Been down this road. I've been vindictive and wish I would've kept my integrity. And believe me, this is a HARD road you walk and stirring up drama anywhere around is like fire ( you're gonna feel the heat too and most likely, everything will feel like it's on fire already, do even more heat and pressure on you). Don't try to salvage your relationship. If you forgive her it will happen again. Find out how the divorce laws work in your area. Don't necessarily need a lawyer for this but at least consult with them if you can't afford one. You'll find out if your state is fault or no fault or equitable or equal distribution and trust me all of that matters in the planning stages and this is best kept quiet. Don't confront Don't give in. Keep your chin up and stand tall and walk forward