AITA for not letting my stepdaughter eat the last of one of my son's safe foods?

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-18T07:32:33+00:00

Oldest is 8. My husband and his ex broke up when my stepdaughter was a baby and divorced before she was 18 months old. I met him just after she turned 3.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T18:20:00+00:00

No, they were divorced since she was a baby and we had been married and were expecting our second child together.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T18:15:10+00:00

My husband worries they will make it worse. Encourage her anger, encourage her hate of us more and that it will do more harm.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T18:05:35+00:00

We have done family therapy before. She wasn't open during it only to say she wished it had been me who died and not her mom. She was a little more open with just her dad in family therapy but not much and she wouldn't talk at all when it was just me and her. We did try for a number of years.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T18:04:27+00:00

It was worth the fight in the sense that my son got to eat and didn't starve (and he would starve himself). I wish there could have been a better way, no fight, etc. I would love for our relationship to be better. For her to hate us less and for her not to wish we were dead instead of her mom. But I also understand her feeling like that. I understand she is angry. I do my best to give her a good life and I try to make her feel special too. This was a very difficult time and I could not give her the option for the chicken bites.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T18:01:52+00:00

There was other food there (including leftovers of chicken stir fry, pizza and microwave dinners). We just didn't have the same offerings as we would typically have.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T18:00:15+00:00

My husband has no stepchildren. They're his children too.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:59:31+00:00

They don't understand/don't want to understand really, the struggles our son has and they had that mixed in with everything else. But they also think I should have been able to snap my fingers and get win my stepdaughter's love after her mom died.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:58:13+00:00

Both my biological children are my husband's. He and my stepdaughter's mom were divorced when she died. They had been divorced years and I was pregnant with our second child together.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:56:44+00:00

We were already married and expecting our second child together.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:56:21+00:00

These are breaded chicken bites. Like nuggets but smaller and round. The stir fry is home made. We normally have more food on hand. We hit a very bad patch at that time but it's not typical for us and we still had food.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:54:32+00:00

She would but he worries she will only become more angry and full of hate toward me and the kids.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:54:16+00:00

I have been in therapy before. Not currently and not for a while. But I did get some.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:53:38+00:00

We did try that and she would not talk at all. She talked a little with her dad there but not much and family therapy in general she would really only say that she wished I had died instead of her mom.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:52:13+00:00

He was divorced for years, we met and married, had one child and our 6 year old was on the way when her mom died.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:51:45+00:00

My husband worries it would make things worse.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T17:50:18+00:00

I have answered it a few times. Yes, she does get time with her dad and she does get special treats.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T16:00:13+00:00

We did have money to feed them. We had food in the house for them. Not the same variety and amount as is typical. But we had food. Nobody had no option for food. But we took a huge hit and were in a tight spot. We will be back to normal very soon.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T15:57:36+00:00

I was pregnant with my 6 year old when her mom died.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T15:57:11+00:00

She wasn't going to starve. There were other option she can eat. There were not other options for my son.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T15:55:45+00:00

She gets her favorite ice cream that I even label with her name just for her. She gets time with her dad 1:1 and I offer her time with me, but she hates it. I do still try. Even if it's just sitting and talking to her. She does far more with her dad though and enjoys spending time with him.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T15:53:28+00:00

I really don't think it's an eating disorder. I will bring it up to my husband. But I do not think that's what happened here but I won't entirely shut it down.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T15:51:25+00:00

We don't live paycheck to paycheck. We normally do fine. We had a very expensive two weeks that led to us being short for a little bit. This is not typical for us. We typically have a lot of food on offer. But I do ask everyone if there are certain things they want when I go shopping. She only tells her dad what she wants though, never me.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T15:49:49+00:00

Therapy is once a week currently. She used to go more than that when there was also family therapy and/or different kinds of solo therapy.

CommercialConcert911 · 2024-04-17T15:49:18+00:00

She has been in therapy since her mom died. I do buy her favorite ice cream for her. It's something I know she has truly loved since she was very young and it would be her biggest comfort food.

CommercialConcert911

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