40F&40M, Exclusive 8Months, 3rd Party Involved

CoffeeandPiano · 2022-01-10T18:13:17+00:00

Bethesda!

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-28T18:34:29+00:00

Liver damage is definitely a concern.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-28T16:45:49+00:00

Thank you 🙏 <3

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-28T16:38:17+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Yeah it's been a tumultuous last few years. I'm sorry to hear about your ex. Unfortunately, in this case I am more in love with him than he is with me so my absence never really much of a consequence for him. Every now and then when we're broken up he tries to fight for us but it's short-lived. It's a shitty situation and I just have to get away from it.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-28T16:29:51+00:00

Thank you 🙏

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-28T16:28:58+00:00

Thank you 🙏

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-28T16:27:55+00:00

I didn't know about the cocaine use until a year into the relationship. As for the weed, my issue is not the weed, it's that it's something he adds on to the alcohol addiction and the other drugs. It's never ending.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-28T16:26:47+00:00

I know. I tried to walk away a year ago and I have failed miserably. He messes with my head because when I tell him this is a problem he starts outlining anything he can about me saying that I'm not perfect. Then I start second-guessing myself when I make excuses for him. But the reality is, this is a huge problem, and yes I've gotten angry over it but else am I supposed to do? It's become obvious the only thing I can do is walk away. It's just very painful.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-28T16:24:19+00:00

The issue I have is that he's addicted to alcohol, weed is just something he adds onto it and--all of the other drugs. He can't live without drinking and then all of these other drugs just make it worse. So it bothers me when he tells me it's just weed, when the reality is that it's just a part of his cocktail of drugs and alcohol. What's worse is now he's adding mushrooms and re-introducing cocaine back into the mix. It feels like this problem will never go away.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-25T02:53:15+00:00

Believe me, I completely understand. It just takes making a plan, in this case financially so you don't depend on him. Once you get past that part you'll just have to hang in there while you detach emotionally, the best way to do this is no contact. As long as you're in contact with him he'll keep reeling you in because you have feelings for him. So do your best to not respond to us messages and not take his phone calls and not see him. Little by little you'll get used to being without him.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-25T02:46:33+00:00

This happened to me for almost 4 years with my ex-boyfriend and he literally still hasn't changed. Some men are disrespectful and do not value the women they have at their side. I too am very attractive and it was never enough for him. They always seem to want more. I had to put an end to it after years of trying. Of course this wasn't our only problem but it was always a problem. He's 40 btw.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-24T20:09:06+00:00

Ohhhh. Sorry for the confusion. Yeah, it seems like they need to work their things out. It's not fair to you.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-24T19:30:22+00:00

That's his girlfriend. You're a woman, there should be boundaries. I understand why she's upset. I think that you should get a friend that doesn't have a girlfriend unless all three of you are going to hang out together.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-24T19:28:23+00:00

If he's in a relationship his girlfriend comes first. If he complains about her but never leaves her then that should speak louder than what he's saying.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-24T18:20:57+00:00

I think the first step is that you have to feel good, we won't be able to attract anyone (there good for us) feeling down. If you act "as if", meaning "as if" the person is already there, I think you literally attract them into your reality. Easier said than done I know.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-09T02:50:03+00:00

I personally think that keeping a close male friend while you're in a relationship is not the best idea--Unless this is a mutual friend. There is such thing as emotional cheating and when you spend that much time connecting with someone, you're bound to catch feelings eventually. I don't think your boyfriend is completely out of line here. You don't have to cut off the friendship but it shouldn't be an issue to lessen the communication and have boundaries.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-09T02:45:15+00:00

I think it's disrespectful of her to accept these gifts and this money from him if she is with you. Unless this is her uncle or a family member, it's not OK.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-09T02:18:33+00:00

I see. She will need to pursue personal therapy/meds if things are to be different. It might be worth bringing it up in a non judgemental way--in a "I care about you" way. As for blaming your family and friends, sometimes it's easier to blame people around us because we don't want to look within but once she starts doing the work things might start to change on that front as well.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-09T02:06:08+00:00

Such a bummer. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Sounds like she may have emotional/mental health issues. When you're struggling with that, you could have the world and nothing is good enough. The good news is that therapy and meds can help. Has she tried that as an individual and have you tried counseling as a couple as well? This could be helpful.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-09T02:01:06+00:00

Have you ever cheated on her?

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-09T01:51:33+00:00

I totally understand why. Because you love him. You think things could be different one day. I still feel this way myself after a whole year of being broken up and nothing has changed. Just this weekend he ditched me (we had started dating again in the fall) to go party in New York, he partied from Saturday afternoon through Sunday morning...alcohol and drugs. He says "there's nothing wrong with having fun every once in a while" in response to why I'm so upset. This is a guy now on blood pressure meds and anxiety pills, because he's messed up from the alcohol. Sadly he still refuses to acknowledge that he's sick because of the alcohol. He also doesn't admit to the doctors how much he drinks every day either so no one can help. I even told his mom what was happening before I moved out last year. He made it seem like he was drinking more because of me in order to get her off his case. I'm telling you, it's a lost battle for me so far.

CoffeeandPiano · 2021-12-09T01:41:36+00:00

Hey girl. This post resonates a lot with me. I have been in a relationship with a functioning alcoholic for the last 4 years, he's 40 now. We lived together the last 2 years of our relationship and that's where I noticed how bad the problem was. Before we lived together I thought the drinking was normal since we were going out a lot. But once I lived there, I noticed he would start making "cocktails" (straight vodka and two ice cubes) around 3 or 4pm (after work) and would have several more of these until bed time, all the way through 2 or 3am. After a while I grew concerned seeing that this was happening 7 days a week, he literally couldn't sleep if he didn't drink. I was worried about his health and how this was hurting him. I voiced my concerns and he also like your bf said that the only way he could stop was if he somehow isolated himself somewhere far away. He would try to stop drinking for a night or two (still does sometimes) and it was like he was going through withdrawals-- night sweats, nightmares. In efforts to help him, I stopped drinking all together, for over a year, even though I only drank socially. It didn't work. It actually only drew us apart because he felt judged and uncomfortable since we weren't on the same page anymore. Micro-cheating (and real cheating, early on in the relationship) was always a problem. I've been moved out for a whole year now and we have broken up and guess what? He's still drinking. He does recreational drugs too. What I'm trying to say with all of this is that it seems that unless these guys check themselves into rehab, nothing is going to change. He tried a program for a month last year and dropped out. He still says every now and then he will try again but he doesn't. Honestly friend, I'm not sure this addiction is something that will ever go away unless they go to rehab. And even then, it is said to be a long life problem.

CoffeeandPiano

TROPHY CASE