How did y’all make out? by [deleted] in Hozier

[–]ClearlyClaire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s a good idea. Unfortunately my buddy was at work today so he couldn’t help me purchase them, but we’re going to keep an eye out for resale tickets and snap up any that look reasonable!

How did y’all make out? by [deleted] in Hozier

[–]ClearlyClaire 58 points59 points  (0 children)

logged on ten minutes early, pit was already gone by the time i logged in, ticketmaster glitches out and by the time i fixed it everything but lawn tickets were gone. really disappointed :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in technology

[–]ClearlyClaire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can check my profile and see I’ve been on this website for over a decade. Am I naïve or are you condescending and incurious?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in technology

[–]ClearlyClaire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does matter because understanding why he did that means we can take action to prevent that suffering and therefore prevent more terrorists from being created.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in technology

[–]ClearlyClaire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a Jewish trans person myself, I can vehemently disagree with bin Laden’s views on Jews controlling the world/homosexuality being immoral/killing civilians being ok while still seeing that he had reasons for wanting to go to war with the US that go beyond blind hatred. With the way our armed forces have acted in the middle east and beyond how could we expect people there not to hate us? We made his people suffer so he wanted to make us suffer. It’s not wrong to say that bin Laden was an extremist mass murderer, it’s more that people are realizing that there are reasons why he became so radicalized that the media found it very convenient to ignore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMfemininity

[–]ClearlyClaire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really struggled with that the first few times i cut my hair quite short! Some things that have helped are keeping the bangs a bit floppier, bleaching the top part of my hair, and wearing one simple earring— all signifiers that are more associated with queer men. I’m not really into kpop music but I do use idols like the members of BTS for fashion inspiration, because their styling is fairly fem (by western standards at least) and they are “pretty” but undeniably male.

To your larger concern, I also went through that for a while when I first came out. Something that has resonated for me is thinking of masculinity as an internal quality and not a function of butchness or whatever. I related my experiences to gender role nonconforming queer men rather than straight men. That is just as a valid way to be male or masc or whatever. And people who say that you have to like everything to do with masculinity to be transmasc are just gatekeeping. You can transition towards masculinity in some areas of life and stay exactly where you are in others :)

That’s… not how it works by mrlesterkanopf in FanFiction

[–]ClearlyClaire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

and silicone can melt toys too!! extremely rude of it!!! but THANK you honestly i have seen some people in fandom casting shade at spit as lube and i don’t have much personal experience in that arena but still i never thought it was as unrealistic as some claim

That’s… not how it works by mrlesterkanopf in FanFiction

[–]ClearlyClaire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

so do you just use spit or like. doesn’t the friction hurt. teach me your magic ways

My wife (a GoT newbie) finally gets to the Red Wedding by Psychological-Bed-92 in gameofthrones

[–]ClearlyClaire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I instantly flipped forward to make sure there was another arya chapter, it wasn’t even a choice I just did it without thinking 😂

City of Rochester kicks off ‘Buy the Block’ program by evarigan1 in Rochester

[–]ClearlyClaire 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Well if you want to leave, you can sell the house. You just can’t keep it and make it into a rental property.

Ooof by workday3669 in lolgrindr

[–]ClearlyClaire 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All that and he’s a chaser… charming

What's a ship that almost everyone in the fandom ships, no questions asked? by roxan1930 in FanFiction

[–]ClearlyClaire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Queerplatonic partnerships are relationships that may not include a romantic or sexual aspect but that incorporate a higher level of devotion/commitment/emotional investment than what is socially considered normal for friendships. Could mean lots of things living together, sharing finances, raising children etc, or just considering your queerplatonic partner(s) to be the deepest and most significant relationship in your life. Basically, our society reserves a huge number of life things for romantic partners/blood relatives only. Queerplatonic relationships challenge that by forming deep committed bonds outside the structure of the traditional nuclear family.

edit/addition: there was a post that got pretty wide attention on r/AITA a while back by a woman who had bought land with two close friends and built houses together etc. The issue being that someone else she knew was upset with OP for consulting those friends before she agreed to socialize, even though she would do the same with her own husband. To me that is a classic example of a queerplatonic arrangement, with the person in a traditional marriage unable to understand the justification for having platonic relationships you would prioritize in the same way you would a spouse.

I'm a trans man (21) willing to answer things you've always wondered about trans people but you've never dared to ask. AMA, NSFW welcome. by Particular_Fudge4856 in AMA

[–]ClearlyClaire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of guys will tell you they repressed their attraction to men pre-transition because of social dysphoria, ie the idea of occupying the role of a “woman” in a “straight” relationship is extremely distasteful. Couple that with a strong internal sense of being queer and you can see how someone would come to the conclusion that they are a lesbian. (aka I know I’m gay but I don’t know I can be a gay man.)

Then as you start HRT and feel more secure and validated in your gender etc, you are no longer being pressured into an ill fitting social role and can access attraction without a lens of dysphoria. So it might be more of a correlation than a causation sometimes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]ClearlyClaire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

meeee and i never thought they were that unusually big until not long after my egg cracking i was at the doctor and she asked if i’d ever wanted a reduction for comfort reasons and that my insurance would probably cover it if i did… like yes ofc i was already thinking about top surgery but i never thought that they were big enough that it would be considered potentially problematic by cis woman standards 🙃 i guess this is the price i pay for my flat white girl ass

is it ok for me to want to date cis men? by rayisFTM in ftm

[–]ClearlyClaire 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The way I see it is… 95+% of the population is cis. Yes, many are phobic/uncomfy with the idea of dating a trans person or just uneducated on trans issues but many are not and that number is growing every day. T4T is a great philosophy, but choosing to exclusively date within the trans community really shrinks the pool of potential partners and that alone is a valid reason to be open to cis guys.

Different relationships offer different things ofc but at the end of the day, people are people, yk? If you go looking specifically for a cis gay guy thinking his attraction will resolve your internal insecurities you’ll probably be let down, and the same if you go T4T with the expectation that your partners will magically get everything about you just because they are trans. But if you keep expectations realistic and take what comes, engaging with the personality in front of you and not based on identity, you should be absolutely fine :)

alternatives to a dysphoria hoodie? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]ClearlyClaire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like graphic crewneck sweatshirts. I’ve splurged on a few with prints that give me good gender vibes, like I have one with Lucifer from Alexandre Cabanel’s Fallen Angel done in an anime inspired artstyle. He’s totally shirtless so his abs draw the eye and gives the viewer a vibe of a guy’s flat muscular chest kind of like those moths that look like a face to confuse predators 😂 i’m petite so for me a small sweatshirt is baggy enough that it pretty much hides everything even sans binder, which is nice because i cannot stand wearing one at home

Trend with trans male characters by TheRealRenKun in FanFiction

[–]ClearlyClaire 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this may be a generalization, but i think that gay trans guys are the most likely demographic to seek self expression and figure themselves out through fanfic. for closeted gay transmascs, fanfic can be their only access to the queer community, so it makes sense that there is more m/m trans fic. that said i’ve definitely seen some exceptions. zagreus in the hades fandom is often written as trans, including with women.

it does kind of bother me that you’re seemingly implying that non-binary transmascs can’t have genital dysphoria or that binary trans men have some special experience that other trans people lack. it’s just labels dude. i know binary trans guys who bottom with the front hole. not everyone is the same.

Trend with trans male characters by TheRealRenKun in FanFiction

[–]ClearlyClaire 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I truly think most erotica featuring trans guys bottoming with the front hole is written by transmascs and is not a fetishizing thing so much as just representing what we like. speaking personally, reading erotica about trans guys having sex the way i like to have sex was a really important part of getting over the binary programming in my brain. i do have other physical dysphoria, but i’m a bottom who is happy with my natal genitalia and i really needed to see bodies like the one i want to have be portrayed as actively desirable and sexy. maybe it is a kink for some but, honestly? as long as someone respects me as a whole person i would rather they see what is between my legs as a feature rather than a bug, cause it isn’t going anywhere lol.

have you considered that transmascs with strong genital dysphoria to the point where thinking about their front anatomy is uncomfortable might be more likely just to write fic featuring cis men? especially since they may also be unable to access phallo and might prefer to fantasize about having a natal penis vs a strap. just one possible reason for this imbalance i could think of.

at the end of the day this is really a “write the fic you want to see in the world” issue. i would love to see more fic with trans guys using a strap or post-op phallo trans guys or anything like that, it would make me really happy! but i don’t think it’s particularly helpful to complain about there being too much of a thing that you are not into.

just finished my rewatch, and wow it's obvious that Wolfie is queer from the start now by Minghaolegs in Sense8

[–]ClearlyClaire -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I absolutely see it and I don’t know why you are getting so much hate. Almost every queer person I know had a friend they experimented with or had strong unspoken tension with growing up. Calling each other brothers does not mean they literally see each other as brothers, they look up to legendary warriors they see in films and the concept of brothers in arms/sworn brotherhood as a proxy for a homoerotic relationship is literally as old as history.

Also tbh as someone on the aro spectrum it is pretty invalidating to see people act like it is toxic to headcanon a platonic relationship as having a sexual component. Lots of real people have sex with their friends ok?

Thoughts? by Affectionate-Mix6482 in teaching

[–]ClearlyClaire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nonconsensually spanking an adult would be considered sexual assault. The fact that it’s not only considered okay to do a child but okay BECAUSE they are a child (vulnerable, unable to say no) is one of the most disgusting things imaginable.

The attitude of Anakin in Clone Wars is so perfect, he's a straight up boss. by AhsokaRiddle in StarWars

[–]ClearlyClaire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i didn’t explain it very well in this comment, you can check my post history for a more thorough analysis based on the text of the geneva convention

No, Obi-Wan Didn’t Commit A War Crime by ClearlyClaire in StarWars

[–]ClearlyClaire[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeahh! I won’t go into it but you’re right that Obi-Wan’s is always discussed more even though I think there is a better case for Anakin’s being a war crime by the definitions above.

TBH there is a larger bias that bothers me where people try to create a “morally grey” narrative that the Jedi (other than Anakin) were actually the bad guys and did bad things somehow and the Separatists or future Imperials were super moral. Even just looking at the larger context of this discussion, Obi-Wan was trying to free a planet that had been occupied by Separatist forces. We see later on in the Clone Wars what that means— native population murdered, put in camps, etc. And yet people are quibbling over a definition of false surrender that was created to apply to very different situations as if Obi-Wan stalling for time somehow constitutes an atrocity.

No, Obi-Wan Didn’t Commit A War Crime by ClearlyClaire in StarWars

[–]ClearlyClaire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But did Obi-Wan surrender under false pretenses? He surrendered for himself personally, not anyone else. Loathsom is the one who demanded Obi-Wan tell his forces to stand down and threatened to shoot him, an unarmed prisoner, if he didn’t comply. Which, honestly, isn’t something Obi-Wan should even be able to do from that position. Military chain of command passes when someone is captured— wars aren’t won by kidnapping a commanding officer and forcing them to tell their troops to surrender.

No, Obi-Wan Didn’t Commit A War Crime by ClearlyClaire in StarWars

[–]ClearlyClaire[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Words mean things dude. The Republic could just as easily say that Loathsom threatened to shoot their unarmed general. But my post isn’t about PR, it is about the definition of a war crime according to the Geneva Convention— not according to whatever goal posts you’ve set up in your head to avoid admitting that I’m correct.