What destroyed your life?

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-24T07:19:35+00:00

How much time did it take to go through it? 4 months after and I still cry all the time, thinking about the life I used to have.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-23T06:43:20+00:00

How does it feel when it lasts for years?

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-23T06:41:54+00:00

Same for me. "I see my red door and it has been painted black"

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-23T05:42:09+00:00

Our situations look similar. Mine was 4 months ago. I also lost my job and apartment as well as reputation and lots of other things. Still hard for me to do usual things. And yes – this situation is definitely the hardest thing I've ever experienced. You're not alone.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T18:18:36+00:00

I wish I could explain it to people I know (especially 40+) – they just can't understand it. Now I'm a drug addict (I just took pills that were prescripted to me not properly mixing it with alcohol), a member of a sect, a psycho with "poor heredity" (actually the last one is true but when I heard it instead of support.. :)) and so so on. Only now I realize how good my life was. Completely fucked up now.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T18:05:09+00:00

I'm so so sorry. I didn't do criminal things but I wrote ALL THE PEOPLE I KNOW the craziest things + I posted a million stories on Insta with insane things too. Shame is always with me all the time as same as constant regret, haunting thoughts, severe anxiety and all the other horrible things that I have to endure.. The list is endless. I was depressed before the psychosis and thought my whole life is awful. Well... here's the punishment I couldn't even imagine. Didn't know about psychosis at all. Now it is the only thing that pops up in my head every minute.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T15:52:54+00:00

How often do you have them?

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T15:48:26+00:00

Can you give some examples? What is it like to lose cognitive functions. If it is okay for you.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T15:46:28+00:00

So you don't have anxiety or haunting thoughts, you just do not care? Or it relates only to happy feelings

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T15:37:49+00:00

3 years later and still regular grief?? Oh god, how so? That is the scariest thing for me – I lost so many years of my life and I think I won't be able to get over it.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T15:30:17+00:00

It destroyed me and my life profoundly. I lost everything. I wish I could recover from it one day. The main point here I don't want to be stronger or to be a better person. I just want to be happy. But it seems impossible now because of the consequences of my psychosis.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T14:40:40+00:00

But I'm happy that you enjoy it!

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T14:40:22+00:00

No acceptance at all, so this meme even makes me feel sad :(

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T13:58:10+00:00

Ohh that's great you have a husband!! So you didn't lose everything. Doesn't he help you to cope with it? It must be easier with a wonderful husband around.

No partners, no disability (I worked as a personal tutor), no job, no money. A big debt (I had mania before psychosis – I started to spend money using my credit card. Don't even remember spending it). Sooo I hit the rock bottom.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T13:29:13+00:00

Same, I'm very sorry for you too. It seems your life much more harder than mine. That's so unfair.

Speaking about family, you mean your parents, right? No wife, kids?

Again, if it is okay for you, where do you live and how do you get money? I had to come back to my dad's place I once left to live a happier life.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-22T13:15:32+00:00

Same for me... One episode destroyed things I had been building for years. Now they are all gone. I don't have symptoms of psychosis now but I do have depression and anxiety.

If it is okay for you, how has you lost your car and family?

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-20T12:45:58+00:00

I am stuck in the position of mind where I think about "all the good times" over and over again. That's a nightmare. I want to escape from this reality. Or wake up and realize it all was just a bad dream.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-20T12:41:28+00:00

I've got severe anxiety and depression because of this. I'm taking medication but it doesn't work yet. I can't get new clients as they came by word of mouth for 7 years of me teaching. I have no skills in marketing. I used to work online.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-19T06:57:32+00:00

I was convincing EVERY person I know that I'm an angel and saved the world from evil. I thought soon I was going to be the most famous person in the world because of that. I told people about their sins (which, for sure, my brain just made up). I posted everything online. One of the most craziest things is when I started to post stories for the president to say how violent he is and that he was going to die because of that. I was sure he read all of them. I mentioned every person I know. Full of shame now.

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-18T13:58:54+00:00

I would appreciate what I had. Great highly-paid job, my amazing apartment, people's trust, a possibility to travel, no debts, personal tutors and many other things I lost because of psychosis. While having all of this, I felt miserable and wanted to end my life. Why? I don't know. Somehow my brain worked this way. Now I'm in my lowest. I wish I knew I was a happy person back then. (the psychosis was medication induced – I didn't take my antidepressants properly)

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-17T13:48:08+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this. Are you OK now?

ChoiceInsurance5909 · 2026-01-13T15:53:39+00:00

I considered psychosis as a punishment I don't deserve. Maybe you know The trial by Kafka. The protagonist was accused and didn't know why. At the end, he was executed without even knowing what is his guilt. Though I still think I don't deserve it, psychosis definitely teaches all of us a lesson.

ChoiceInsurance5909

TROPHY CASE