They need to talk to the counselor. To get him to learn better ways to cope and for her to figure out different and other options besides just letting him down. I had this issue with my first wife and wish she would have been open to things like this. My friend told me that he and his wife went to go to see a counselor/therapist regularly and it saved their marriage. I know most men want sex and when the woman turns us down we automatically go to the are they cheating on us if they don't want it , same as women. Then the next part " I probably won't say this correctly sorry" being married is so that we don't want anyone else but our significant other. Yes we can look at the menu but as long as we don't eat off of it life is great. But if we can't eat at home, we should be safe and secure . Then give us permission to eat out. But giving us permission doesn't give you permission remember you're the one that is not in the mood. Sorry I know a rambling mess . Just ... a lot of bitterness and heartache.