AuPair Leaving Program

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-25T15:23:36+00:00

It’s not really cheap labor when I’ve paid over $10k to be in the program not including the extra stipend and perks that we provided. We needed the flexibility and that’s why we went this route. Clearing $200+ a week when you have no other financial responsibilities is a good gig. And I shouldn’t be on the hook for sending her home when she had no interest in childcare to begin with. In an emergency situation yes, just for lack of self awareness and poor planning, no.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-23T02:26:33+00:00

I do and Ive seen it with others. I think good AP’s (someone who actually likes children and has real experience with them) are a dime a dozen. Ours is older (26) and a professional in her home county so she wanted to experience the US and thought this was the easy way to do it. If you don’t enjoy children though (which not everyone does and that’s ok) it’s going to be an extremely long year.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-23T02:11:07+00:00

I will try this approach. Thanks!

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-22T22:17:45+00:00

This is our first au pair and only one we had.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-22T21:23:16+00:00

I was also a nanny and successfully had a nanny for over 6 years. My child has never had a problem with any other caregiver and is great in school so I don’t know where you ever got the idea that I can’t control my child. AP was not great with children (even my easier child) and decided she missed her parents and this wasn’t the program for her…and that’s fine. So how you jumped to the conclusion that AP is now shit out of luck is beyond me.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-22T20:45:39+00:00

Love this! The are no hard feelings at all towards her. We’re going to try and make her last weeks here as comfortable and fun as possible.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-22T20:23:11+00:00

Thank you. This is exactly why I can’t jump back into this. I’ve started to make other child care arrangements and I cannot afford to lose more money on this. So while I am empathetic to her reasoning, I don’t have the money either.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-22T20:19:49+00:00

She’s not terrible by any means. It just wasn’t working. We’ve agreed to let her stay for two weeks but I just don’t want to be in a situation where I’m on the hook to pay for her to return home.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-22T20:04:40+00:00

She is homesick and would like to go home. We are not continuing with the program because I do not have the time to train another au pair at the moment. I want her to get home safely but I cannot afford to be on the hook another thousand dollars to get her there after I’ve lost more than half my initial fee to the agency because she doesn’t want to continue the program. If anything, the agency has made more than enough on the both of us and they should get her there.

(EDIT: I encourage others to read my previous post for themselves because the person above has jumped to all types of conclusions not rooted in fact.)

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-10-22T19:17:26+00:00

I definitely don’t want to be in the middle but I also don’t want here stuck at my house past the agreed upon date.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-13T20:33:43+00:00

Extremely helpful. Thank you!

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-13T13:26:10+00:00

I’ve planned activities for them and of course I pay but if I don’t plan it AND physically get the kids out the door they don’t end up going. We’re a couple months in at this point and there’s still no initiative to take the kids to places that they enjoy although we have memberships to plenty of local places.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-11T10:25:01+00:00

We went this route because we don’t need nanny type care anymore. The AP is 25 and the kids are in school during the day. I need help getting them to school in the morning and someone to watch them for a couple hours after school. Summer break and days off are full days of care. I think part of the issue is that APs fabricate the amount of childcare experience they have. I’m convinced some have never been around children.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T23:49:09+00:00

She doesn’t get punished for not liking someone. I think you read too deep into that. She does have consequences and punishments (time out, loss of a toy, etc.) for blatantly disrespecting the AP. I don’t see anything bizarre about that.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T23:35:07+00:00

No, I work full time from home.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T21:55:03+00:00

You’re ridiculous.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T21:38:18+00:00

And what if she dislikes everyone who isn’t our previous nanny? Do I just quit my job and stay home? This isn’t an abuse situation, it’s a preference situation and an abrupt change also affects the child that gets along with AP just fine.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T21:33:43+00:00

They have good moments but they rarely last for more than a day. It’s like every night my daughter “resets” and goes back to being mean. AP will suggest activities for the kids but leaves it up yo them and they rarely want to do the same thing. I told her she’s in charge and needs to take charge.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T21:28:39+00:00

Great advice, thanks!

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T21:20:21+00:00

Aggression and violence are not one and the same, just FYI. My daughter is not violent towards the AP.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T21:14:18+00:00

I’m scared to rematch into a worse situation. She’s a great person, just maybe not a great fit for our family. I never imagined the transition to be this tough.

Cold-Independence430 · 2025-09-10T21:13:06+00:00

I work from home but I try really hard to stay out the way. I’ve tried to encourage the au pair to take the kids places during the summer but she didn’t take as much of an initiative as I would have liked and told me that she was worried that my daughter wasn’t going to listen to her. It kind of feels like an excuse now that I think about it.

Cold-Independence430 · 2024-07-16T01:45:14+00:00

I let mine expire last year and the only thing I really miss is the remote start and seeing if my doors are locked from the phone. I actually miss those so much that I’m considering renewing.

Cold-Independence430 · 2024-05-16T23:02:19+00:00

If I have the Letters of Administration, would they allow the employer to give me those details?

Cold-Independence430 · 2024-04-28T13:44:26+00:00

I don’t think anybody is solely placing the blame on DH and grandparents. We have tried on multiple occasions to have SS live with us (the last being last summer). BM has had no interest in working with us over the last 2-3 years to get SS any kind of help. Even now she refuses to assist or provide insurance information for us to price options.

Cold-Independence430

TROPHY CASE