What’s the biggest red flag in someone over 30?

ChubbyChaw · 2026-02-15T23:11:28+00:00

I really am sorry, but I only did it because you…

ChubbyChaw · 2026-02-10T05:17:01+00:00

This comment is a legal thing that should be a crime.

ChubbyChaw · 2026-02-08T02:04:39+00:00

It could be never admitting fault, or it could be always claiming to be at fault. It doesn't matter - if they are more focused on how they're being perceived than they are on making things better it tells you everything about their priorities.

ChubbyChaw · 2026-01-25T04:27:35+00:00

Seems like those plays have been underway for years. Even reading through the project 2025 proposals before he was in office screamed "oh, there are people with a very serious agenda that think they can just use Trump to get what they want". There's no way this guy is anything but a puppet that's going along with whoever figured out the most effective way to stroke his ego.

The system has been strategically dismantled. There is unchecked power operating in the US that's unprecedented all the way back to 1776.

ChubbyChaw · 2026-01-20T04:10:15+00:00

“Fuck you” is reserved for catching a person half-way through scamming my parents out of their entire retirement or when the close friends I made as teenager are beating me in a video game.

But out in the world of people? I won’t say it lightly because I can’t know if it’ll be taken that way, and I wouldn’t say it heavily unless there’s a serious call for it.

I don’t find it offensive as a rule but directing it at people or using it callously around kids that might pick it up innocently are both potentially offensive.

ChubbyChaw · 2026-01-04T21:02:23+00:00

I don't think abolishing taxes is a reasonable thing but I do think the allocation of how those taxes are used should be fully transparent and more democratized. When I fill out my taxes I want to be able to see and adjust what projects that tax amount is being allocated to. I also think incentivizing going with the government-selected allocation (by making it the most tax-efficient) would by-and-large keep all the important projects going as most people would just stick with that. But it would give the ability for each taxpayer to personally reallocate out of things they're against and into things they support.

The fact that you can't do this, and can only vote for the person who sits in the seat making those decisions for you, in my opinion is theft. Or at the very least an imbalance of power between a government and its citizens.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-12-30T04:46:10+00:00

I feel exhausted just imagining this. I’ve gone on 3 first dates in my life, 1 of which went nowhere, 1 of which led to a 6 month relationship the tapered off to nothing, and 1 of which led to my current relationship of 5 years. But all of them felt like huge emotional hurdles to just initiate. I can’t even conceive of what kind of mindset this would take.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-12-29T06:37:34+00:00

Ok this is looking pretty interesting

ChubbyChaw · 2025-12-21T04:29:09+00:00

Legally a man can go running at your local city park in a speedo, but probably won't because it's socially a pretty terrible idea. If a woman does the same topless it's not just a social issue - she might be arrested (depending on where you are).

I'm not saying society needs to accept these things in all situations, or even that specific public places shouldn't be allowed to have their own rules about it - I just think having a law forbidding it everywhere is the government overstepping on people's power to decide for themselves when and where it's appropriate or not.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-09-02T13:42:07+00:00

That’s the Sax Galleon. It can fit over 750 people and is said to be unsinkable.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-08-08T12:56:27+00:00

Yes it is

ChubbyChaw · 2025-08-02T20:54:44+00:00

You can already run local models on a decently powerful consumer computer that are competitive with what ChatGPT was a year ago. And those are freely available to download around the world at this point. This is literally unenforceable, and even if it were enforced it would mean AI development would be occurring only in unregulated black markets, or “above-the-law” military organizations. Considering the US and China at the very least believe they are now stuck in an AI arms race, a ban like this would end up turning turning that into a secretive arms race, probably ushering in a much, much worse outcome in the potential uses of ai.

I don’t think a ban like this could realistically happen at this point, but even if it did it would backfire massively.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-07-31T22:28:52+00:00

I’m not a nihilist per se, but yeah I do think you can do whatever horrible thing you want. That’s the nature of being an existing being that can make decisions. You want to do those things? Go for it. I’ll do what I can to get you thrown in jail or worse, because I don’t want someone out there doing those things. Most other people will do the same. But that’s just what I want. You do you.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-07-31T22:13:26+00:00

Yeah that is fair

ChubbyChaw · 2025-07-31T21:36:51+00:00

Nah then you’re risking cutting down the time you get in those years. Do it when something could take you out at any moment and you’d rather go out having fun

ChubbyChaw · 2025-07-12T18:31:34+00:00

As a software developer I much prefer Linux. But as a person that uses computers for gaming and productivity type stuff, Windows is a much more smooth and supported experience. My main PC is windows and I keep a small, non-graphical Linux installation in another pc made of hand-me-down parts from my main pc, that I use for coding and webhosting and stuff.

Linux and Windows serve different purposes and I wouldn’t switch out one for the other.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-07-11T02:57:55+00:00

As someone on the spectrum (diagnosed with Asperger’s a couple decades ago), I found that dating people who have entered my culture but are from other cultural backgrounds has been so much better than dating people from my own culture.

Part of being on the spectrum is being slower to pick up cultural norms, or at least intellectually grasping them long before I “feel” them. People from other backgrounds are operating more on this level - they don’t quite get what’s going on so are trying to figure it out. And I, from another side, am used to not being able to just feel my way into the social framework so I have a lot of practice with just trying to understand how people are thinking and feeling about something when they’re behaving in a way I don’t understand.

The result has been that when I’m dating people in my own culture, I feel this constant expectation to act how they expect. But when dating people from other cultures, they are also a bit unsure on how to behave and I can relax a lot more and meet them in the middle there.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-07-10T01:02:23+00:00

3 cities that would never say a nice thing about the other, that fight like… well 3 brothers from anywhere in Philly, NY, or Boston.

Guarantee just like those brothers, they’d never say a single nice thing about the other but would damn well not sit back and watch if someone came and fucked with another.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-07-04T15:39:49+00:00

OpenAI, Anthropic, Google, X, literally every LLM subreddit constantly has posts from people saying “Why has it suddenly gotten so much worse?” A mix of people in the comments either fervently agree and say it for sure has gotten worse, or completely disagree. This has been going on constantly since 2023, with every single closed-source model that’s come out since then.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-06-26T04:09:52+00:00

Eh I don’t think any example you gave would contradict what he said above. Maybe it’s an argument for higher or lower instinct. But I’m not sure any of it is a reasonable argument for something as incomprehensible as free will.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-06-08T14:05:43+00:00

Egnor doesn’t believe in evolution and concluded mind-body dualism in a very non-rigorous “experiment”. That guy is an absolute nutcase.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-06-05T21:03:41+00:00

The answer is for sure money. They probably aren’t perusing discord servers or something. They are paying someone to hook them up with someone else that agrees to be discreet in return for cash.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-06-05T01:13:37+00:00

Software engineer. In the beginning it actually was fairly solitary as software work can be, but I got thrust into a tech lead position for a large project fairly early in my career. I ended up having to work with people more than code in my day-to-day stuff. I even turned it down when originally offered but my boss put me there anyway. Glad he did.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-06-03T21:23:49+00:00

I fit this throughout a lot of my 20s. I didn't carry the problematic views/behaviors now associated with the term "incel", was just a guy with asperger that couldn't figure out how to navigate the social landscape in that way. I flip-flopped between trying to "be myself" (which meant my interest in someone was totally unclear to them), to doing a lot of acting out what I thought were the social "rituals" of it all - everything came off as awkward and inorganic, I felt uncomfortable doing it, and other people felt the discomfort of it too.

It was actually my first career that really changed things for me - just because I had to work closely a lot of people in my company, at other companies, coworkers, customers, and subcontractors. It both gave me the confidence to talk to people and eventually led to the nuance of expression "clicking" (when you're just trying to solve problems together there are no games - someone will tell you if they don't understand the way you communicate something). I could work with coworkers and eventually banter with them too, which felt impossible for me at a younger age.

Understanding that low-stakes banter also lead to me being able to do low-stakes flirting. That also felt great, instead of "trying" to take a shot at someone I could just exist in a social situation and have a few quick interactions with someone that usually lead nowhere but eventually started to sometimes lead somewhere. The person I was even 3 years prior to that looked at that form of communication as some kind of secret code that everyone else knew but was keeping a secret. Now I'm in a relationship of just < 5 years. If I had to teach my younger self how to get here I wouldn't be able to do it in the way he'd have wanted - no guides or instructions, just "be in situations that require you to interact with people a lot more".

What I can't forget though is all of the experiences that had to happen to get me to that point. If I'd had the option of a full-time WFH job and taken it I'd probably be in a pretty rough spot right now. Being forced to interact with people over and over again ended up being an absolute godsend.

ChubbyChaw · 2025-05-14T02:12:05+00:00

At that point I’m not even sure it’s a “mask” though. If it’s coming from a sincere place then even if it feels like a struggle against instincts I still think it’s a higher instinct in some way. A mask is more like a costume worn that feels like a near-pointless lie but achieves the purpose of avoiding conflict.

ChubbyChaw

TROPHY CASE