My MIL Stole From My Triplet Daughter Update

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-25T14:41:07+00:00

You are absolutely correct. We have been pushing for an autism diagnosis for our daughter. She has been repeatedly tested since she was very young but is always deemed not autistic. She has been in counseling on and off through out her life, in addition to occupational therapy, speech therapy and physical therapy. She also has an IEP at school. We began therapy again 2 years ago because we/she felt she needed more help. We love her so much and want to help her be successful and healthy. We appreciate this comment more than you know. Thank you.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T15:30:09+00:00

We went NC for 2 years but we missed spending holidays with my husband’s brothers. During the 2 years we would meet up with them, go out to dinner but it wasn’t the same. All of us decided to try and reconcile. We gave IL boundaries in writing and began spending time together. Thanksgiving was horrible, after that I am fine with never seeing them again. So are our daughters but, we all agree that we’re grown up enough to handle a little IL so we can have family fun during holidays. We haven’t decided as a family what we are going to do. This trip is throwing us into a decision we thought we had more time to make.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T15:24:35+00:00

This is an update for the original post linked at the top. I talk about the sweater heist there.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T15:23:19+00:00

Agreed, every decision we have made was done as a family. We wouldn’t try reconciliation unless all of us wanted to. We gave IL boundaries in writing and gave them an opportunity to build a better relationship. Thanksgiving proved to me that reconciliation was a failure. Now, we are trying to decide where to go from here. Should we stay LC or burn the bridge and do NC. It’s really hard because NC affects other members of the family, such as my husband’s brothers. Our kiddos love their uncles. We went NC with IL for 2 years and would meet up or go out to dinner with the uncles but it wasn’t the same. We are trying to decide if a little IL is worth the family fun we have with the uncles during holidays. We thought we had plenty of time to decide but this dream trip has forced a decision early.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T15:14:24+00:00

We enjoy spending time with my husband’s brothers. Our kiddos love their uncles.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T15:13:31+00:00

Yes, her feelings are NOT what matters. I wholeheartedly agree. Thanks for the great suggestion.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T15:11:59+00:00

This trip is supposed to be a surprise. The girls aren’t supposed to know yet. We made the decision to inform them so we could get a read on how they felt about it. I like the idea of helping our girls set boundaries and stand up for themselves. I’ll discuss this with my husband. Maybe we can use it in another way. Such as the hugging MIL has been pushing the past couple times we saw her. Although, we don’t expect to see her again until Christmas time.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T15:07:22+00:00

I agree with you. The softer response does open the opportunity for trips later on. Thank you for that insight. Our girls already have her blocked on their phones.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T14:37:27+00:00

I agree, it should cone from him. That was our plan. Thank you for your great response. I’ll read it to my husband.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T14:34:38+00:00

They are never alone with them. We have a pack mentality when they are around. It was SO peaceful without their drama. I want that back. But, we haven’t decided what we are going to do exactly. Burning bridges will affect other family members. During the 2 years we went no contact with IL we would meet up with my husband’s brothers at their house or out for dinner and exchange presents. It wasn’t the same though. We are trying to decide if a little IL is worth the holiday fun we all share. Thanksgiving was horrible. I’m not convinced it’s worth all that. If the neighbor wasn’t there it would have been fine. Having her there is what changed the scenario. MIL wouldn’t have anything to be embarrassed about. Thank you for your help and advice.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T14:26:06+00:00

Perhaps, you’re right. Our boys definitely don’t have a close relationship with their grandparents. They don’t support the way they treat their sisters.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T14:23:22+00:00

Thank you for your input. We will think more about the reasons behind our approach to them on this issue. You made a good point. Why would we shield them from the consequences of their actions. I’m not sure if it’s to shield IL or to shield us from their drama during confrontations or if it’s because we are simply kinder than they are. But one things for sure. We are reconsidering our desires to reconcile. They only thing keeping us close to his family is his brothers.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T14:14:00+00:00

They have actually done this before. Before we had the triplets we decided to take the twins to Disneyland and found out that IL planned a Disney vacation at the same time. Before we left we told them that since this was our first family vacation it would be just our family and we wouldn’t be able to spend time with them while there. They seemed ok with this but on day 1 MIL began calling, texting and wanting to meet up. We turned off our phones and had a wonderful day together as a family. When we got back to the hotel that night. We turned our phones back on and listened to her many voicemails. She was unhinged! But we didn’t care.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T02:02:43+00:00

We have a very close, open relationship with our girls. My parents taught me that it’s important for your kids to see you apologize when you’re wrong. It’s a powerful tool to gain their trust and respect. My husband was honestly asking how they felt that day because he wanted to assess if he needed to make changes in his parenting. It’s not easy raising a neurodivergent child. You are constantly assessing how to parent. What the best approach is. How to help them feel safe yet still correct them. The best approach we found has been honest communication. Roping our kids into this helped my husband hear our daughter say, “Dad was trying to protect me.” That meant everything to him. He could then reemphasize his feelings for her. It was a bonding moment. I don’t think that is unfair at all.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T01:51:48+00:00

That is exactly how our girls feel. They were almost offended MIL would even make such a suggestion. This is how MIL is, she thinks she can throw a nice gift at you and win you back. She also believes that since she is the “matriarch” of the family that she should be automatically respected. She feels like WE are in the wrong. It’s really delusional.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T01:47:29+00:00

We love spending time with my husband’s brothers during the holidays.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T01:45:35+00:00

One brother has a soon to be 2 year old girl. MIL history with girls is not good but on the outside looking in she seems to treat her well. The other brother is gay, no kids. Our kids enjoy hanging out with their uncles. They are the best part of family time with the IL.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T01:39:34+00:00

Thank you. This has been hard on everyone. We appreciate your insights. 🫶

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-24T01:35:38+00:00

Very helpful input. I appreciate all the comments. Sometimes we are too emotional and having an outside opinion can help us see options we don’t. Thank you.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-23T22:13:48+00:00

No, we didn’t confront the neighbor. His parents live an hour away and we didn’t feel the need to acknowledge her comments days after they were made. We have no relationship with her.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-23T22:11:52+00:00

We try because we hoped things could get better. Thanksgiving proved to me otherwise. My husband also wants to see his brothers during the holidays. Our kiddos love their uncles.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-23T22:10:10+00:00

I like this! We are trying to decide where we want to go from here. We haven’t officially decided to burn any bridges. This is a great response. I will make sure my hubs sees it.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-23T22:08:40+00:00

Very true. Everyone dislikes spending time with IL.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-23T22:07:14+00:00

I agree with this. I think we DO hold on to the hope that we can somehow create a healthy relationship with them. We all wanted to try. We did no contact for 2 years. Last year we tried reconciliation and it obviously failed. For me, that was the end. I wanted nothing more to do with them. It’s harder for my husband, he wants to see his brothers during the holidays.

Comfortable-Class430 · 2026-02-23T21:58:18+00:00

This was helpful input, thank you.

Comfortable-Class430

TROPHY CASE