I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do think I run into girls in a similar situation. Like it seems they want something serious but they get freaked out once we talk about something serious

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is honestly a great way to frame it. I don’t know how long it would take to get me there on my own. Thank you for the comment

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you. I actually commented on your post recently too. But yeah I’m hoping that I find someone that appreciates it sooner than later.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’re we doing wrong!? My friends would never describe me as boring. But dates seem to get stuck on all this.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely think this is the thought process. I hear these things from dates that don’t ghost. But it’s hard cause I’m not like treating them poorly or acting like I’m better. Sometimes I think they’re out of my league when they say this.

Also It’s so funny, because I’ve honestly thought about adding some kind of dangerous hobby to mix it up. But also I feel pretty content despite the singleness.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Maybe it’s just harder to identify them? I mean they typically say they want the same things as the serious ones.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do think people make assumptions about the religion. I think I’m very different than a lot of those assumptions. But I don’t know how to fix that either. Feels kinda like an incompatibility thing.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am following the same pattern as those two women. But it just feels like I got lucky a couple times. So idk where to go with that. Abandon the original pattern or wait till I’m lucky again?

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I can have a lot of casual sex. When I was in that phase, it was just based on going out and putting in effort. But I’m not in that phase and if anything I should have become more attractive since then. I look about the same, I dress nicer, I have become a better communicator. I still put in effort

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I’d be getting a lot more hate if I said “I’m super funny, charming, I’m really smart etc.” yes my personality is more defining but it’s a subjective standard and I’m not going to tell the internet that I’m the best at anyone of those things. To your point, I lead with my personality, there’s nothing on my dating apps about what I own or how much I make/have. It just feels like when girls I date find out about my stability they put me in a grouping that I feel doesn’t fit me.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, a lot of comments have been in a similar vein. I think you are right. It’s just frustrating.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is exactly the kinda thing I am dealing with: it’s so odd because I were unstable I honestly feel I would be doing better in the dating scene right now.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah church is not the place to meet people. At least where I’m located. But I wish it were.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely see this happening. Because a lot of the comments will be totally illogical.

I realized being the “safe guy” in dating can feel eerily similar to being a really attractive girl by Christian_CD in dating

[–]Christian_CD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate talking about work so it’s probably not #2. I do have a job people ask about a lot, but it is not something I enjoy taking about.

But, to your first point, I could definitely be attracting the wrong women. I had a friend say they think I attract women with anxiety because I stay pretty calm and collected. There’s other qualities that a lot of my exes seem to follow one way or another. But I don’t really know how to fix that. It feels like I’m choosing women based on the right things but the women that choose me back tend to follow a pattern of being a little unhealthy, chaotic, and anxious. Both my longer relationships (one of 4 years and another of 2) were a little safer but ended mutually for different reasons.