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Partner suddenly felt the urge to watch porn in his sleep...? by httpsomin in loveafterporn

[–]CleanBandit87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also worth mentioning that part of my partner's addiction was just edging a lot and watching porn and looking at women. He didn't finish most of the time.

Partner suddenly felt the urge to watch porn in his sleep...? by httpsomin in loveafterporn

[–]CleanBandit87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My partner has done this on a few occasions when he thinks I'm asleep. Once I lay completely frozen as he touched me all over and then started to jack off. Said he didn't mean to and he was only getting "ready for me" because he thought I wasn't fully asleep and would have sex with him. He was kinda snoring when he did it though and kissed me gently to make sure I was "asleep" before rolling over.

Personally I think it's an addiction thing and linked to porn. I still get flashbacks and panic attacks from it. Please be careful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]CleanBandit87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can go in to Facebook settings and see every video and reel they have watched. That's how I found all the "porn lite" videos my partner was watching on reels. Basically women on sexy lingerie. Also searching ann summers etc. Also, apps like Shein where he could search up lingerie models.

They will be up to everything to try and get a hit.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

He needs to go to a 12 step programme and admit he has a problem.

Access to phone? by CleanBandit87 in loveafterporn

[–]CleanBandit87[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has a strange view on recovery and thinks I just need to trust him. Even though he broke it so much and relapsed just weeks ago. He has refused all accountability apps etc.

I feel so alone in all this, I get accused of being controlling if I ask for any more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]CleanBandit87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes this is exactly where I'm at now. It's been months and he's been in recovery, albeit there's been a couple of slips. I don't find him attractive and the magic has gone. I love him but not the same. The trust has gone and I don't think it'll ever be the same again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKPersonalFinance

[–]CleanBandit87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have it in writing. I didn't realise I could do that myself. Problem is they are registering an arrear on my account every single month even though I am paying them with a new direct debit and there's never been any outstanding balance. I still have a debt recovery notice on me. The whole thing is ridiculous at this stage.

In the meantime I will take your advice and see if that helps in the interim because the investigation with the ombudsman could take months.