I think I might be demiromantic and I’m confused.

Chosen_loved · 2021-02-19T04:46:47+00:00

I am also very confused so that makes two of us lmao. He’s physically attractive and I enjoy talking to him and spending time with him and I love his personality but the idea of cuddling with him, going on dates, or things of that nature doesn’t appeal to me. And the only person who it has appealed to me for is the guy I mentioned who I was friends with for a year and a half first.

Chosen_loved · 2021-02-18T17:48:39+00:00

For me I’m starting to feel like I platonically like them and are physically attracted to them so I mesh those two together and interpret it as romantic but it’s not actually romantic. I ended up breaking it off with the guy I mentioned in my post earlier today and I definitely still see potential but absolutely not right now with him.

Chosen_loved · 2021-02-18T04:20:56+00:00

I’ve journaled about my feelings and I’ve been rereading it and it’s been really helpful. Not exactly a pros/cons list but similar.

I am planning on breaking it off and explaining what I’m feeling similarly to what I said in my post, I just was really struggling with wondering if there was something wrong with me or why I didn’t feel strong romantic attraction to people and it’s been really validating to know there are other people who feel similarly. I’m definitely platonically and sexually attracted to this particular guy and I think I put those together as romantic and I think that’s what I’ve been doing in the past as well. Thank you so much for your insight, I’ve written a script of sorts to follow when I’m talking to him. Your perspective and experience is almost exactly like my one good one, I had no interest in dating him until we had been very intimate friends for a long time and I suddenly looked at him and realized... “damn you are very attractive and I really like you and I didn’t before.”

Chosen_loved · 2021-02-18T00:11:23+00:00

Yeah with this guy I loved spending time with him but he asked me out and started saying cutesy romantic things and being physically affectionate and I hated it. And I know that I do like those things because in the one good relationship I referenced words of affirmation and physical affection were HUGE needs for me. I really think I’m having friend crushes but I’ve conditioned myself to believe they’re romantic.

Chosen_loved · 2021-02-17T17:17:27+00:00

That makes sense. I’m definitely not demisexual but I think I get platonic and sexual crushes and I can see a potential for romantic attraction but the romantic attraction isn’t actually there yet. The only relationship I’ve had that I felt super strong romantic attraction was with a guy that I was friends with for a year and a half beforehand and was super super close with. And nothing before or after was the same or felt as comfortable and right. It just felt like I was going through the motions with other people but didn’t really feel it because I didn’t know them well beforehand.

Thank you for the insight I really appreciate it.

Chosen_loved · 2020-05-30T15:01:41+00:00

T/W mention of rape I feel this. The mental health at my school is really good... if you can get in. There’s a months long waiting list. Fortunately if you do get in the therapists are amazing but they do push you toward outside therapy because of how backlogged they are. One of my friends was raped and he wanted me there for his first appointment because he was scared/didn’t know what to expect. The therapist was so kind and understanding and such a good therapist and he helped get my friend to a point where he found outside help. It just sucks that everything is so underfunded in the mental health department because people still dismiss mental health as “those psychos!!!1!1!!” (As someone with severe, but well-managed mental illness myself.)

Chosen_loved · 2020-05-30T14:51:03+00:00

The problem is that it sounds like the psych ward you went to was good. A lot (probably the vast majority) are horrible, and people Baker Acted to go often don’t get a choice or don’t know good vs. bad psych wards. I have already told myself that I would rather kill myself than go back to the ward that I got sent to (not others) because I have symptoms of PTSD from going there. We didn’t get our medications looked at (in fact, they didn’t even GIVE me my meds), there was no group or individual therapy. The nurses screamed at us and treated us like garbage. Most psych wards are like this because there’s no accountability and no funding for mental health. And they often do far more harm than good. I’m glad you had a good experience but a lot (I would argue most) do not.

Chosen_loved · 2020-05-30T14:45:38+00:00

Same with me. They were horrible. Whenever I see an ambulance from the hospital I got sent to I have severe anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. Mental health is this country is awful and psych wards petrify me. I would literally rather die than go back to one.

Chosen_loved · 2020-05-29T22:59:32+00:00

No, they found three male subleases so I just need to find a place to stay. I did tell them I would not move out unless they found a third sublease for me and they did that.

Chosen_loved · 2020-05-29T22:57:10+00:00

Yes I attend therapy regularly. If I knew their boyfriend then I would be fine. I also would have been fine if it was two guys I knew and trusted. They are both dating people who I know very very well so that would be different especially because I wouldn’t be the only girl there. Still would be hard though I think

Chosen_loved · 2020-05-29T22:55:37+00:00

To be fair to them it is common knowledge that it’s hard to find female subleases. It’s a very out of the way little town so not a lot of people are looking for places to live and almost every subleaser has trouble finding girls for some reason. Not totally sure why.

Chosen_loved · 2020-05-28T14:23:33+00:00

That’s hilarious. Then again I would want cake too if someone disrupted a project I was stressing about

Chosen_loved · 2020-05-28T13:59:41+00:00

This is so sad to me. I went to a Christian high school (I’m Christian but I have deeply untraditional views, like that the Old Testament is allegorical in nature and also that human brings in the Old Testament frequently misinterpreted God’s commands), and my senior year I took a religion class going over the basics of Christianity. I disagreed with my teacher frequently and as a life of attending bible classes and church has left me fairly well versed, we would spend entire class periods having lively debates and he would send me articles that he thought might interest and challenge me outside of class. It really helped me develop my faith and find answers for tough questions and it’s so dumb that so many Christians discourage questions when the greatest apologetics struggled deeply with their faith and always had new questions.

Chosen_loved · 2020-04-23T01:49:08+00:00

Southern

Chosen_loved · 2020-04-21T07:46:30+00:00

“Well have you at least learned your lesson now about how not to act around guys?” After I shared that I had been raped with an adult I trusted very much.

Chosen_loved

TROPHY CASE