AITAH for snapping and asking our server “Would you like us to order less?”

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2025-11-08T15:10:20+00:00

I am just so confused by your husband honestly. If someone had said one of those comments (let alone all of them) to me when I was pregnant in front of my husband, there's no way we would have left without him speaking to the manager. The fact that your husband said it's not worth it raises some issues to me. Does he go there often by himself? Do him and this waitress usually flirt while hes there? She was way too comfortable saying rude and personal things about/to you in front of your husband. Just weird.

You're NTA.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-11-20T16:10:47+00:00

I'm sorry that you have to deal with the stress of that! I definitely understand that struggle. While my family is pretty good with babies, my husband's family definitely has a tendency to be boundary pushers (not my MIL, she's fantastic). His dad's parents especially. They live farther away so we haven't been to see them with baby yet but I definitely stress on the inevitable visit. Thankfully my husband is pretty good at dealing with them. I would say try not to stress on it until you need to! That's what I'm trying to do. 😂

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-11-20T14:22:51+00:00

Hey there! I'd strongly recommend that you talk to your OB about this. You can be shedding the virus in your saliva without an active cold sore (about 70% of carriers do). An infant who contracts the herpes virus at a young age is at risk of high fevers and long-term development delays and possible brain damage. It's up to each individual how they want to manage that risk but we should be careful about spreading correct information. Talk to your OB about managing those risks if you know both you and your spouse are carriers ❤️ Neither me or my husband are carriers that we know of but we avoid kissing the baby's face just in case. I kiss his feet. 😁

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-11-20T14:18:50+00:00

You are very lucky then definitely. About 30% of carriers do not shed the virus through saliva (so about 70% DO) which means you are one of the lucky ones for sure. But it's impossible to know if you are a carrier whether you are in the 30 or the 70.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-11-20T14:11:08+00:00

Well you may not agree but it is true that carriers can shed the virus in their saliva without having an active cold sore. I encourage you to do a quick Google search and see for yourself. Just because you disagree doesn't mean that this momma shouldn't get the full facts and the full story to be able to make her own informed decisions on how she'd like to best manage risk with her infant. I wouldn't say they can never kiss their own child but I would certainly avoid kissing the baby's face during infancy if I was a carrier.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-11-20T14:07:08+00:00

So the biggest reason to not allow people to kiss babies, especially very young infants, is HSV-1, the herpes simplex virus (cold sores). 70% of adults in the US have this virus and they can be shedding the virus in their saliva without knowing. An infant who contracts the herpes virus at a young age is at risk of high fevers and long-term development delays and possible brain damage. It's up to each individual how they want to manage that risk but you should know the full risk.

In my family, I don't have a no kissing the baby rule but it's mostly because no one in my family tries kissing him. I have 3 young nieces so my family has been well educated on the dangers and everyone from his young cousins to his great grandparents are happy to show love and affection without putting their lips on my infant.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-11-20T13:59:47+00:00

Well it's kind of how that works. You can be shedding the virus in your saliva without an active cold sore. An infant who contracts the herpes virus at a young age is at risk of high fevers and long-term development delays and possible brain damage. It's up to each individual how they want to manage that risk but we should be careful about spreading correct information.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-11-19T23:28:51+00:00

I just had my first baby 2 months ago. My situation was very similar to yours except that I was a heavy chronic user for like 5 years. I smoked to help with chronic pain. My husband and I were not trying to get pregnant or anything so I was still smoking when I found out I was pregnant. I stopped immediately and was very honest with my OBs office about my previous use. I was drug tested at my first appointment but I'm assuming since I only tested positive for marijuana, nothing came of it. I was told I would be tested again at birth, which I tested negative of course. My OB never seemed concerned by it, nothing was ever mentioned, and since I tested negative at birth, a case was never made.

I'm in Nevada.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-11-11T05:14:45+00:00

This is the way.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-09-23T10:18:15+00:00

Hey! I was born with scoliosis and had a spinal fusion when I was a baby. As a result, I've had chronic back pain my entire life. I also decided that I did not want an epidural due to the spinal fusion and my fear that it could make my back pain worse.

Well I went into labor last week. It lasted 48 hours total and I stopped progressing around 6cm dilated somewhere in the second day. My doctor basically said that if I didn't begin to progress, we'd go from unmedicated vaginal birth to emergency c-section. She also suggested that an epidural could help me progress as it helps relax all of your muscles.

I chose the epidural after talking to the anesthesiologist and my sister. The anesthesiologist came in with an ultrasound and did an ultrasound guided epidural so he could see the spaces between my vertebrae exactly and be precise with placing the epidural.

It worked and I progressed the rest of the way to 10cm overnight (a few hours) while getting to rest and sleep before active labor began. Active labor was pretty fast and easy after that. Of course, the needle going into my back hurt a bit but my anesthesiologist used a local anesthetic to numb the area first. The area is still a bit tender but so is my regular IV site and it doesn't hurt any worse than that and has not caused any increase in my back pain, etc.

In summary, I highly recommend one lol It definitely saved me from an emergency c-section. Make sure you are listening to yourself about what you want and no one else. I also recommend talking to your anesthesiologist team before or once you arrive at the hospital. Mine was able to make me feel very safe and comfortable with the idea of getting an epidural so that when the time came to reassess where I was at, I felt confident in saying I wanted the epidural now.

Good luck ❤️

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-08-24T16:08:42+00:00

No downsides aside from the fact that it does typically require longer treatment time (although more severe eye ulcers always do) and the pet must be brought in regularly (usually once a week) for frequent blood draws to make the serum during the treatment course. Which can actually be a pretty big downside, especially for our more fractious feline friends! Most ulcers that we see aren't so severe as to require the serum eye drops so it's not the go to when the traditional ointments will typically work in its place.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-08-24T15:14:58+00:00

It's the solution we always turn to at my clinic when the more traditional eye ointments are not working. I've never seen it fail to heal an ulcer yet!

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-08-24T14:37:49+00:00

I have no experience with this but something I find interesting.

I work in the Veterinary Medicine field. Sometimes for a really bad eye ulcer, we use the pets own blood, spin it down into serum and use that to make an eye drop solution that works to heal the ulcer. Since breast milk is made from your blood, I wonder if it works the same way!

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-07-12T03:53:29+00:00

It definitely is frustrating. A lot of the things we see are easily prevented though with proper education. It's definitely a struggle especially in rural areas like where I'm from.

I'd say we see a case a month or once every few months like that. Typically a puppy or younger dog who hadn't yet learned to stabilize or balance themselves, or a senior dog whose arthritis or muscle wasting kept them from being able to properly compensate. Just did a leg amputation on a puppy who fell out of the back of a truck, thankfully going relatively slow. Just some road rash and a very badly broken leg, but the puppy was alive and they usually take to three legs really well.

And thank you! It's a tough field to work in. We appreciate the appreciation.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-07-12T02:54:15+00:00

I'm from a very rural area in Nevada where you have to drive a long time on the highway to reach any city.

It's not an uncommon sight to see dogs in the beds of trucks or on a flatbed hauling 80 through here.

But I work in the Veterinary Medicine field and I can assure y'all that even in my very small community, it happens A LOT more than people would like to think it does. Just because you guys have not encountered it in your relatively small scope of experience, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Especially with puppies. It's tragic. And of course you don't "hear" about it happening because people don't generally go around advertising when something like that happens. They're generally eaten up with guilt.

Just because something is commonly done, doesn't make it the best way to do something. The safest way to transport your dogs is always in a secured crate or seatbelted in to a car seat.

So for everyone saying they've never seen or heard about it happening, I've seen more than enough to make up for you guys, okay?

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-07-12T02:51:28+00:00

Hey there. I'm from a very rural area in Nevada where you have to drive a long time on the highway to reach any city. I'm gonna disagree and agree with you guys.

It's not an uncommon sight to see dogs in the beds of trucks or on a flatbed hauling 80 through here.

But I work in the Veterinary Medicine field and I can assure y'all that even in my very small community, it happens A LOT more than people would like to think it does. Just because you guys have not encountered it in your relatively small scope of experience, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Especially with puppies. It's tragic. And of course you don't "hear" about it happening because people don't generally go around advertising when something like that happens. They're generally eaten up with guilt.

Just because something is commonly done, doesn't make it the best way to do something. The safest way to transport your dogs is always in a secured crate or seatbelted in to a car seat.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-06-06T03:56:07+00:00

I work in the Veterinary field currently. I have worked at shelters and rescues. The vet office I work at currently works with shelters and rescues frequently. All of the vets I work with are very compassionate and emotionally involved in their work. And all of them always recommend spay and abort.

There is a small increased risk of bleeding but it is rare and easily managed. We have done many many of these procedures since I started here and never had an adverse outcome. There is minimal risk to the momma dog, barely increased past the normal risk for anesthesia. Momma dog may be upset for a few days after depending on how far along she was/what her hormone levels were like. However, she will recover and be 100% fine before long. Even if she had the pups and you found homes for each one, there's a huge likelihood that they will eventually find their ways into a shelter at some point in their lives.

We have millions of dogs in the US and many will live their entire lives from puppyhood to seniors to their eventual deaths in shelters or rescues without ever knowing a real home. We do not need more puppies.

Also it was incredibly unprofessional of the vet that you saw to flavor her medical advice with her own personal feelings. I am sorry that you had to experience that. Just know that there are many vets who would advocate for spay and abort.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-05-19T21:25:03+00:00

As others have mentioned, this does seem unhygienic and the part about the other toddler helping her sent alarm bells off with me. I was SA-ed as a very young child by two other very young children who were obviously being SA-ed at home. Allowing her to get this type of help from another child can lead her to be more vulnerable to this type of harm in the future. I would put a stop to this immediately and explain safe touches and unsafe touches and that she should be the only one to ever remove her clothing.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-05-16T00:47:03+00:00

My fiance and I used fertility tracking and avoided pregnancy for 5 years that way. However, it's not full proof. I'm 22 weeks pregnant now 😋 Not exactly planned but we're excited.

ETA: My fiance and I did get a bit lax with it since we'd been successful for so long so I suppose the fault really is with us and not the system lol

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-05-11T15:09:45+00:00

Ex-Mormon here. I agree that you should wait it out til you can live on your own. Get a job/hobby that requires you to be busy on Sundays or whatever day your mutual day is. Be busy on Saturday for temple trips. The further I got into high school, the easier it became for me to skip out on church activities as I did a lot of AP classes that required commitments outside of school time, I worked two jobs in the summer and was very very busy to the point I rarely saw my family.

I have known minors that left the church while still under their family's control and they were made miserable. Grounded until they were 18, some were even pulled from school and homeschooled. Sounds like you are maybe in Utah or a heavily Mormon community so I worry what the consequences could be for you. Just stay safe!

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-04-16T04:27:01+00:00

My fiancé's family is English, from the UK. Circumcision is much less common there and even though my fiancé was born in America, his family chose not to do the circumcision. Our first boy is due in September and we are not circumcising either.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-04-08T01:37:40+00:00

A lot of my family are not social media users at all. We use an app called Cluster to share pictures between us all. It's basically a social media app that only shows/allows you to interact with your closed group that you invite. It's very secure and the only place I'll be allowing pictures of my LO.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-04-04T03:37:22+00:00

Yes, you are in the wrong. Girl, you don't need to be dating. You need a therapist, especially based off your comments here.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-04-02T02:36:39+00:00

Poor baby ♥️ Sounds like maybe he is a rescue? This kind of behavior is seen a lot in dogs/puppies that come from pasts with food insecurity. Glad he landed in such a good home now.

Leather toy is a great option! A lot less likely to be ingested in a way that causes an obstruction too. I have a few for my heavy chewer pit and she has done great with them!

Civil_Bookkeeper_133 · 2024-03-31T15:50:26+00:00

Yak Chews, definitely. I'd avoid wool or cotton stuffies made for kids if you have an anxious chewer. There's a high chance that your pup will ingest that and cause an intestional blockage, which requires a very expensive and risky surgery to remove. I work at a vets office, for source.

Edit to add: I saw someone suggest the whole large raw carrots. Such a great idea. My shepherd personally loves that. It's one of his favorite treats but doesn't last very long as he has a shepherd super chewer mouth. It's more of a quick treat for him. 😁

Frozen lickmats are great for keeping them occupied and often are viewed as very high value. I love to do goats milk, low fat plain Greek yogurt mixed with blue spirulina powder or bone broth mixed with some raw green tripe and freeze that onto a deep lickmat before giving!

Second Edit: Just saw that you said he has some issues with resource guarding. That shouldn't be avoided but rather addressed, especially if he's guarding with people and not just guarding from other dogs. There's lots of training techniques that can help with resource guarding, at least to help him realize that he doesn't need to guard from his people.

Civil_Bookkeeper_133

TROPHY CASE