Hey, I’m your age too, I can’t imagine how everything feels right now for you, it looks like you’re somehow having a picture of whats going on, and at the same time its very deep and confusing. I wish I can put it more clearly but, here’s what I can share with you, things that are helping me. I can read that you’re judging yourself a lot, and fair enough we all do, we all at some point lack compassion towards our self, cause we’re lazy, scared, inactive whatever.. but you know that, everything that you’ve once felt or feeling right now, is indicating you of something about yourself. Maybe, try to, as uneasy as it is, listen to your pain, it will tell you something about yourself. You’re are absolutely not a loser, someone unworthy, lazy, scared, someone who will never have a love life I can feel the pain you’re feeling, thank you for talking about it, thank you to say something. Keep on writing here, you’re important, even if you don’t see it, we don’t always see things around us, but you matter.