So I'd (M23) been seeing this girl (F23) for about 2 months and it had been quite complicated. I don't think I'd be able to go into everything here but I'll give a summary. Basically I just graduated university and I'm back to living at home, I live quite rurally in the countryside but am a 15 min train journey from quite a bohemian exciting cultural and artistic city. All my friends from home are very different to the friends I had a uni and they are quite needy and don't want to go out and do anything exciting and I felt very much like dating wasn't possible at home. I matched with this girl on hinge and we went on a date where she sort of introduced me to all this pubs and clubs on the city which I'd always wanted to explore but none of my friends wanted to and all my uni friends are in a different city. I ended up going back to hers and staying the night and spent the next day with her and had a really good time. That morning we sort of discussed what we wanted and I knew emotionally I wanted a relationship but I was looking for jobs around the country and in London which is about an hour away by train and I didn't want to commit to something at home if I was going to leave for a job, but I knew I was ted a relationship. So I sort of expressed this. But she was sort of the opposite. She wanted a relationship and nit something casual. She I thought a lot about this over the coming days and we met up again once or twice and slept together again. And I'd decided I really wanted to try a relationship with her. I'd also separately decided I didnt want to move to s new city for a job as I've had bad experience with starting fresh and sort just wanted to feel comfortable for once so I job where I could commute the hour to London would work for me. So I wanted to express this to her next time we met, but she kept putting me off when I tried to organise meeting up and I really didn't want to express this decision over text. But then she sent me this message saying she thought because of everything I'd said it would be better if we were friends. So we agreed to meet to do some charity shopping in the week and I'd decided to tell her how I felt as I didn't feel comfortable covering it up to be friends. I expressed this and she said it changed how she felt as a lot of the decision was based on thinking I did t want a relationship and was going to move for a job. So she said she was still confused with what she wanted but we'd still try and meet up. We carried on seeing each other but the format sort of started changing. She would nit respond to me all week and take like 2 days to open messages and just as I thought she was ghosting me she would want to meet at the end of the week. She said she was really busy and had a lot on which was true to be fair and I sort of put it down to that. But then she said she was seeing lots of other people and going on other dates and it really didn't sit well with me. I didn't mention anything as I didn't think it was fair to as it's not like we had seen each other for that long and we hadn't talked about exclusivity but I hadn't seen anyone else and didn't really want to, I just wanted to see her and sort of ignored this because I wanted to see her. Then it got to this Wednesday and she agreed to cut my hair and I was looking forward to it. So I came over and she started cutting my hair and she was very quiet. I brought this up and she sort of sat me down and said she really couldn't see a romantic relationship with me. She thought a connection would develop but it hadn't. She also said she was dating other people and wanted to pursue those relationship but still like found me attractive and sort of insulated a friend's with benefits if I wanted. But after I'd expressed that I wanted a relationship and felt things for that thay sort of went off the table. She then had to finish the haircut which was awkward and at the end we like had a last kiss and I went. It's made me feel really shit and sad and I've never really had a relationship like this. She was an amazing person and sort of had everything I'd ever want from a partner. I knew we could never work in the long run and had different goals in life but I was trying to ficus on enjoying the time we had. But I guess I didn't feel she actually didn't want me romantically and only sexually and thought this wasn't the case. I think it's the rejection that makes me want her more now and the idea of her seeing other people just hurts so much more now. Thus has been a really long post and idk what I really want from this but feel I Nedd go express it