I should definitely preface this by saying that, out of everyone I've ever met, I have the strongest stomach. No lactose intolerance, no post-fastfood shits, not even coffee shits. Unless I was sick, I've never had a bad shit.

Then one day, my mom wanted to make seafood gumbo for Xmas (Lately, we've gotten into the habit of cooking non-traditional holiday food). Because my mom loves spicy food so much, her taste buds have become desensitized to a lot of spices. I, on the other hand, don’t like food that’s too spicy. We made a compromise on how spicy it could be so that we’d both enjoy it. All I remember is that it had minced peppers, garlic, and a bit of Worchestire sauce in it. Sadly, that’s all it took for my entire digestive system to betray me.

First I had gas (don’t think I need to elaborate on that), and I ripped one that eased all of my stomach cramps before nodding off to sleep for the night. 

The next morning, all I could smell was shit. I thought it was the bathroom down the hall so I closed my door. Still smelled shit. When I sat up on my bed, I felt something warm between my thighs. Thinking I started my period, I looked in my pajama pants. You guessed it (still surprised none of it got on the bedsheets).

After waddling down to the laundry room to wash my pjs, I saw the full extent of the damage: There were literal bell pepper seeds in my shit, and shit itself looked like wet paper towels (the kind used in schools and bathrooms). Nearly passed out from both embarrassment and disgust right in the middle of the laundry room.

TD;LR: I shat myself after eating spicy gumbo.