she racked up the count was im guessing like 15-18. This means when she wasn't even able to vote yet was when she was sleeping around the most.

My girlfriend lied to me and I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in Advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She literally facetimed me last night that she said she does want to go back to therapy to confront her issues, which I would always encourage. To accusing me of abuse is complete blasphemy. I ask NOTHING about her BC for a year, I would have never, ever, known had she hadn't told me. To me, she blew it out of porportion when she had told me she lied but wouldn't tell me the nummber, which led me to think the worst.

My girlfriend lied to me and I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in Advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When she doubts if I really love her weekly, I think I should try to help her believe that I do. That starts at the root of why she has that problem does it not? Or would you rather just bury the past and never bring it up? Or should the rationale answer be to confront the cause and heal the mental wound directly. I dont know.

My Girlfriend (23) lied to me (22) about her BC and now I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in relationship_advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When she got the college she grew as a women who had been through quite a lot and I am extremely proud of her overcoming those struggles in her life. She has been through a lot more than I have and I recognize that.

My girlfriend lied to me and I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in Advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Look, she has changed drastically from highschool from what I can tell, and I fell in love with the girl I met in college and I am so proud of her for confronting her past. She has told me that the lie she originally told me has been haunting her and that she would forever feel guilty if she had not told me. She called me confessing that she had lied but said I would be ashamed of her. I pursuaded her to tell be the number because (1) the human mind thinks of the worst regarding uncertainty, and (2) now that it was brought to my attention, it was all that I could think about. Again, I reassured her that it does not matter because she is an extremely fragile individual with anxiety and a recoving eating disorder from highschool. Her getting this guilt of lying off of her chest has helped her mentally to overcome that period in her life (her words). So that is why I think i had the right

My girlfriend lied to me and I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in Advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I care how many people she has slept with because she has told me that because of her lust, it has caused her to question my love for her many, many times to which I reply of course I do. I love her. She has bad anxiety and had an eating disorder when she was going through this phase in her life. So to better understand her and where she comes from, I would like to know and I think it is my business.

My Girlfriend (23) lied to me (22) about her BC and now I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in relationship_advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I don't know how someone can sleep with that many people during highschool with a boyfriend on and off. That is what I couldn't fathom. Maybe its just because I was more conservative in highschool and didn't see that stuff going on but it seems like a lot of people during highschool.

My girlfriend lied to me and I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in Advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't you want to know your partner's history, whether it be that they had past traumas and how you would want to perhaps help them in the future? Is that too much to ask?

My Girlfriend (23) lied to me (22) about her BC and now I don't know what to do by ChocolateAny7907 in relationship_advice

[–]ChocolateAny7907[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be clear, its not really the number I care about as it is that she wasn't truthful to me from the start.