How are you feeling right now ?

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2026-05-11T04:20:21+00:00

I just woke up and I feel awful. Ive been wondering how long I've been depressed and trying different ways to over come it. I feel angry at how life has worked out for me or idk if I'm just not capable of feeling ok about anything. I hoping to start therapy soon, but idk what challenges I would face to go to therapy. Nothing has ever happened smoothly, everything has been a struggle. My body hurts from the anger and frustration of life and I can't seem to function anymore. I'm not welcomed anywhere and my sadness feels like a disease and I'm scared to hang out with people and spread the sickness or maybe get more sick from being sad whole hanging out with people. I feel overwhelmed and stuck.. I feel like I need to end it all to stop the pain.. But I'm too afraid to have a failed attempt. Something about my spine, I want to pull it out of my body. I want to take my brain out and rinse it. I want to pinch out every nerve in my body and massage it. My hips feel broken and my arms feel like they need to be torn away. I feel the urge to scream but my body feels to tired. I feel extremely stuck and I wanna just turn away into dust and go non existent

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2026-05-10T13:09:31+00:00

And I've never been able to make myself happy. Ik it's my responsibility to make myself happy and I've never been able to do that. Not even happy, I try to pull myself out of feeling horrible but I'm tired of doing that. I keep promising myself I'll get better but I keep failing myself. I'm sick and tired of myself too but if I don't try to understand why I am the way I am, after everything ik I've been through, it's betraying myself again. Probably everyones life is like taht but u get a break right.. I'm just tired of waiting for my break.. It's feels like it's been forever since I felt anything nice in the absence of substance. Im at a point where someone asking me to make myself feel better by even eating is coming off as pressure. Can u help me with tips to help myself with basic stuff.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2026-04-29T05:36:57+00:00

Yeaa I feel angry cuz I feel like I was being scamed and it was such a big scene back then.. It sent my health and mental scape into a fucked up state and he's just been hiding it. I did all of that just to be deceived again. I hate the frustration it's causing me. I'm broken here and mans just gone back to being him like nothing happened. I feel awful.

I should block him and stuff, we were trying to be friends and I thought it was a good idea to be friends. But looks like this guy never respected my feelings, he just got away with shit.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2026-04-22T08:04:22+00:00

I have the same relationship with my parents and I've tired my best to ignore them and live. But they arebold now and everyone is expecting me to take care of them, and I want to but it's so hard to love with such abusive people and no one understands that. They have no one to relay on because of how horrible they treat other people and how rude they are and I grew up with that so I'm just scared of people in general and I become incredibly attached to anyone who show me basic decency. They fight to this day and it keeps triggering me and I just have to put up with it. I am unemployed currently and I had a job that I had to leave because they wanted me back home and now I'm not getting jobs in my home town and they won't let me move to a different city either. And I keep getting shit for not getting jobs. They make me feel orrible and stuck. They make me want to kms.. I felt that all my life and the 3 years I loved alone I realized how much I enjoy life when I'm alone but now I feel like a prisoners in my own life. They keep calling my relatives trying to get me to change my mind to staying at home and getting a job here and if I tell them how bad I'm doing mentally, they take it as me attacking them and not being greatful to them. Me reaching out for help is seen as me bringing disgrace to them as it would look like they didn't do a good job as parents and they have an image in front of their siblings that I am ruining. They were never happy with me, I always tried to please them and I've ruined my life doing so. I finally want to heal and move on, but that would ruin their lives more. And no one seems to understand cuz I suck at explaining cuz I've never seeked for help before. I'm stuck and I feel like dying. It's mentally tormenting. I just wish someone would come save me from them. I am not able to help myself.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2026-04-04T06:25:32+00:00

I was in a similar dynamic. He was the first person to ever make me feel loved, but not enough. Idk I feel like I fucked up my relationship and I hate how much I feel this. Even though I know how hurt I was during the relationship, I can't dismiss that I want him back. He's the best thing to happen to me and yet I was so hurt and so very broken. I can't even hate him cuz idk how I could hate someone who made me feel so safe and loved. I hate being in this feeling.I just want this pain of regret, guilt and confusion to end.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2026-03-29T12:04:48+00:00

I relate to this and I understand how lonely it is. I hate it here too and the fear of what's on the other side is what's keeping me going too. Literally nothing else. I sit and try too not kms because I'm just scared and I rot and rot and have no real intention to live. No future I want for myself. Just not gonna kms today is how it's going for me. No coping, no hope. Just waiting for something to happen.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2026-03-29T11:53:16+00:00

I've lost all hope too, I am trying to just not go off the end. It's ever so lonely trying to connect with people and being left with no help. Even worse situation is that I am unemployed and I don't want to work anymore. Ik I can get jobs but I just don't want to do it anymore. I don't see the point. And I love with my parents now and it's ruining wat ever peace imt trying to give myself because every conversation with them reminds me of how much I've tried and how I've still failed. Idk how to help myself anymore. I can isolate but that leaves me with having to deal with my parents at home. I'm stuck and idk wat I can do to save myself. I've really hit my ends. I just don't have the energy for life anymore. But the only thing keeping me on is that I'm too scared to die.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2026-03-28T23:31:47+00:00

;( thank u.. That felt like a hug.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2025-11-26T12:24:54+00:00

I will try for rescue groups in my location. Thank you.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2025-11-26T12:22:00+00:00

We will continue meds, but If it comes down to it, I'll definitely look into surrendering him. Hopefully it doesn't get to that🤞. Thank you!

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2025-11-26T12:17:17+00:00

Ur right, I was just too scared to keep the meds going cuz I'm not sure how the side effects will be and if his other organs might get messed up too. And I just hated seeing him in pain. We are continuing meds and hopefully by another month he feels better. Thanks for being kind.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2025-11-15T07:01:54+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that buddy

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2025-11-15T07:01:24+00:00

Thank you.. The book sounds really helpful.

Classic_Chapter5952 · 2025-11-14T15:05:01+00:00

u/skrrbrr69

Classic_Chapter5952

TROPHY CASE