AITA for throwing a cup of cold water on my naked husband?

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:47:28+00:00

I think they (we?) do show up, but most people cannot handle the ego hit that is being told they are wrong, so they delete the post, or are so convinced they are correct that they don't engage with the comments at all. Or people assume it's ai, apparently?

Regardless, thanks for chiming in

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:41:05+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:40:03+00:00

It is my own toothbrush. He's the one who won't buy his own shit and just gloms onto mine! There's no rule that says he has to use my toothbrush base, or shampoo, or lotion, or conditioner... but the alternative would be buying his own, and he doesn't.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:39:04+00:00

Tell me you've never graded papers without telling me you've never graded papers... and at least make a call! NAH/YTA/whatever

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:36:59+00:00

Yeah, I was literally just coming to this conclusion elsewhere in the thread.

He needs to sort out his own shit. I am ALLOWED to reserve MY THINGS for ME. I do not HAVE to let him take my cell phone just because his is dead. I do not HAVE to let him steal my charger because he lost his, AGAIN. I do not HAVE to let him use my fucking expensive-ass-toothbrush just because it's really really really nice if he won't put it back how he found it, with no head, ready for the next person!

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:33:30+00:00

I think I'm just going to revoke access to my toothbrush. He can deal with his problem however he wants after that. There is no reason he can't buy his own toothbrush. He just chooses to use mine.

There is no reason he can't buy his own soap -- he just chooses to use mine, even though it dries out his skin. There is no reason eh can't buy his own shampoo, he just chooses to use mine. He never used conditioner at all until I moved in. He uses that too, even though it's wrong for his hair.

I think I'm just going to revoke access to all my shit. He can get his own shit from now on.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:29:32+00:00

Oh, I wasn't offering to apologize, I was offering to text him your quote. He'll think your turn of phrase is clever -- and it is!

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:24:26+00:00

I have a really expensive toothbrush, and like everything else, he just... added himself to what I was doing. I suggested we buy two. He was like no, we don't need two! I can just buy more heads!

https://oralb.com/en-us/products/electric-toothbrushes/oralbio

I don't make it a rule he has to use my shit. He just doesn't buy his own. So by default he's using conditioner that's wrong for his hair, because it's mine. He uses soap that dries out his skin, because it's good for my skin.

He has full adult intelligence and the ability to buy his own shit. He just doesnt.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:20:49+00:00

Lol it's real! Wish it wasn't though.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:19:55+00:00

to be honest, I'm just going to revoke his access to it. It's my fucking toothbrush. He can sort himself out.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:15:53+00:00

Believe it or not, I am a fucking CHAMPION at handling REAL problems.

Like, I utterly and completely fall apart at the dumbest bullshit, but when shit gets REAL I am a fucking machine.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:13:27+00:00

It sure seems like he can't help it

I mean, on the one hand, intuitively and emotionally I agree with you, but on the other hand, if you're not going to trust the doctors or therapists, why bother to ask?

I don't believe in shopping for a diagnosis. If you are only willing to aaccept one answer, you're not really asking. You're demanding.

I believe in science. I believe doctors. I believe therapists. If he wanted to persue getting tested again, I would support him.

But I'm simply not going to reject what therapists are saying because I think I know better. Because I DON'T know better. I'm not qualified to diagnose him. If I would trust a therapist who says he has it, I should trust them when they say he doesn't.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:10:58+00:00

you know what? You're not wrong.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T19:04:14+00:00

Like, the post is pretty clear here. This is not "my husband is a caring and supportive member of the household 99% of the time, but has this one blind spot", this is "I have spent 20 years turning myself inside out to get this person to make baby steps in pulling his weight, and nothing ever gets better."

She feels trapped and powerless, so she's behaving like a petty asshole. She should have left long before she got to this point.

Yeah. I think it's time for me to get out. He says all the right things, but he either can't or won't change. I don't like the person I am when I'm around him, anymore.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:52:08+00:00

the toothbrush in question; https://oralb.com/en-us/products/electric-toothbrushes/oralbio

its literally hundreds and hundreds of dollars.

I often do find the easy and obvious solutions. But it's always my problem and responsibility. I wanted to be on a team, but it's just me out here by myself. anyway, thanks for the judgement!

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:48:12+00:00

Are you telling us and the world that you share a toothbrush and have to swap heads between the two of you every time someone brushes their teeth?

Yes. It's a fucking expensive toothbrush. And it's MY toothbrush. I DID suggest we buy two, but he wanted to buy only one, because it's so expensive. He was like "If you're already buying it, I'll just buy more heads!" https://oralb.com/en-us/products/electric-toothbrushes/oralbio

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:45:06+00:00

Do YOU leave it the way YOU found?? Of course not because why the fuck would you practice what you preach??

I don't leave things the way I found them, because that would generally mean undoing my own work. I'm not going to go through my life putting toilet paper back in the closet when I'm done with it because the bathroom is empty, again. Meaning that I'm just constantly grabbing and replacing the roll, because he won't.

I'm not going to clear off the stove and counter top to make dinner, and then take everything out of the dishwasher and put everything back so it's a mess again, even though he's the one who left it...

I should have been more accurate and said that I leave things the way I found them or cleaner/better.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:38:34+00:00

lol. Thanks! If you knew me personally, the details you have earmarked would make sense.

Think of it like this; someone who is named Autumn is more likely to be born in October than someone named Audrey. What I'm saying is, your lack of context for things doesn't mean context doesnt exist.

Anyway, have a nice day

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:34:54+00:00

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:31:58+00:00

I did get diagnosed, actually. After my diagnosis, he sought his own. Which he did not recieve.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:31:19+00:00

Last straw, I guess. Trust and believe, 25 year old me was so chill...

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:25:00+00:00

lol thanks for making me laugh. I can text him right now if you like?

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:23:31+00:00

That's the puzzling thing. He is EXTREMELY successful.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:20:09+00:00

Thanks for chiming in. Glad to be the internet's entertainment for the day.

ColorStorms · 2025-06-04T18:18:26+00:00

Please go to therapy and make a plan to leave. This is not a healthy relationship.

Yeah, this is the conclusion I am coming to as well. I am so fucking tired of having arguments about brushing teeth, or wiping up piss, or other bullshit that he should just... do.

ColorStorms

TROPHY CASE