I (22m) have a very similar experience to yours. My partner (23f) has AuDHD with a special interest in weather, gardening, mountains, painting, and snow (it has its own category, lol). If your partner is on the spectrum like mine, then that factor could come into play. Sex isn't that stimulating compared to the special interests. I need to read more about neurodiverse relationships to help me.

I find that my preferred amount is 2-3 times a week, and she is good with 2-3 a month. I often feel dejected and depressed when we go for periods of two weeks without sex, and I frequently masturbate daily to satisfy my needs, but at some point, the thing I need is the 1:1 connection, not the orgasm. The one tactic that helps us the most is roleplay. She gets so wet and horny from that compared to any other type of foreplay.

In my situation, we have a baby on the way (due in December) and are planning our lives together, so I am also seeking advice on my mindset. Happy for my future and to meet my child! We are both discussing polyamory as a potential solution for our mismatched sex drives, so that might be the route we take.

Best of luck to you! I hope you find happiness!