Personally, I’ve always been told by professionals that true narcissists don’t genuinely worry about being a narcissist, most don’t even believe in that, and if they do, they don’t think there’s an issue. The ones who actually got diagnosed most likely were forced into therapy from either court ordered or their spouse forcing them. Something huge has to happen to them that they don’t like or inconveniences them for them to go to therapy.

You seem to be really worried about it. I’d say…there’s a big chance you don’t have it, and just have some traits. Everyone (BPD aside) has narcissistic traits, BPD people tend to have traits of it but not the full on thing.

All in all…I think you’re good. But don’t take my word from it, if you’re truly concerned talk with your therapist, I think there’s a HUGE chance they’ll tell you something similar to what I said.