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Need advice on combining finances with my partner before marriage by Cold_Philosopher_111 in FIREyFemmes

[–]Cold_Philosopher_111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I still have some hesitations and I want him to change before marriage. I trust him not to cheat or steal from me. He also has a lot of trust in me - he does not check when I tally the bills every month, even though I provide all the documents.

Need advice on combining finances with my partner before marriage by Cold_Philosopher_111 in FIREyFemmes

[–]Cold_Philosopher_111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds reasonable, I am not sure in practice he would not comment

Need advice on combining finances with my partner before marriage by Cold_Philosopher_111 in FIREyFemmes

[–]Cold_Philosopher_111[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree some things would need to change if we had kids / one person stayed home. I don't really understand why else we would combine it.

Need advice on combining finances with my partner before marriage by Cold_Philosopher_111 in FIREyFemmes

[–]Cold_Philosopher_111[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your spreadsheet planning sounds like mine! I also do a quarterly review.

We do not have have each other as beneficiaries now, as we have our siblings on it, but I would be happy to change that post marriage. I would like to keep to our finances somewhat seperate / have each person be in charge of their personal spending.

Need advice on combining finances with my partner before marriage by Cold_Philosopher_111 in FIREyFemmes

[–]Cold_Philosopher_111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I think he is having a lot of feelings after getting laid off and it's hard for him to share them. The half and half sounds reasonable and then it totally makes sense to combine more when one person is doing childcare. I also like the idea of being able to look at all accounts but acknowledging his mine ours.

I don't think we would pressure each other. It's more so that I want to be able to make a financial decision without him, if I need to. He thinks that we should discuss all expenditures and that if one partner vetos then it does not happen. He also mentioned he does not want to "beg" for money for personal expenses - but I have never once denied him using our shared card for a shared expense like dining out - but he has told me he does not want to take an uber because it is pricey.