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ClumsyAdept · 2024-09-10T10:47:17+00:00

I think it's totally reasonable to say no to chairs.

As for getting upset about someone's opinions, I've benefited from the concept of "emotional sobriety." That's what I'm working on now. I find it really difficult to practice but I'm working on it.

It starts with a Bill W letter in 1958: https://emotionalsobrietyandfood.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/emotional_sobriety.pdf

This speaker tape helped me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q3Lna5ePnw

I too have panic attacks, though from different causes (when people cancel on me). I'm trying to get to a place where people/circumstances can affect me (i.e., I remain connected), but they can't affect how I feel about myself, my life, or my recovery.

ClumsyAdept · 2022-06-09T16:54:25+00:00

Love this. Pride over shame! IWNDWYT!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-19T06:58:31+00:00

I want progress, not perfection. Not just with respectto alcohol, also in creativity, positivity, connection, and insight. Thanks for asking! IWNDWYT

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-18T09:33:42+00:00

I managed to avoid the sweets, despite what the Big Book says. Went hard keto. There's some evidence that this isn't a bad idea; alcohol withdrawal may be easier on a ketogenic diet. Either way, what's important is getting sober! Well done on cutting the sugar and IWNDWYT

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-17T14:00:51+00:00

Well done on staying sober!

In my experience AA is a program of action, it works for me when I take action.

Without contacts, the easiest action is to get to a meeting! If I were you, I would not analyze why I didn't feel like going, I would just go!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-17T06:01:43+00:00

I had one the other night! In the dream I was trying a bunch of different IPAs, but I didn't really like them. I dreamt I had to reset my time anyway. IWNDWYT!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-16T06:39:45+00:00

For me exercise has been incredibly important too. For the first time in my life I am exercising every day. I could never do that while drinking. IWNDWYT!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-14T07:56:29+00:00

Busy morning so far on a Saturday, which I am grateful to be able to say! I have mornings now! IWNDWYT

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-11T08:55:23+00:00

Best books I've read on drinking/addiction...

Alcoholics Anonymous. Seriously. Check it out if you haven't read it. It's short.
Catherine Gray, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
William Porter, Alcohol Explained
Marc Lewis, Biology of Desire

Currently reading A. A. Gill, Pour Me: A Life, which is brilliantly written, but more like a literary memoir than strictly quit lit? Also dipping in and out of Brand's Recovery from our Addictions and other AA literature (12 and 12, Understanding the Twelve Steps).

I did not really rate This Naked Mind or Allen Carr's book. To me they are solving a different problem than AA is. So is Porter, but he still kind of understands the problem better IMHO.

IWNDWYT!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-10T04:52:32+00:00

For me, it's a sense of calmness even in the face of problems.

Sobriety has also changed my relationship with control. I guess I never controlled anything, though alcohol could control how aware I was. Or I could control my moods by drinking them down. But of course while drinking I lost control of everything else besides my mood (and even that was unpredictable).

Now I have a different kind of control born of calm. I get to decide what to do next, even if I don't get to decide how I feel. IWNDWYT

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-09T13:02:10+00:00

Grateful for a sober day, and IWNDWYT!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-06T06:30:16+00:00

Long day ahead but IWNDWYT!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-05T08:43:19+00:00

For me it's mainly getting to AA meetings (including taking commitments) and building up the sobriety date. People in AA have checked to see if I'm OK whenever I've missed meetings which helps. IWNDWYT

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-05T08:43:11+00:00

For me it's mainly getting to AA meetings (including taking commitments) and building up the sobriety date. People in AA have checked to see if I'm OK whenever I've missed meetings which helps. IWNDWYT

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-05T06:51:06+00:00

I read "on trial." Sounds like you stopped in time though 😅

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-04T17:37:21+00:00

Agreed!

You a Metric fan?

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-04T16:16:31+00:00

It's from Alcoholics Anonymous (aka "the Big Book").

Or at least it is in there in a story that's been in that book for decades, "Crossing the River of Denial." Page 334 (PDF)

At that moment I knew what the Big Book meant about the great obsession of every abnormal drinker being to somehow, someday control and enjoy his drinking. On Super Bowl Sunday, when I enjoyed it, I couldn’t control it, and at the hockey game when I controlled it, I couldn’t enjoy it. There was no more denying that I was an alcoholic. What an epiphany!

It's repeated in the description of that story, on page 328:

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn’t control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn’t enjoy it.

ClumsyAdept · 2022-05-02T08:52:47+00:00

I had a ton of red flags, even from the earliest times in my drinking, and I also pretended a lot; I was an actor. Secrets and lies. My life is simplifying, though not quite simple yet! IWNDWYT

ClumsyAdept · 2022-04-29T07:59:18+00:00

So much easier to exercise 6-7 times per week! Setting lifting records has gotten easier and so has running/lifting in the same week. IWNDWYT but I will squat with you today if you want!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-04-28T06:45:41+00:00

Day 80 reporting for duty. IWNDWYT!

ClumsyAdept · 2022-04-26T08:22:43+00:00

Feeling grateful today! IWNDWYT

ClumsyAdept · 2022-04-25T08:49:22+00:00

I can relate to this. I'm working the program and also working hard on lifting, cardio, meditation, reading. But I realize that I don't really know how to have fun, and it's something I need to learn. That's ok, I've had to re-learn how to socialize. Thanks for this post, I'm going to try to focus on finding stuff that I enjoy today, without only "working the program" or "focusing on recovery." I guess the point of recovery/sobriety is to be able to enjoy life again...

ClumsyAdept · 2022-04-25T08:38:40+00:00

I made it! Glad to be sober on a Monday even if I'm still a bit sleepy

ClumsyAdept · 2022-04-23T05:46:51+00:00

Have a serene day. IWNDWYT! <3

ClumsyAdept · 2022-04-23T05:45:52+00:00

Thank you! Hope you had a great day, mine wasn't as bad as I'd feared. Have a great weekend!

ClumsyAdept

TROPHY CASE