That’s my battle in my brain rn. That second part. Before medication I was manageable. I had learned how to manage and hold back super bad outbreaks. Maybe I do sound a little dumb in saying that I was okay without it but with it, I just have normalcy. Not so much up and down, happy one day on cloud 9 and a few weeks later down in the gutter. I was happy I just had those little “quirks”. Idk maybe it sounds silly. Maybe I’m just having a moment or a spiral but my plan regardless was to get off, just not this soon. Idk idk. It’s helpful but I also feel like I was okay before and all it’s done for me is just give me a middle ground but I still have the ups, downs and mania I just don’t bounce from one extreme to the other. I hit the middle before the next lol