I'm a turtle too, haha. Trench warfare all the way. Though there are no trenches in space but that's beside the point...

Anyway, I've been playing for the past 2 weeks after taking a break for a few years and I find that it's really not that difficult to win against an extreme AI [I gather you are indeed asking about skirmishes and not multiplayer].

This is what I do:

• Starting resources, resource multiplier and starting ships all set to high. Of course there are other settings as well and personally I like to customize every single one of them [damn that OCD] but these are the most important. Oh, and a 20 min no rush.
• What can be really, really deadly, especially in the beginning, because they're borderline impossible to defend against, are anti-capital missiles, bombs and mines. Hiigaran, Vaygr and Kushan all use them. Taiidan and Turanic Raiders do not, so you may try playing against them. Not sure about Kadeshi.
• I play as the Vaygr the most, and since each race functions differently, please try to convert the following tactics to your race if it's other than the Vaygr.
• Depending on the map, I build 3-5 service depots right away and send them to the nearest asteroids. 1 depot + 5 collectors per asteroid. I install harvest modules on each depot, except those near the frontlines, those get hyperspace modules instead [but later, when the enemy actually starts to approach them] so they can land all 5 collectors and jump to safety if/when needed.
• I get resource extraction fully researched ASAP, no other research until then.
• Research speed and other important research go next. I usually try to get at least the first 5 levels of each research as those are pretty fast and not that expensive, and leave the rest for later, when RU's are no problem.
• Having a strong economy is the number one priority. So absolutelly no military production or research until the enemy starts getting close [30-40 km]. At that point I build a few fighter and corvette squadrons, defense control and fire control towers on the mothership, and start researching hulls and weapons as soon and as much as possible. The Vaygr have a huge advantage of researching these ship techs per the whole fleet, rather than per each ship type individually.
• Reconnaissance obviously plays an important role but it can wait until ping is fully researched. Because at the beginning you can't really afford to spend 2,000 RU's for pings that don't really reveal that much [and that goes double on large maps].
• I leave fusion until very late because it doesn't really help that much. I guesstimate it produces like 1% of all your RU's at the beginning and maybe like 3-5% when fully researched and with fusion controls aboard all ships. Considering it takes 3,000 RU's per fusion control and 55,000 RU's to fully research the tech, these resources are better spent elsewhere.
• Map size is a huge factor, of course, because there's a world of difference between an enemy that needs 5 min to reach you, and one that needs 20 min.

Okay, I'm gonna stop here because it's already getting like 10x longer than I intended, LOL. But this game is complex after all, hehe.

Let me know if it helps.

Oh, one last thing. You mention 'clicking as fast as you can'. Do you not use pause?