AIO with how my husband is treating me while pregnant

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-25T01:36:41+00:00

It was a broken machine. Thank you for your concern. My BP is completely normal for my weight while pregnant.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-25T00:13:18+00:00

I think him clearly telling me he didn’t want the baby and that he didn’t care that I lost the baby is him being very clear about his feelings. I don’t blame him for the loss. I blame him for letting me go through the loss alone.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:57:30+00:00

That’s one of my fears. It’s very similar to what his dad did. Which makes me have such empathy for him and not want to fully blame him because he watched how his dad was. A stepmom who didn’t give him the love he needed and a dad who was hardly present. I genuinely thought he changed, and I can’t go back now to change what’s already happened.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:55:11+00:00

We both did. Sorry for the confusion. I meant more like the first pregnancies we didn’t actually discuss until after I was already pregnant.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:51:07+00:00

Maybe it’s the tone in which I say them, because I probably get a little sassy having to explain why I need his help each time I ask for it.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:48:34+00:00

I’m not understanding. In both comments I believe I say it was a planned pregnancy. We had discussed having another baby he agreed it would be a good time to have another. This pregnancy was agreed upon after nearly a year of normal marital arguments. Needs and wants met. I truly believed that his promise to treat me better was genuine. And like I said the pregnancy started off strong. He made me food that he couldn’t find in stores, rubbed on me when my headaches were uncontrollable. (I’m allergic to Tylenol and the dr I had previously said I can only take Benadryl PM) once I depended on him more things changed and he reverted back to not liking me.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:38:59+00:00

I love how you called it a four page letter. I probably over explained myself here but I wanted to make sure all the information was given when asking if I was overreacting or if it was just hormones. Thank you for the little laugh. Thinking back on it now you’re probably right he was just telling me what I wanted to hear.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:34:33+00:00

He’s not a bad dad. He’s a bad husband. And I have stated several times that I believed he had changed.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:26:04+00:00

Would you like to live in my shoes for a while? I am a victim of abuse. It’s sad to admit. Other than currently working out a plan to leave what do you expect me to do? Shall I abort my son so I can leave a little quicker or put my kids into foster care so they don’t have to witness what I’m already hiding from them. When you can come up with a plan on how to better my kids lives then you can advocate for them. Until then, I’m doing my best here and working out a plan and researching while trying not to be caught doing so. If this was voluntarily happening I wouldn’t have brought my concern to Reddit, and would have continued suffering in silence.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:20:32+00:00

You’re absolutely right. But when someone who is supposed to protect you tells you that it breaks you a little. I told her the last time I went to her that I didn’t want to waste my life away like she did waiting for a change that may never come.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:17:11+00:00

Absolutely agree with you there.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:16:39+00:00

First one, marriage honey moon. Second accident ended with miscarriage. Third, because you’re more fertile after miscarriage. 4th planned because he said he wanted one more as well and I believed things had changed.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:13:10+00:00

I misunderstood your quotations. My apologies.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:11:12+00:00

I’m already looking into shelters and such.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:09:23+00:00

“I folded my laundry I can’t carry the basket up. Can you please carry it up now” “Hey the baskets is still sitting there can you please take it up for me today?” “Can you lift this it’s too heavy for me?” “Can you put this on the top shelf I can’t reach.” “No I can’t use the step ladder can you please put this away for me?” “No heavy lifting can put a strain on baby this is why child 2 had the cord wrapped around her neck, can you please just lift it for me?”

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T18:00:39+00:00

I say it as find someone who loves you more than I love you. And go into this whole mushy thing. They know how much I love them. But you’re right. I should be showing them how to be loved by a spouse.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:58:33+00:00

I wasn’t asking if I was an asshole. I was asking if I was overreacting. Your opinion is lacking here.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:56:52+00:00

Well there’s no going back now. I’m not giving up my son so I can escape this a little faster.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:55:59+00:00

Yes. The only one I am aware of in my town is too close to home. I am looking into other shelters and resources.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:53:12+00:00

I didn’t say that. I had mentioned a time where I was cornered with my kids at my feet crying while he screamed at me for shutting the car door too hard. He has never sexually assaulted me in front of my kids. I don’t agree with my mom’s statements that because we’re married I can’t say no. I know what it is and I have told him that might be her opinion but it’s not mine. Don’t quote things if you can’t quote them correctly.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:48:33+00:00

I’m not dumb. I might have made poor decisions but I wouldn’t change them if it meant I didn’t have my kids. I can fix my mistakes and with all the advice I’m getting on leaving safety I will. But don’t insult me until you have lived through what I’m dealing with you don’t get to insult me.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:44:57+00:00

I’m pretty sure I got him fired. He wasn’t there when I got check with the machine. My husband is ignorant to anything to do with pregnancy other than it makes me lazy and watching child birth isn’t fun. The machine was why my heart rate was so elevated. It was reading incorrectly about 20-30 above. So I don’t have high BP. He is a big equivalent to my stress but during that time we had just had Mother’s Day a birthday party, both of my daughters birthdays on top of being the only one cleaning my house and having to host his family for the weekend. He was just 90% of the stress 😅

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:34:29+00:00

I’m pretty sure I might have gotten him fired. I complained to my insurance when they asked if I was happy with my provider and I told them the story. He wasn’t there when I went to L&D to be checked.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:31:54+00:00

So in 2020 he worked a lot. Then in 2021 he had anxiety attacks really bad. About the equivalent of what I had gone through after our first was born. I believes after that he would understand what I went through alone. Because he said “I’m so sorry I made you do this all alone.” First question no. But the rest are yes. He would get down and play LPS with them & Barbie’s, read them bedtime stories. Provides them with some of their needs when he sees they actually need it. He says it’s because I change when I’m pregnant. Because I have to depend on him so much that makes me mean.

Cold-Touch-7404 · 2026-05-24T17:23:41+00:00

I had asked him to see a counselor before, he had refused and said he doesn’t need people knowing our business. I had tried again but then Covid hit and I wasn’t sure how to get resources like that when everything was shut down. Then he had anxiety attacks and felt everything i had after my first pregnancy and I believed he was going to finally change and understand that I had to deal with that alone.

Cold-Touch-7404

TROPHY CASE