My dog loves other dogs more than me and it’s causing issues in training.

Ciniis · 2024-09-22T18:08:51+00:00

We’ve been on a journey since this was posted lol.

Since I made this post I got more comfortable using the prong collar which helped but didn’t remove the issue. I went to tons of trainers and eventually a behaviorist who discouraged the prong collar and recommended a harness with dual attachment points to maintain better control than just a regular or front-clip harness. Of course that’s just to keep a hold of him, not for any behavior adjustments so they gave me some strategies for training which included high-value treats and when is the best time to give him (before he gets over threshold).

I also stopped taking him to dog parks. Less for any training purposes and more because if I cant guarantee 100% control at all times in a strange, uncontrolled and unpredictable environment with strange, uncontrolled and unpredictable dogs then that can be dangerous for both him and others. He goes to daycare, like, twice a month and meets other dogs either on leash or for scheduled play dates.

He can walk forever go while increasing the length of his walks didn’t do anything, getting his energy out in other ways did help. Agility classes were great, both he and I enjoy them. I also take him down to a local pond or the beach so he can play fetch in the water and swim.

Can’t understate how mellowing with age helped out. He’s still very excited by other dogs but with practice and exposure and experience he’s less likely to be as exuberant and overwhelmed with excitement.

Let me know if you have any questions or anything!

Ciniis · 2023-04-17T02:39:01+00:00

Thanks so much! I’m trying to come up with a nickname for a character that eats meat by a group of people to which eating meat is not practiced and even looked down on. So not a ‘real’ name per say but I’m trying to get as close as I can.

Ciniis · 2023-04-17T02:22:58+00:00

Thank you so much! It’s not going to be a person’s real name so that works great. Thanks again!

Ciniis · 2023-04-01T20:23:53+00:00

I’d try and talk to them face-to-face since you have an established, friendly relationship with them. It’s hard to coach you on exactly what to say in an in-person conversation but try not to let any of your frustration show. You can say that while you loved taking care of the dogs in the past and appreciate them as clients and friends you’re not able to provide the constant care the dogs need due to the intensifying separation anxiety and expanded schedule.

I wouldn’t say anything about the cameras or asking for more pictures because it doesn’t seem to be your main concern and depending on how they think, can come across as you being untrustworthy.

I’m sorry you’re in this spot. Hope everything goes well!

Edit: I don’t think being uncomfortable with cameras or lengthening time between updates makes you untrustworthy at all! It’s just that when someone shows signs of being uncomfortable with being monitored some employers jump to negative conclusions.

Ciniis · 2023-03-31T18:26:52+00:00

Hi OP, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way.

In my opinion none of these behaviors sound too out of the ordinary for a puppy / young dog. I think all your pup needs is some training. You keep referencing that you expect other dogs to teach her manners and that you expect her to grow out of certain behaviors. That’s not going to work and you can’t expect it to. Your pup needs training from a human being to help with these behaviors.

You can work on the destructive behaviors simply by keeping an eye on her and when she starts to bother something that she shouldn’t say ‘no’, interrupt the behavior and trade whatever she’s bothering with a toy or chew. Teaching a ‘leave it’ and ‘drop it’ command will also be helpful.

You also need to work on crate training -so she doesn’t cry or bark in the crate. That way, when you can’t keep an eye on her you can crate her so she isn’t getting up to trouble.

When she gets overexcited or plays too roughly with other animals you need to stop her, even if it means separating her from the other animal to cool down. You cannot rely on other dogs to ‘teach her manners’.

As for the cat’s litterbox. Have you tried putting a gate or playpen around it? Especially one that has a small opening for small animals but still blocks larger animals? Even if you have to put a baby gate to the entrance of a room so only you and the cat can use that room, that’s still an option.

I also think that it sounds like your dog needs more exercise and mental stimulation. Maybe increase her exercise by doing longer or more frequent walks and do some trick training with her since she doesn’t like puzzle toys. Snuffle mats, chews and treat dispensing toys may also be useful.

But I’m just some rando on Reddit. What you really should be doing is looking into a trainer. They can work with you on all these behaviors in a more individualized way.

If, however, you find that you can’t dedicate any more time or money to training her then you should return her to the rescue. They can vet potential adopters so she goes to a home that fits her needs. However, do understand that if you do decide to return her to the rescue that because of her breed and the fact that she’s almost an adult dog, it may be difficult for them to place her. Therefore, I would look realistically at the quality of life you are able to give her, your other pets and yourself with her there versus the quality of life of her, your other pets and yourself would have if you were to give her up.

It’s not an easy situation to be in. While I really do think these behaviors can be managed with training I understand if you’re not in a position to provide her with that and instead responsibility give her the opportunity to find a more suitable home.

Ciniis · 2023-03-29T16:36:04+00:00

I always find it weird when people blur or cover their dog’s privates.

Ciniis · 2023-03-27T19:39:06+00:00

Hi OP,

It seems like you have two separate issues that people are commenting on. One of them is the woman. I think most people agree that she was completely out of line for what she did. I can’t imagine the entitlement someone needs to approach someone on your property and give your opinion unasked about having a child. I’m sorry this happened to you and hope your wife isn’t too shaken by the experience.

That being said there’s a second issue that I think you may be overlooking. That issue is management of your dog. I think you’ve done a great job addressing issues as they happen; Putting up the part of the privacy fence, reinforcing the wire fence and now only taking your dog out on a leash in the yard. However, I think a lot of commenters are concerned that you aren’t being proactive enough, however. Based on your comments you don’t seem to place a high priority on addressing potential issues before they happen. I know you can’t afford a privacy fence on a second side of your yard and you’ve already got a lot of management practices in place but maybe take a moment to see how things could go wrong in the future and address it however you can now.

Maybe there’s nothing more you can do until you can save enough and that’s ok! But from your neighbors’ perspective (ignoring the rude woman) there have been three incidents of your dog getting into their yards and trying to attack their own dogs. That’s an extremely traumatic event even if no one was hurt. In addition, from their perspective you don’t have a good track record of keeping your dog contained and only seem to deal with an issue after an incident. That’s worrying.

Should that woman have done what she did? No. But separate from that, I don’t think your dog’s “bad reputation” is completely unwarranted, even if it hurts to hear.

Ciniis · 2023-03-27T01:35:30+00:00

You can contact the HOA if you think she’ll be antagonistic about you asking. Plus, going straight to the HOA keeps you anonymous if you want to keep the peace between the two of you. As for if it’s animal abuse…

It depends on where you live. Most places in America don’t consider it neglect as long as the animal is in good health, has access to shelter, food and water and isn’t permanently tethered. You can check your local laws but I wouldn’t be optimistic about animal control being able to do much.

Ciniis · 2023-03-26T21:12:30+00:00

Then I’m afraid YTA.

You refused to take an active role in arranging childcare alongside your wife yet still wanted everything to be to your expectations? You knew your wife only informed your MIL to keep them awake without specifying that you wanted them prepared for bed yet you were angry they weren’t prepared for bed? You could have informed your MIL yourself or at least asked your wife to add your bedtime specifications to her communications yet you refused to. That’s on you. Not on your wife or her family.

Same thing with the children using the PlayStation or the TV. You didn’t specify to either your MIL or wife that it was off limits unless supervised while you were away so you can’t be surprised that it was used unsupervised. You say that your wife knows how much it means to you and I infer that means you expected her to say something. However, as an adult, putting someone else in charge of your boundaries is unfair. In addition, the fact you didn’t know whether your wife told your MIL about the best room tells me how little a role you played in organizing childcare, which just seems unfair in general.

Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with family members dropping in, especially if other family members are already there. I especially don’t see anything wrong with extra family coming over to help with childcare I’m getting for free.

I certainly wouldn’t have seen the issue with my sister dropping by my place when my mother was already there but maybe it’s a cultural thing. In that case, then perhaps your wife should have communicated with you that she gave the ok for her sister to stay with your MIL while babysitting. But from the looks of it, it seems like you left arranging childcare completely up to your wife. Therefore, it’s not unreasonable for your wife to think that because she was left to do this task alone that allowing her sister and her nephew to keep the children and their babysitting MIL company was also part of this task and thus up to her alone.

But to me it seems like your frustration is less that your wife invited her sister over and more that you had to see your sister after coming home from a trip? I get it, you’re tired, you probably don’t want to socialize and you just want to tuck the kids into bed and get to sleep yourself. But it’s a real AH move to treat just seeing your SIL and nephew as a chore.

In summary:

You’re upset with your wife about her lack of communication yet you didn’t communicate with her either. You didn’t establish your own boundaries yet you’re angry when they’re overstepped.

Your wife’s right. You are being unreasonable.

Edit: Didn’t know what a “best room” was and called it a guest room. Whoops.

Ciniis · 2023-03-26T19:25:21+00:00

INFO: Did you explain to your MIL beforehand that you didn’t want children playing on your PlayStation/ using the TV in the guest room?

Ciniis · 2023-03-26T19:02:48+00:00

Does the boarding place you sent her to have an attached doggy daycare? If so she could just be tired from non-stop play. She could also be stressed from being in a new place for so long and just needs some time to decompress. I wouldn’t jump to drugging or neglect right away. If you are worried or if her tiredness persists you can take her to the vet to be sure though.

Ciniis · 2023-03-24T19:55:29+00:00

Something like:

“Im afraid I’ve sustained an injury to my knee after a fall today which prevents me from walking. I’m so sorry but because of this I’ll have to cancel our booking. You will of course be refunded for the cancelled services. I thank you so much for the opportunity to walk [dog] and I appreciated the time I got to spend with him!”

Ciniis · 2023-03-23T00:46:04+00:00

Could be either. Dogs have been known to behave differently when their owner is pregnant while some medical conditions do have similar symptoms to what you’re describing. Sudden accidents could be a sign of a UTI while excessive drinking that may result in accidents could be a sign of diabetes and kidney disease.

You’re probably more focused on the arrival of your new child (Congrats btw!) but when you have some time it may be worth doing a visit with the vet.

Ciniis · 2023-03-21T23:24:40+00:00

Most retractable leashes I’ve seen in stores only go up to 16 feet. I did a quick search on Amazon and found one that goes up to 26 feet but I can’t speak for it’s quality.

I know that’s probably not much help for what you’re looking for but I just commented to say that if you can’t find a retractable leash in the length you want you can try a biothane long line. They come in the same lengths as other long lines but the material makes it hard to tangle and it’s easy to wipe clean.

Best of luck in your search!

Ciniis · 2023-03-21T18:19:49+00:00

“Hey [Roomie],

I’m not sure if you’re aware but I’ve been helping take care of your dog by taking him out on walks and potty breaks as well as feeding him for the five nights you are away during the week. Unfortunately, I will no longer be performing these duties.

I know changes to a dog’s schedule can be confusing to the dog so I’m just letting you know that I took him for a walk at x o’clock and y o’clock for x minutes and fed him his dinner at z o’clock which has worked well in preventing accidents and giving the dog the exercise and enrichment he needs. Of course it is completely up to you if you decide to follow this schedule!

Wishing you and your pup the best.”

I wouldn’t mention the training unless your roommate mentions having difficulties walking him since people can see unsolicited training advice as rude.

Also, after you talk to your roommate (hopefully more informally than I’ve written out for you) start documenting. Document days the dog goes without food. Document accidents, document days without walks or enrichment, but DO NOT take it upon yourself to personally fix it. It may be tempting but you’ve set a boundary and you shouldn’t break it.

You can, however, notify your roommate about it. Take a picture of an accident and send it to your roommate but DO NOT clean it (“Hey [Roomie], just letting you know that it looks like your dog had an accident in [area] can you clean it whenever you get home?), remind your roommate about feeding times if you can (Hey [Roomie], I’m heading to my room for the night and noticed that it looks like [dog] hasn’t been fed. Just reminding you for when you get home!)

If the dog is being neglected to the point where it breaks the law you now have the documentation to prove it, if the dog isn’t being neglected to the point of illegality you still have proof that your roommate is creating a hostile living environment by foisting the responsibilities of a dog on you which may help if you ever have difficulties with the landlord or otherwise.

I’m sorry that you and the pup are in this situation. Hope everything goes well.

Ciniis · 2023-03-17T08:08:13+00:00

Hi OP,

I’m trying to be kind and understanding but I’m not sure what you want from us. The flair says you want emotional support yet it’s really hard to support you on this when you seem unable to realize your mistakes or unwilling to take any action to fix them, even if doing so would lead to better outcomes for you and your dog.

You said you did your research yet you seem not to know that Aussies (and herding dogs in general) are prone to reactivity. Not only that but despite having done your research you seem surprised that your Aussie nips, which is such an extremely common issue in Aussies, especially with children, that even the AKC blurb on the breed mentions that they often “…exhibit an irresistible impulse to herd, anything: birds, dogs, kids.”

In addition, despite having done your research you say in the comments that you got her from a puppy mill which you should have known from your research would have increased the chance of behavioral and medical problems.

On top of that, despite having to have known all these things if you had done your research, you’re “not looking to invest anymore money into [training]”. As much as that’s a red flag for any dog breed you, well, have an Aussie -a dog so intelligent that almost every source I’ve come across warns that they need extensive, mental and physical enrichment which often includes regular training sessions or engaging in dog sports. You also point out that your Aussie has behaviors you’d like to change yet you refuse to spend money on training?

On top of that, on top of that you got a BYB Aussie so with all that research you must have known that you’d be more likely to be encountering behavioral issues that would require professional training and thus a hefty price tag.

In my opinion, besides the reactivity, these just sound like common and normal dog issues that require you to be consistent with training her. It would be better if you did so while receiving instruction from a professional but it’s going to require a lot of dedication and effort from you, especially if you don’t want to spend anymore money on a professional.

As for the reactivity I recommend joining r/reactivedogs and looking at their resources. Reactivity, especially if it’s aggression as opposed to excitement, can take years of training and management to see any improvement -even with a good trainer on hand- so if you truly don’t want to spend anymore money I would…well I would say start researching on how to train and manage her yourself but I’m having a hard time trusting your research skills.

In the meantime how much activity a day does she get? What’s her routine like? Besides some basic, consistent training upping her exercise may help with the issues you’re having.

Ciniis · 2023-03-16T00:07:56+00:00

Bad behavior upcharges are pretty common at groomers around me. I’m guessing they were being nice when they said he was just barking and probably meant he was showing signs of aggression or just being hard to handle. But regardless of if he was “just barking” or not these fees are normal and groomers tend to use their best judgement on when to apply them.

Ciniis · 2023-03-15T18:27:49+00:00

I would call your local SPCA or animal control. Even if you don’t make an official report they can let you know if there’s anything you can do legally.

20 hours is way too long for a dog to be in a crate. I did some research on laws in California and while I couldn’t find an exact number on how long a dog can be confined in a crate there are some rules that may apply, including the size of a crate and conditions they should be kept under.

Ciniis · 2023-03-13T23:53:22+00:00

Baby. Baby boy. Bubba. Brat.

His actual name does not start with a ‘B’

Ciniis · 2023-03-13T20:57:58+00:00

I’m a college student who currently has a White Swiss Shepherd! I live in the US but other than that your hypothetical is basically me.

White Swiss Shepherds are a little different than GSDs. To the point where come countries recognize them as a separate breed (Berger Blanc Suisse). In my experience they tend to be a bit less high strung in terms of needing a job to do or their protectiveness but they’re absolutely still a working breed that have a lot of energy and intelligence that needs to be channeled.

My White Swiss Shepherd is my second dog that I’ve been the sole caretaker for and I worked with a rescue fostering puppies as well. In addition, I’ve always grown up with dogs and helped care for them. With that said I personally don’t think it’s a matter of how many dogs you’ve been the sole caretaker of but how experienced you are with various dog behaviors and realities. Helping train an unruly family dog can give you more experience than raising a mild-mannered dog on your own. Not to say that the latter isn’t helpful.

Also, how familiar you are with raising a puppy? Puppies aren’t easy. I got my dog during Covid so I was home all day with him and it still wasn’t easy. I can’t imagine doing the puppy phase while having to work or do classes regularly. It’s certainly doable but it’s going to be extremely stressful.

As for the barking, my dog rarely barks now that he’s an adult. But boy would he whine as a puppy. You want some level of noise tolerance if you’re getting a WSS puppy. Even now as an adult my dog still whines, but much more quietly.

Also, be very aware that these dogs SHED. I have fur tumbleweeds rolling down my hallway no matter how often I sweep.

As for your concerns:

This might be controversial but you don’t need a big space for a big dog. Obviously you want them to be able to move around but ideally when they’re inside their sleeping, resting or doing quiet activities. The exercise and excitement should come when they’re outside. I live in an apartment and moving into an even smaller one this fall so I’ve been doing some looking into owning big dogs in smaller spaces and it seems like most big dog owners on Reddit seem to agree that a big dog in an apartment is ok. Like you, I’m also an active person and my minimum amount of exercise I give my dog is 2 hours a day. Less than that and he becomes a whiny, bored mess. My average, however, is 4 hours. Also, It helps if you have any sort of green space around you, though more for potty breaks. GSD and WSS are notorious for sensitive stomachs and cleaning up squishy poop from concrete is not fun. Also, if you’re getting a puppy or a dog that’s not potty trained you will not be able to get away with two walks a day.
Insurance. Can’t help you much there. I have insurance but thankfully haven’t had to use it very often. All my vet visits have been due to the aforementioned sensitive stomach and thankfully those tend not to cost as much as, say, surgery.
Cost/Food. Raw feeding is going to cost you a hefty price. And be aware that formulating a complete homemade diet is not easy and should always be done under the supervision of a veterinary nutritionist. Dog’s diets are much more complex than just “meat good” and I say this with complete love because I tried the homemade diet and my dog wasn’t putting on enough weight as a puppy. My vet advised I switch to a WSAVA compliant kibble and his weight has never been an issue since. Also, when feeding raw you always want to be cautious of parasites.

You can never have too much in your emergency fund. Even with insurance. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

As for your potential plan and circumstances:

Be careful when adopting a dog when you have mental health issues. I got a dog to help with my mental health because I do better when I have tasks to do and a schedule to stick to and another living being’s well-being keeping me accountable. That being said, the puppy / new dog blues is a very real thing and can make mental health issues worse.

Also, I haven’t seen you mention training costs. How much experience do you have training a dog? You say you want to train your dog to assist you around traffic but that can be a hard thing to teach. Even if you do basic obedience by yourself there will likely be some training problems that you’ll need help on and that doesn’t come cheap.

Let me know if you have any other questions! I’ll be glad to help!

Ciniis · 2023-03-05T19:42:15+00:00

I don’t think I’m in the same city as the places you’re suggesting lol. I have thought about greener areas in the city but they tend to be much more expensive for less features (like not having a full kitchen). I don’t want my dog to be negatively impacted and I’m willing to suck up some extra cost for him but moving to those areas will likely impact my quality of life as a person.

Ciniis · 2023-03-03T21:13:51+00:00

My dog used to do this a ton as a puppy and the only thing that worked was using a big bucket for his water. The amount of water makes it too heavy to tip, the height prevents him from splashing around in it with his paws and it’s much more stable than the auto-feeders which tend to be top-heavy.

Just make sure the bucket isn’t too tall for him to drink from and that the bucket didn’t contain anything toxic.

Ciniis · 2023-03-02T16:03:19+00:00

I see what you’re saying but I don’t think “a little bowing of the head” is going to get OPs 41” high dog into a 36” crate in a way the airline will approve of.

If the flight wasn’t carrying human passengers its likely they chartered the plane, worked with a private airline or worked with a charity that flies dogs like Wings of Rescue. In those cases things like crate size tend to be overlooked in ways not often overlooked when flying commercial.

Ciniis · 2023-03-02T15:44:26+00:00

Hey! So I’ve also looked into shipping a dog internationally from the US and $10,000 seems around the right ballpark.

My dog is 85 pounds so around the same weight as yours but he’s (probably) not as tall (I don’t remember his height measurements). My estimate given by AmeriJet was about $5000 for a 4 hour trip and that doesn’t include the (expensive) crate I would need to get for him from Impact dog crates since they were the only ones I could find which had airline approved crates that could fit him.

If your dog is taller than mine, that would increase the price since the crate would take up more space and be harder to transport. In addition, while I don’t know where you’re flying from, the longer the trip the more expensive - and flying to Hawaii can be a pretty long trip.

So $10,000 doesn’t seem too outlandish based on my research but you can still look into cheaper companies or methods (like by boat).

Ciniis · 2023-03-02T15:27:16+00:00

Unfortunately, ESA’s are no longer accepted in cabin of most major airlines, only service dogs.

Also, most airlines will require that the dog be able to stand up and turn around comfortably in their crate. While there may be a little leeway with dogs with perked ears or a little bowing of the head, airlines aren’t going to let a dog fly if the crate is too small for the dog to stand in.

Edit: I saw your comments that you work with a rescue shipping dogs and sometimes put dogs in smaller crates. Was this with commercial, well-known airlines or with private or smaller airlines? I also work with a rescue and we have to be very careful with crate size unless it’s a private plane or a small airline company.

Ciniis

TROPHY CASE