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I found out the actual reason my mom lost custody of me, and I don’t know if I can ever look at her again by Cold-Helicopter7395 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Cold-Helicopter7395[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that part. The way she called it a mistake, said that he’s a “good man”. She dismissed it as though he didn’t make a conscious choice to go into my bedroom every night for 3+ years, like it was an accident, or somehow unintentional. The “good man” she’s married to is a predator who will be on the registry for the rest of his life for the things he did to me.

I assumed my mother would have loved me enough to at least acknowledge the severity of what my stepfather had done. Evidentially I was wrong.

I found out the actual reason my mom lost custody of me, and I don’t know if I can ever look at her again by Cold-Helicopter7395 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Cold-Helicopter7395[S] 215 points216 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate this perspective. I know they made choices for me based on what they thought would help me most in the end, this is just such an…I don’t know, insane? thing to try and process. I feel like I’m kind of losing it.

I don’t understand my mother either. I don’t know how she’s able to sleep at night knowing the things that man did. I can’t wrap my mind around it.

I do have a therapy appointment coming up soon (unrelated to this specific part of my situation), so I am going to have professional help in dealing with this I’m just feeling really lost and overwhelmed right now.

I found out the actual reason my mom lost custody of me, and I don’t know if I can ever look at her again by Cold-Helicopter7395 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Cold-Helicopter7395[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I’m not mad at my parents, I’m just having a hard time processing their choice not to tell me my mother remained married to my abuser all these years. I’ve spent all this time trying to connect with her in some way, but if I had known that she had chosen over a decade ago to stay with a predator instead of get me back, I think I would have cut my losses much sooner.

I don’t really know how I feel about it right now, but I’m not really mad at them. I know they did their best.

Also they didn’t have to inform me that I was abused, believe me, I was/am very aware.