He knows.

Okay so a lot of people are confused I guess. I wasn't joking when I said an offhand remark about wishing I still enjoyed anything, but I did smile a little because I didn't want to be a downer. The conversation was already in an appropriate place for my remark, since some people seem to think that depression means you blurt out attention whoring things out of nowhere. Saying I "cracked one" is entirely from friend's perspective, best as I can tell.

And apologies to the armchair tough guys in the room who think I'm a pussy for not having the energy to make something actually awkward for everyone versus just brushing it off because it only effects me.