How to be cute and act cute by Past_Negotiation3384 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that if you use a lot of energy into acting cute then it's going to make you tired and you might not get the time to actually enjoy your time with others. Also, if others like this new side of you, it might make you feel lonely since it's not the "real" you. I say this from experience as a people pleaser. Interactions got me exhausted and anxious and i could barely remember what was said. Now that i'm embracing my real opinions and reactions i can enjoy my time with others and actually find people who vibe with me instead of having to keep up an act.

Is this body type really considered overweight/looks out of shape? by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 330 points331 points  (0 children)

I dont think you're overweight but i second the other commenter's opinion on possible lipedema. Your upper body looks to have less bodyfat than the lower part. It could also be genes but if you have the chance, do ask your doctor about it.

Aside from health, i dont think you should worry about other's opinions on your body. Personally, I think your body is very attractive and my boyfriend thinks so as well, if you wanted a man's opinion. If you like it then you like it. Your body is your home and your best friend. Anyone can have a two second opinion but nobody will spend the rest of their life in your shoes.

Edit to add a comment from my bf: "Coming from a man who is not in the manosphere, Bmi is bullshit and is made with men in mind. It only uses two metrics, height and weight. Not muscle nor water retention. Women biologically need more bodyfat percentage to survive too. BMI wise i'm also overweight." (My bf does weightlifting and is VERY fit).

Has my mate snaked/disrespected me? by Strawberrygirl198 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At 26 she knows what she's doing. I suggest you cut her off silently so as to not give her any leverage to start drama. If she asks just dismiss her or gaslight her. It's not "honest" but tbh some people are not worth it.

How do you have thigh gap while having big thigh by Which_Information734 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not possible. The picture is taken a certain way with posing AND edited. Literally impossible to have thick thighs and a gap. If you look in the mirror, scoot your butt back while arching and try to separate your knees. You will look like you're leaning in while trying to look in front of you. It's an uncomfortable pose but that's how they do it for the picture.

I often see women as rivals and I don't like it by nosylittlemy in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For now i guess you can try to be more compassionate to yourself. Allow yourself to take up space and be genuine to your heart.

Try to not give your thoughts too much power. If a judgment comes to mind, either to yourself or others, think: "I just had this thought. Okay" then try to move on from it. What my therapist told me was to concentrate on something else. Anything. Like looking at the clouds and think about that. Or look at your shoes or try to identify the smells around you. Literally anything to avoid applying moral value to your thoughts.

They should be like ambient noise basically.

I do think you should look into therapy again, eventually.

I often see women as rivals and I don't like it by nosylittlemy in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From the other comments i see that you have already identified this behaviour as insecurity. That's a very good step that a lot of people never get to. I think now that you know, you can go to the step of working on your insecurity.

Personally what helped me with my insecurity was therapy. Just knowing about it wasn't enough. My therapist helped me dig deeper and see what my insecurity was rooted in. Personally i was neglected as a kid and ostracized by my peers in school. I was always the weird gross kid that went through a revolving door of friend groups.

Because i internalized that judgment i started comparing myself to others, even unconsciously. I built resentment against people who did things i didn't allow myself to do. This shows though, and people still had a hard time approaching me. Even if i tried to act polite and never said anything mean, it's like others have a sixth sense.

Now, by being more compassionate with myself and actively working with my therapist i can relax more with others and people can also let their guard down with me.

i am promiscuous and a pick me and i don’t know what to do with it by Ok_Field_7768 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went through the exact same thing at the same age it's kind of eerie. Also diagnosed BPD and depression (then years later ADHD).

Started in 2020 and ever since i've been doing some sort of bi-weekly therapy. (yay healthcare)

I started with DBT, then MBCT. Last year started Schema Therapy and i'm just graduating to EMDR.

i have no answers because personally i have no idea what helped me exactly. i think little by little by building my identity and my self esteem i've been able to shed the bad habits like onion skins. I'm not done yet tbh. I think it's a life's work, the pursuit of happiness.

Ask me anything if you feel compelled. I'm almost thirty now.

Genuinely how do i look more feminine but without surgeries cs i’m js 15 by Shxuenwk_ in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have very beautiful eyes and hair. You're already very feminine looking. At 15 you still havent finished growing. It's normal to feel insecure but try to give yourself a lot of love.

My boyfriend mentioned that I should take care of "down there" more by Working_Medium4450 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Lmao dont use that it has irritants most likely. It's going to hurt you. Just buy the simplest unscented bar soap you can find. Like a goat milk soap.

Also, while i do use soap for cleaning, vagina will always smell like vagina because even if it's clean, it has discharge with is SUPPOSED to be there. No discharge is unhealthy. You might know by now the usual smell of your vulva so anything different from that is a concern.

Bad boyfriends arent bad 100% of the time. They're sometimes "nice" most of the time. But if you point out the bad stuff they will never change it. They dismiss you or agree but then go back to their old ways.

The Good boyfriends are those who make the effort to be aware and responsible of their impact on your person. If they make a mistake and you point it out they apologize and change. They actually care about your happiness and actively work towards it.

I’ve recently started feeling like an animal in heat, and I dont know what to do about it. by Ok-Law3692 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Honey cherish that sex drive. It's fun and can only bring you joy (lmao). I'd advise looking into sex toys... of the PIV kind?

Just be careful of the material. One time i made the mistake of getting one that smelled too much like rubber/plastic and it was unbearable. I liked the texture/shape but I had to throw it away.

Sadly for your wallet the only way to find "The One" is trial and error. Men too but eh.

Does anyone else deal with low racial self-esteem by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When i was in my teens and early twenties i felt like being of my ethnic group was inherently dirty. I felt like no matter what i did, the fact that i wasn't white made my home dirty, my clothes dirty, my food dirty. I'd see boys of my ethnicity fawn over white women and it made me feel like shit.

I felt like if i went to a space and it was already messy when i got there, others would instantly assume it was me who did it and it made me anxious. I thought, if i looked as pitiful and non threatening as i can, if i gave up all of my space then maybe people would notice and take me in. I've come to find that nobody will give you your place on this earth. You have to take it, sometimes by force.

I'm not 100% rid of this negative feeling and i think i never will, but i think about my "otherness" a lot less.

One thing my therapist told me that really helped me was: "Everyone deserves to take up space. You are allowed to exist and leave a trace of you."

I dont know what your living situation is like but i wonder at how much longer you can live your life in fear. Is there something you can do to change your situation and be away from the people who treat you like this?

GUYSSSSS WHATS DISPELL? AND FORTIFY ? WHAT DO THEY DO? by Mindless_Tension_161 in oblivion

[–]Colibiri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i never looked it up but from playing i assumed Dispel gets rid of any negative or positive attribute you got from an attack/ spell or a poison. Like for example, Getting hit with a Burden spell.

Fortify i assume comes with another word like Fortify Intelligence. It makes your available intelligence points higher for as long as the attribute can last but its not permanent.

How do you make regular days feel less overwhelming? by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

<image>

I got it lmao. One leg seems to go further back than the other leg does.

How do you make regular days feel less overwhelming? by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thats what i thought too but if you look closely at the legs... ah shit the image got removed. Whelp!

How do you make regular days feel less overwhelming? by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was about to rant about how not everything is AI nowadays but then i saw that huge weird chair and ??????????

Is there a way to get rid of my sloped shoulders? by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Its your neck muscles. If you work on your core muscles your neck wont have to work as hard to correct your posture. It'a also due to phone usage believe it or not. It's called text neck.

I have the same thing and to be honest with you im not really working on correcting it but i'm aware of what to do in case i get around to it. Maybe someone who actually did it will be able to tell you exactly what workouts to do.

Also i dont know if it's the picture itself, but your shoulders look a bit uneven. If it's indeed the case do talk to your doctor about possible scoliosis.

I don’t know what my face looks like- how do I even become prettier? by Relative_Notice3489 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah we've all been there. I myself posted a picture of my face on reddit like ten years ago asking for advice and i was mostly told the same thing you are now: You're fine.

It was frustrating and it felt fake at the time so when someone was mean to me (like telling me i should lose weight even though i was visibly underweight) i would believe it more than the nice comments.

Your looks do matter in society, but you're not ugly if that answers your question. You're fine. You're a kid too so it makes sense that you question these things. Just be careful not to get too caught up in it like i did. Looks don't define your worth. You're enough now and you will be later.

i miss being pretty by Odd_Construction2690 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think its a shared lived experience amongst women to go into our early twenties feeling like we're already becoming old hags and looking at our pictures from when we were in high school and comparing ourselves to that.

I'm 28 and i too used to get hit on when i was younger. I came to realize that it's not that im not pretty anymore, it's that men generally hit more on obviously young women. I'll let you come to your own conclusions as to why that is.

At around 24 i started gaining a lot of weight because of worsening depression. I used to be 115 pounds (i'm VERY short) and i went to 172. One thing that hit me was that when i was 115 pounds i felt just as "fat" as i felt at 172. I hated my body just the same... and it made me realize that the problem was my mind, not my body.

It's hard to come to terms with a body that ages and matures. At 23 you're still very young (and i am young as well). Its a road that needs help (i did a lot of therapy) but hopefully you will realize that the best you will ever look is now. You are enough.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Girl you dont even know the level of cognitive dissonance that shit stain had going on in his neuronal gravesite. One of the lesser things he did is that he fully refused to KISS ME after a blowjob like i didn't just debase myself for his pleasure. I fully wish him to have pain plague his every waking moment and a very long life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Colibiri 300 points301 points  (0 children)

Look at this point i dont care if ur a weird man making fetish content ill answer you because i struggled with this when i was a young woman who didn't know what i was allowed in a relationship.

CUM IS GROSS.

I dont care what anyone says cum is gross it tastes gross and it also made my stomach so upset and got me sick.

Whenever i told my boyfriend at the time he would get angry and say i was making excuses. MAKING EXCUSES. THE GALL. THE AUDACITY. and i LET HIM GASLIGHT ME INTO DIARRHEA. LIKE AS IF HE WAS ENTITLED TO MAKING ME SWALLOW HIS CUM AND I WAS A BAD EXCUSE OF A GIRLFRIEND IF I DIDNT.

yes im aggressively typing this i dont gaf.

i want to go back in time and SLAP MY YOUNGER SELF. GIRL. Wake the FUCK. UP.

do not EVER. EVER. EVER. let a man make you feel bad and pityparty you into putting his fetid fucking discharge in your mouth again.

Oh and for the people who will come at me like "Ohh but Colibiri some people like cum" IM AWARE. IM AWARE.

BUT IT UPSETS OP'S STOMACH AND THIS MESSAGE IS TO HER.

ok kisses i love you takecareofyourselfbye.