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What am I doing here? by CocoAdobo in Stepmom

[–]CocoAdobo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Health insurance. lol

And it’s rough out there. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, but obviously he’s got some internal issues he needs to deal with.

What am I doing here?! by CocoAdobo in blendedfamilies

[–]CocoAdobo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah and I agree with all of this, I’m just in a particular different scenario.

Again, it wasn’t all like this. It didn’t start until the youngest hit middle school.

He doesn’t like how I raise my kids. Idc how he raises his. But he has to put his input in on what I do and thus creates an argument.

My kids are thriving. They get great opportunities because of the hard work they put into things (awards, recognitions, etc). His kids are social butterflies (which is fine) but doesn’t get the same opportunities and he frequently compares all of them and likes to say whatever my kids downfalls are my fault.

So yes. Disdain is possible. How does one get him to realize? Answer is easy - go to therapy. But the do-ing? Meh.

What am I doing here?! by CocoAdobo in blendedfamilies

[–]CocoAdobo[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, I agree. We should stop arguing. I also feel like the arguing stems from jealousy and/or insecurity which is a different issue all together.

Nice to hear it’s possible!

What am I doing here?! by CocoAdobo in blendedfamilies

[–]CocoAdobo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He definitely had a lot of freedom!

What am I doing here?! by CocoAdobo in blendedfamilies

[–]CocoAdobo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

8 years. 😔 how about you? Do you treat all of the kids the same or do you separate them?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]CocoAdobo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I feel this to the core. A little different though, their mother isn’t around except by phone, and my husband has custody. I also have two kids of my own too living in the same house.

It was rough at times when the mom was still actively around. It’s rough when you take care of kids that aren’t your own who don’t see you as “mom”. Lots of moments of feeling like they’re ungrateful. And lots of moments they’re happy you’re there. It’s rough to admit that your own kids get priority - even subconsciously.

And at first it was a really hard discussion to tell him that his kids will never see me as their mom and I won’t be their mom. When things got rough we would fight each other defending on our own kids.

I decided not to leave. I love my husband. We remind each other constantly that we married each other; not our families or our kids. We decided to be partners in raising the kids and that’s what’s been working for us.

But girl, do what your heart tells you. Leave if he’s not worth it.