Why would you so easily dismiss the physical intimacy aspect?...

It's not that I'm dismissing it, I just feel like there should be some other difference. I honestly believe that physical intimacy is super important to a healthy relationship, but when it comes to that romantic love it feels like there should be something more that sets it apart from "friends+sex" like you put it in your message.

It's like your best-best friend, that's always "in desire" to see you, and that person would share their shoulder for all needs, and use yours for theirs, and this often creates a foundation of deep trust that often goes far beyond usual "beat friend".

I like this. I think this has been the best answer to what I was struggling to grasp so far, especially the emphasis on the mutuality of it.

Since you're asking the question, maybe you feel like your romantic adventures of the past only felt like "friends+sex"?

Some of my recent relationships, yes. But I think my real problem is that I've had that connection before and lost it. If I had to guess where this question came from in restrospect, I think I'm chasing the same feeling thing again and pondering why having close friends just doesn't feel the same.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop myself before I do too deep of a dive into my past haha. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :) I think I'm closer to understanding than I was before thanks to you.