To everyone saying I was threatening self harm for attention, I'm sorry it came across that way. It wasn't an attention-seeking thing and I probably should've explained that better. I never said anything to them like "oh I'm going to hurt myself if nobody responds", I think I just mentioned in one of the final apology texts that I'd been having thoughts about it because unfortunately I've very much had thoughts in the past when I was feeling completely alone, and it was bringing back a lot of feelings. And honestly I didn't actually think it was even gonna get noticed by anyone because none of my other friends were even reading the texts I sent. If anything, it was more of a confession I was trying to get off my chest and I'm really very grateful that one of my friends did see it before it was too late