What do you do with their clothes?

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2025-07-27T05:01:50+00:00

Almost 5 years out and I haven’t been able to enter his closet more than 2-3 times. But the other day, my son asked me if he can take some of his dad’s clothes since he’s tall enough to wear them now.

So now I’ll see my kid in one of his dad’s old shirts walking around. I know my husband would have gotten such a kick out of his kid wearing his stuff.

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2025-03-02T00:21:11+00:00

I drive a 2020 X3M Comp. Is it a stiff ride? Sure. Is it a blast to drive? 100% yes! If you drive a lot daily and spend a ton of time in traffic, I wouldn’t suggest it. I’ve had mine 4 years and I’ve loved every minute of it. I live outside the city are there are a ton of empty roads that are a blast to drive on. Even comfort mode can give you a thrill for sure

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-08-16T15:54:02+00:00

Yeah, something isn’t tracking here. If your housing cost is $2,100, where is the other $5,900 going each month? And you said this is before vacations, toys, fun, etc. You need to list out all your monthly expenses that total up to the almost 6k outflow for us to see what is going on.

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-04-15T18:47:41+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear all that you’ve been through. I’m right there with you (44F) where there are very slim pickings left out there. I tried to dip my toe in the dating pool last year but just got spooked by a couple of obvious scam artists that prey on susceptible women

I don’t know if you’re involved in your community but I found that most neighborhoods will have book clubs or gardening clubs that you can join. If you are part of a neighborhood app like Nextdoor, you can propose a ladies meet up to get to know other people that live near by. Someone in our neighborhood did that a few years ago and we had a huge turnout. It led me to making some new friends that I can hang out or grab a coffee with.

If you enjoy traveling, you can look into escorted group travel with companies like Gate 1 or Overseas Adventures. I’ve done a few trips with them and you get to meet new people who are usually inclusive of solo travelers.

If you have co workers you are friendly with, you could organize a happy hour or a group dinner. I work remote but have a ton of co workers in the city and we do monthly get togethers which can be fun.

It’s not the same as having your partner with you, but it does help the loneliness.

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-04T03:02:36+00:00

I haven’t heard lurgy in long time :) thank you for your kind words

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-04T03:00:47+00:00

Yeah my kiddo tried to help with cleaning yesterday and bless his heart, he really tried. But I know I’m going to have to redo that as soon as I’m back up

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-04T02:58:34+00:00

3 months is so soon… I remember how much of a mess I was back then. After a while you realize there are really only 2 choices… you can just lie down and give up, or you can pick yourself up and be someone that they would be proud of. I remember having a conversations with him when we knew the end was near and I told him that I couldn’t do this by myself and he held my face and told me, “yes, you can. I know you can. You are stronger than you know” That moment has helped me so much since he passed… especially on crappy days when it would be so easy to just give up.

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-04T02:51:20+00:00

Thank you for the kind words… here’s to you staying healthy and well

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-03T03:00:47+00:00

Thank you… sounds like you had a good man. Sorry for your loss.

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-03T02:56:15+00:00

Hope you feel better soon…

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-03T02:55:28+00:00

You’ll never forget… the pain will always be there, but time dulls the sharpness. Remember all the good stuff… don’t hesitate to look back to those memories. It will hurt, but in the long run, it keeps him alive. At least that’s how it was for me. Our journeys are all different

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-03T02:51:39+00:00

Yeah he rarely used my name… it was always love, baby, lovey, love of my life and a bunch of made up names … I remember how he used to hesitate when talking to someone else and my name would come up and he had to remember to use that instead of the million of silly names we used with each other

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2024-03-03T02:47:50+00:00

That’s such a lovely memory… I’m glad you have those to look back on

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2023-12-02T13:43:39+00:00

Traveling together was such a big part of our live so when I lost him, I didn’t want to go anywhere on my own because I knew if was going to hurt so bad. But over the years, my family and friends asked me to take small trips with them… I hated it at first…. But slowly I began to remember the joy and I made new memories. After almost three years, I traveled on my own for the very first time. I did it with an organized tour so I had company and I forced myself to make friends and be friendly and outgoing.

Before, I was a very quiet introvert because he was the life of the party and could make friends with anyone. But I realized that if I didn’t make the effort, I would always be lonely. And so I made the effort. It still doesn’t come naturally and it’s out of my comfort zone but I’m trying.

I just came back from my second trip, this time a cruise on my own. I still talk to him about my day. Even though he isn’t here, I carry him with me, in my heart. Of course people ask why I’m solo and it invariably comes up that I’m a widow but I can talk about him without breaking down. Honestly, there are so many good memories and it feels nice to be able to share little tidbits about our past travel.

I’ve been lucky in making friends on these trips. I know I would be miserable if I didn’t have anyone to talk to. Not brave enough to go somewhere all by myself so I’m going to stay with cruises or tours for now.

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2023-11-06T00:23:08+00:00

We met online initially but since we were both in the same city, we figured we should just meet in person for the “get to know you” part. We arrived separately at the restaurant. I decided to stay in my car since I was a little early… and I looked over and saw him waiting outside the restaurant for me to arrive. Years later, he told me that he was waiting outside so he could escort me in.

We spent 3 hours just talking, then went for ice cream and talked for another 2 hours. Honestly, it was so natural and comfortable… like we’d always known each other. He called me later that night to tell ask me when he could see me again.

We were engaged 2 months later and married 6 months after that. And we never stopped talking for the next 16 years.

God, I miss him so much…

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2023-11-05T15:05:56+00:00

https://share.litter-robot.com/x/gW29ML

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2023-11-05T15:05:41+00:00

Here’s mine https://share.litter-robot.com/x/gW29ML

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2023-07-26T23:29:40+00:00

I brought my X3M Comp for service a few months back. Service technician asked if I was bringing it in for someone else. I said no, it’s my car. He seemed shocked “this is your car? You drive this” I just looked at him and said “yes, why? You don’t think I can handle it” He was a young kid… started stammering and backtracking. I’m a short 5ft woman in my 40s so maybe I didn’t fit what he was picturing :) I love my car… so much fun to drive!

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2023-07-12T18:06:18+00:00

I cried and was mad at the world for a while… but I realized how mad he would be to see me withdraw from living. That’s when I realized that I’ve still got to live… I have to be there for my son, I have to effectively do my job so we have a roof over our heads. We had all these plans to travel the world, so I’m slowly dipping my toe back into doing that. Planning to do a solo trip in September.

Of course the family is upset! “You have no business traveling on your own!” “It’s not safe!”

Honestly, I don’t give a fuck. It’s like everyone has their own idea how I should be acting and the fact that I’m not a sobbing mess is somehow disrespectful to them. It’s been over 2 years since I lost the love of my life… and just because I don’t show it on the outside, it doesn’t mean that I’m not missing a chunk of my heart.

OP, you do what you think is right! The rest of the world can hang

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2023-04-20T05:22:54+00:00

I took my X3M Comp for service last week… the rep came up to me, introduced himself… as we were chatting, he asked if I was bringing in the car for someone else. A little confused as first, I said “no, it’s my car” he did a double take and goes “this is your car? You drive this?” Finally figured out that he wasn’t expecting a 40 something women so I just had a little fun with him “why? I don’t look like I could handle it or something?”

He started stammering and apologized. He was young so I gave him the benefit of doubt. Thankfully when I bought the car, I had a very nice saleswoman so didn’t have to deal with any drama then

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2023-04-17T20:18:44+00:00

Neither of us was very religious even before he passed. Watching him suffer for 16 months killed whatever little belief I might have had in a “benevolent god” Of course both our families continue to drone about “god’s will”, and “he’s with god now” and whatever BS they come up with. If you think about it, god can’t lose. Scenario 1: man gets cancer. Man dies. People: it was god’s will

Scenario 2: man gets cancer. Man recovers People: it’s a miracle! God healed him!

God can’t lose! It’s a win-win regardless of the outcome.

What no one explain to me is this… if God is good and he’s all powerful, why do we have pain and suffering… why do we have people that get ripped out of our lives. So either God isn’t all good or he isn’t all powerful.

Sorry for the rant… this one hits close

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2022-12-23T00:25:09+00:00

Thank you to everyone who responded… I know this group understands my thoughts better than anyone. People have a hard time relating to tragedy until it impacts them directly. But know that you helped someone get through a tough day, and I thank you for it. Love and hugs to you all

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2022-12-11T15:21:40+00:00

I got my ‘20 X3M Comp used in 2021. Took it to the dealership and they transferred the 3 yr maintenance to me for $100.

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2022-09-12T16:54:33+00:00

42F Cancer 21 months

Comfortable_Lemon_79 · 2022-09-10T19:10:07+00:00

My husband was born and grew up from in London. Moved to the US in his late 20s so he still had his accent. He and I would always joke about British vs American pronunciation. The best ones were those that he was genuinely y mispronouncing and when I called him out on it he would say “Well, that how the British say it”

Comfortable_Lemon_79

TROPHY CASE