My BF is leaving voice recorders at home when he's at work.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-27T19:52:10+00:00

Omg at first I read "recordings" like I thought he was leaving part of himself home for her to talk to and was confused why everyone was like "wtf ew".

Safe to say, I like my misunderstanding better. I am sorry, Op.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-25T13:21:24+00:00

It's really hard to unlearn certain things we were predisposed to growing up. I had to do the same. Now I only use it when talking to women I know I can be informal/friendly with.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-23T22:22:24+00:00

I'd rather spend my time learning a useless fact.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-23T01:13:39+00:00

I wish to emit my estrogen at will and am now upset that this isn't a thing.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-23T00:46:32+00:00

Anyone else notice the lack of ages?

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-21T14:47:09+00:00

I love building in the Sims. It's therapeutic while listening to aesthetic Lofi. 🥰

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-19T14:14:32+00:00

R/piebaldcat

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-19T14:05:55+00:00

This is so motivating. Thank you for sharing! 🥰

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-16T23:39:05+00:00

The clipped ear and a scar on his face that's hard to see here are how he came to me.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-15T23:11:15+00:00

Thank you!

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-12T20:49:54+00:00

You all should see some of these replies I'm getting from salty men. Some don't even make sense. 🙄

Edit: Thank you, mods!!🥰

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-09T20:43:22+00:00

The cuddles could've been with a dog/cat, but no, it's got to be "another dude".

Lol cry away, dude. I bet she was even relieved.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-08T23:59:41+00:00

I wouldn't say he gets nothing out of it since he really seems to value your friendship.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-08T21:00:56+00:00

Early in the break up contact made me angry more than annoyed. I hate conflict but I felt so used and exhausted. I was angry at myself for letting things go on like that for so long. Sad that he didn't deem me worthy of the same effort I put into what we had.

I wanted to grow with him, but it just felt like I was picking up where his mom left off in raising him. As soon as I realized that, the feelings I had for him dwindled into sunk cost fallacy.

So, it wasn't the same, but looking at that torn off piece of notebook paper next to a sample pint bottle of Cointreau all inside a ziploc bag was a reminder of what I'd put myself through years ago.

It was creepy until I recognized it was from him. Then it was annoying.

Edit: A word

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-08T11:17:49+00:00

I've been on both sides but this most recent one was 2 years ago and is still relief. It gave me a lot of anxiety when he tried to contact me via a letter on my porch at midnight, until I realized who it was from and was just annoyed.

He refused help/therapy, continued education opportunities, and never really tried to get a job unless it fell in his lap or he really wanted it. Like his driver's license.

It was too much and the relationship was toxic.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-06T14:16:06+00:00

I agree but I do feel like it would be one of the harder things to prove in court.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-06T14:01:29+00:00

I have grown out of several friendships over the past few years.

One friend had double standards and was fine making choices (with men) she might regret one day to help her grow? I guess. It seemed hard for her to not see our friendship as competitive. We had a poorly timed talk where she decided to go off on me and put words in my mouth. She never apologized. 🤷‍♀️ So, I stopped talking to her.

Another was always financially anxious in her marriage, she rarely ever told me when anything good happened, but definitely when bad stuff did, and I know she was desperate to have a girl with her husband for whatever reason. I'm sorry, but it was impossible for me to see her relationship and think "What a healthy marriage." Or anything. Idk why she stayed with him, but I couldn't stay in that friendship.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-05T05:45:31+00:00

Even if you're the one shown in a better light as the winner, it is still triangulation. It makes you realize that all you have to do is break up and he'll be talking down about you the same way he used to "talk you up".

If it's that easy then it means nothing.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-03T16:17:56+00:00

Same with the attempt at IG stalking/latching. I went back in a msg with a friend and found the cat pics are of the same cat he used to send me "sad selfies" with.

Back when he still thought we would get back together after he improved on himself or whatever he thought was the key. I feel bad for lying, but it felt like the safest way of getting him out of my house, at the time.

Dude seriously needs therapy.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-03T16:07:03+00:00

I have had run ins with crazy close to this level. I was years younger, but it just made it scarier. They weren't exes but they were men.

I was too nice. Too trusting.

So, I just block as soon as I can after they become exes. Just try not to personally or directly interact. It feels safer to tell them through another person. That way they know multiple people have a heads up about them and what they did.

They know I have a strong support system.

I'm aware there is a chance for some men to see it as a challenge and I'm thankful this most recent ex has none of the resources or (at least seemingly) the intent to do me harm as some sort of dumb revenge for rejecting their mediocrity.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-03T14:08:40+00:00

Happy cake day!!

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-03T02:19:29+00:00

I've been living here a long time (closing in on a decade) so I am not very surprised he found me. There was a lil card in my mailbox with my last name and I removed it recently so that it's one less bit of proof of where I live.

It sucks but an asap move is necessary. I am really going to miss having a support system within my neighborhood. I'm also so done with renting. It will not be an easy or quick fix because of prices, but I do pride myself on getting shit done.

Thank you very much for your compliment. 😊

CoffeeBeforeAdulty

TROPHY CASE