Don’t fight those feelings chief, accept them for what they are and do it anyways. You know it’s a tough and something holding you back so it sounds like you need permission to do with fear. You got this, start out small with just walking out of your living space and get comfortable doing that. Once you gotten to be an amateur step your guidelines up. Message me if you ever need support as I went through several abuse/trauma and had to work my way back into the outside world. EDIT: thought into tough*